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English
first two lines
are perfect, tristesse2
Yes, agree about those first two lines
"awnings dim the noon" is a perfect image and sets the tone for the poem. It's really a wonderful piece overall because in the first strophe I can see the painting; the title helps direct me but that first strophe really gets me there. But then in the second strophe you go past the awning, the window and into the room and turn it into an erotic poem. Really well done, your touch is deft. And do I need to say it is pure joy to read a new poem from you? Didn't think so. xo, S.
i love them all
the images and sensations in your poem. You are always a pleasure to read and I am so glad you came "back"
hugs, ~m
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