- All
Comments (10) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
muscled/jock barefeet would have been better
great premise..but the guys should have been hot muscled jocks..nothing more sex charged than big muscled jock barefeet(think phelps's size 13's)
Keep Writing
Good premise, as stated before. But you are right in choosing the perfect personality for Jared. A jock would never work in this story. I would like to see this story continue. You could easily have several more chapters. What do you think?
Keep going!
Don't stop! Very intriguing beginning but how do they continue?! The suspense is killing me!
MORE...
I loved this story. I really hope you continue!
Really great story so far...
More please!
Interesting
I agree with some of the other comments - another chapter of this story would be very good. I'm quite interested in where it would go from here.
Sequel!!!!
I love it!!!! 5*****!!!! Very wonderful!!! Has a darling plot & personality to the charaters!!!! I would surely want more!!!!! Can't wait! ;D
That was gorgeous 8D It's a crime that no one's commented on this yet. It's hot, but not too detailed, and a reeeeeaaallly fun read.
~Mozzarella
great
very nice and unique. It screams for a continuation though!
More?
Are you going to write any more chapters to this?
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to How I Noticed Jared or
More submissions by eronlovesyaoi.