All Comments on 'Checkmate'

What a fun tale! Good story and good writing! Hope to see more.

I agree with the first commentator,a convincing story well told,hopefully the first of many.

Great story. i do hope to see more. the characters are thought out and honest. love it!

Cute story idea. However, buy a dictionary and start with the word "homonym"; then review your story. There is also, perhaps more importantly, some lack of clarity as to location. Whose bedroom? Who spoke? Any time the reader has to go back and figure out the location or the speaker, the train of thought is broken. Don't give up, but work on the details.

-- KK in Texas

It was really easy to follow your story. It was just hot enough and just real enough, and it was so nice to have a really affectionate story for a change. Her masturbation scene didn't need any more details. Good to leave things to the imagination. The descriptions of oral sex were excellent, and I esp. liked her kissing him after his first orgasm, so he could compare tastes. I absolutely agree with how he went down on her and wouldn't stop until she pulled him away, because he wanted to really please her. Very realistic! Write more.

Great buildup, give and take among friends falling in love. Could have done without the vulgar language, but everything else was wonderful.

The fun started with "backyardbottomslash" (love it!), then "all characters are over 18 and fictional. If that makes any sense" (witty), followed by "Jack, what are you staring at?" (excellent!) At that point I knew I was in for a treat - and I was right! (although your/you're confusion always sets my teeth on edge) Chess (which will never be the same) was a brilliant device used very effectively. Better believe I'll be keeping an eye out for submissions from byb/.

AMAZING! MORE STORIES PLEASE!!!!!

Nice story I'd say, but that's just it. NICE...

Oh well :|

You have a lovely way with words.

I must say you were gifted author from day 1.... Please write more stories.....

I like to think of this story as the last chapter of "Yours". Thanks for writing!!!

Makes me feel again 16. Dankeschön.

She missed checkmate in one ?