All Comments on 'Desire of The White Wolf'

The subject of the story was good, but you need to work on the story telling alittle more. It was also alittle rushed. Keep trying though.

I didnt even read all of it because as a fan of the Sherrilyn Kenyon I just couldnt stand too see such a great book torn apart into a super short smutty story. (alliteration)

I have to agree with the other comments-this has to be the worse writing ever. Juvenile, to say the least.

I take it English is not your first language. Either go back to school and take another English class or get an editor. This story read like it was written by a 10 yr old.

and it was also complete shit

Tulane is a school, not a place. You need to work on your writing.

You need to grasp the English language, before you attempt to write another thing. omg

Choose a tense and stick with it. The constant changing tenses in this story made it unreadable. You need an editor to help you out.

So you've read Sherrylin Kenyon - Night Play - This character is Bride - looks like you took a sentence from every page of the first chapter and filled the rest up with 'tenseless' waffle.

I love it really I did I hope u make another one

This was a great story that went from 0 to 100mph in 1 page. It has so much more potential. I hope you will go back and make a novel out of this. I can't wait. Success

Overall....it was ok. To be honest it was very rushed. This could have been a really nice short series.

Slow down! What's the rush? Your writing doesn't come across as a story, it reads like an instruction manual. It's very disjointed and stilted. You need an editor but more importantly, you need to read what you write OUT LOUD! Do this several times in order to get a feel for what you've written and where to make changes and/or improvements. Good luck!