All Comments on 'Tank's Farewell'

I just want to know what happened to Crystal?

I thought that was a great story. Yeah, Crystal dropped out but in large it was outstanding. A job of this magnatude doesn't happen often and having it this good is rarer. Thank you for a very good read!

What ever happened to Crystal?

I was going to say "as usual, you have done it again" in actual fact this was nothing short of incredible, totally enthralling. Thankyou for sharing your skills with us

Mr. Scorpio: Tank's Farewell rates as a classic on Literotica. You are in the same league as Telephone Man, DG Hear, Jake Rivers, and several more. The entire theme of the story is unique, and was an extreme pleasure to read. Thank you so much for taking the time to create an original work that brought a lot of smiles. Sincerely, Prof. Ramstein

Another great story.Please keep them coming.

really great. Thanks. Maybe a few words of what happened to Crystal would have made it complete. G.Belgium

This is an outstanding story. Also a 'Thank You' to our Vets.

Scorpio, the extent of your skills is beyond my ability to describe. This story captured me and would not let me go. I kept wishing it would never end. I'm a WWII and Korea veteran, so the basic theme really grabbed my gut. Your character development was perfect. The story line showed your usual imagination and sensitivity. Your stories just get better and better. And I know I'll enjoy reading this one again in a few months, when maybe I'll need a lift. Thanks for sharing. Please keep them coming.

Scorpio you have done it again I have read most of your stories and then a lot of them over again. Thanks for this great story and keep them coming.

Outstanding story, with an obvious knowledge of Hot Springs, SD, and BHSU. The open, loving behavior of "RePete" is touching, and loving. I love his accounts.

Exceptional story full of love and human kindness. Presents people as they should be--loving, caring individuals. Keep up the good work.

thanks for the entertanment I have the same question as the firs what happen to cristal as for the last did they read the same story as the rest of us. Mike from Texas

He lived with a woman for 20+ years and with the financial windfall of Tank's death he finally get's the opportunity to leave her bitchy ass and hook up with a bunch of younger women? Nothing said about his own children and possible grandchildren, other than his words that we take at face value, that they don't care about him. So now with the help of Tank's financial legacy and do gooder ways, Pete becomes this amazing philanthropist cum saint with a harem of forever grateful women eager to shower him with their sexual gratitude 'til the end of his blessed days. I would have been more accepting of this whole scenario if there had been some background to show that Pete had always been a man of immense generosity with his family, community, etc. despite the lack of funds and less than stellar marriage. Someone always giving of his self and time other than to pay homage to his departed war buddies. Why would a man that amazing own children not want to have anything to do with him and his wife become this embittered shrew?? How could he have such ready compassion and love for these new pseudo children and not his real ones? Because they were hot, college aged girls? I wish that part could have been developed more, so that in my eyes this story could have really come across as a man getting the chance to make a difference in this world by helping others and finding romance along the way and not just the typical male fantasy of some old dude getting lucky and a supposedly much deserved (since living in a horrible, sexless marriage) opportunity to fuck a lot of younger women. Hmmmmm...wonder what would of become of poor Re-Pete if it weren't for the money? I guess no story then. Thanks for the entertainment.

The story was really great in the first three pages, then Crystal's behaviour did not seem very coherent with the initial impression after the funeral. There is no explanation about what happened to her. Finally you turned on the polygamy which is one of your favorite themes.. but not mine. In away it is as if you took two separate stories, cut a piece of each and tied them together. I kind of wish you had give the four page story with him marrying Crystal!

Thanks for writing the story....

Why leave Crystal and take her daughters away from her ?when he could have gotten her help with medical or mental help Pete sends her the 6hundred something and then gives the daughters what they want and her nothing .scorpio44a you should have checked your story for spelling errors i spotted some in it.

I agree wholehearedly with Fiona and the other comment that you deleted. Very cavalier of Pete to cut Tank's daughter out of her inheirtance and screw Tank's grandaughters. I wonder what they would think if they ever found out where Pete got his money.

I loved the story and it was a twist with what was done with Crystal. After reading some of the comments it makes you wonder if people were reading the same story. Crystal wasn't cheated out of her inheritance which was some cash and the house she made some bad choices. It would have been nice it you heard about what choice she made after Pete sent her the money she asked for but on the other hand I don't think it would have made that much of a difference in the story. Pete didn't go after the other ladies in the story they wanted him and I think the sex scenes were very tasteful and described what it is like to really make love to a woman and not just have sex. I think the story flowed well and other than Crystal being a bit of a loose end I think the story is fine without it.

Why would someone ruin a great story by fucking the children - turning it into the worst kind of incest.<P>

Sick shit and a wasted effort by someone who should know better. I invested the time to read until he fucked one daughter. You flopped his and their morals to fit your sick mind.<P>

I am sure Tank rolled over in his grave at the selfish sick asshole he entrusted with his granddaughter's and his money. Nice tribute to Tank - NOT.<P>

How disappointing and what a waste of talent.

I thought it was a great idea, but I do have a couple of reservations - like one of the previous posters, I wonder why his own children couldn't benefit somehow. There was nothing in the early part of the story to say that his own children had disowned him, or that they had done something horrendous to cause him to cut them out of his life.

And a pet peeve - I hate it when authors don't notice that they've forgotten their characters' names (Melissa [who?], and right at the end, Tina instead of Teri). Proof it properly and next time I'll give you 100%.

Bornagain: He didn’t give the daughters what they wanted; he gave them what they needed. They were not indulged and responded by becoming what they were capable of being. That’s a significant accomplishment given how damaged they were. As for Crystal, you can’t be helped unless you want to be helped. She didn’t.

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FionaVolpe: We take his word about his family because everything we saw him say and do confirmed he was a man of his word. The attitude of his wife is beautifully summed up in “Dip Shit South Dakota.” It’s a place of no importance because it has nothing to do with Pete generating income adequate to satisfy her. They raised their children, sent them to school and paid off (or nearly) their house. But it wasn’t enough for her and everything else in her opinion of him is lowered by him not making what she considers enough money. It’s amazing how a man who, in his wife’s opinion, is not making enough money can become less amusing, less intelligent, less attractive and generally less. I think this is gender specific because of the cultural norms that expect men to be the sole or primary providers. How the wife’s attitudes may have affected their children is left to our speculation, but it would not be unreasonable to infer they led to deterioration of his relationships with them, particularly if his propensity toward helping others caused his family to have less than they thought they deserved. You are correct: this was unexplored. But it may have taken a few more pages to flesh it out and I’m not sure the additional length would justify the clarification.

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The story started in 2002 (the first anniversary of Tank’s death was in 2003). That means he wasn’t “rewarded” by any of the not-really-his daughters until 7 years after they met. I think they did love him and did it for themselves and a few thousand words foreshadowing that could have made it more credible, although that is very difficult to do in first person.

It is written .."It is now 2009". And then, "when your divorce was final ? "February fourth, last year. Why?"

"Cause the twentieth of February last year Pete inherited some money." The funeral, the inherittence and the divorse took place back in 2002-2003. Am I correct ?

I remind you, in those 5-6 years the girls finished college etc.

Paying attention to some of the comments had me make some changes to the story. Crystal is no longer a mystery. Pete's children are explained. Thanks to those who gave me such good feedback.

just so we're clear, pete said he wanted to help crystal but pretty much acted like an asshole when it became obvious how much help she needed. about crystal, why did you change her character mid way through the story and why did you have her kids pretty much abandon her when she needed them? yea, i know they were raped but you made crystal extremly messed up in the head and having her own kids abandon her or at least thats what she thought prob pushed her over the edge. also, it was pretty fucked up how pete was given millions of dollars and didnt give tanks daughter or grand daughters any of it beside college and a used car which didnt actually belonged to him, they were just borrowing it. i got how tank was worried the ex might try to steal the money, but when he was in jail pete could given tanks family some of it. yea, i know a full ride to college is great, but pete still came off like a jackass and at the very least he could have given the kids money when they graduated or every year and tried to help their mother instead of saying " do what i want because i know whats best or you get nothing". also, you made it pretty clear that apparently you dont like rich people because rich people dont know how to be decent human beings. pete wasnt a sympathetic character or any kind of hero, so it made it hard to care about him, especially when you made him an asshole. not one of your better stories and i mean this because ive read quite a few and even if i didnt like the ending, i knew the actual story was good.

More please, some people do not seem to read very well, none of the children were his by birth so no incest.Crystal got all she deserved and as she went out of her way to gain her freedom she got what she deserved. Helen, Rose, Alya and Teri are the extremely lucky recipients of more love than most people can expect.

The story was very well written; not too sexy for an "Erotica" site but what little sex there was was warm and loving. Obviously written by a Heinlein fan - sounds like Lazarus Long is STILL alive. Thanks for the flashback.

After reading the comments, I noticed the ones who didn't kike this story do not understand money, wealth, and inheritance.

Reading Heinlen taught me more about economics and self respect then anyone else ( except my parents ). I let my children down by letting my wife handle the family finances the first half of our marriage.

It was well woven and very polished. It does appear that you've re-posted this after some needed edits, so I got the benefit. I'm still left wondering why his divorce took 5 years, but then mine took nearly six months and we agreed to everything before we went to the same lawyer. I really do enjoy these longer stores. Thank your for taking the time to write.

a little dis jointed in places but enjoyable and the girls all need there own stories as they will soon learn that they need companions of there own and not to share with helen

this is one the best ever .. i believe in the pass it on theory.. when i moved here i started by opening doors for the elderly and was hit by a few purses and my backside pinched ...finally i was asked why and explained one good deed can grow,,now its rare a door isnt opened by someone for someone else or a good morning or some greeting isnt said its taken 7yrs but hey its a start

If this story dosent bring a tear to your eye nothing will. Great read, well thought out and well written, interesting characters ,and good dialog . All in all a very entertaining read, keep up the good work and thanks for your time and effort. .....BH

Robert Heinlan...damn...one of the best first books I read 45 years ago. If I remember right...he even shared his body as food for his friends when he died. His thinking has controlled my own actions all my life! No wonder I love your stories!

As far as his biological children, I do believe that they disapproved of their Father as much as the former wife, didn't he say that were chips off the old block of his first wife's character?

I don't like my first wife nor her daughter, and I do not communicate with either. The first wife took everything from me and my/her's adopted daughter is worthless as a person at 40. So I understand Re Pete's feelings. If I ever inheritated money or won a lottery, they would not be at the top of my list unless they were really needy...

As a writer, you have gifts. Dialog is one. Narrative line is another: the bones of your stories are very readable. And you have some repeating themes I like reading. And others that become very predictable. But as fantasies, they work within the genre.

More disappointing, having read nearly everything you've posted as Scorpio44/a, you tend to write off some of your characters in a way that seems convenient for your protagonist but cheats (some of) your readers. For instance, the man I thought Pete was wouldn't have been so quick to cut Crystal loose. I wanted you to use your gift for dialog to show him being emotionally generous with her. It reads now as if rather than seeing her pain and fear, he tricks her into releasing him from his commitment and loyalty to Tank.

Isn't it amusing that most of the commenters that are critical to the point of being abusive make their snide remarks while showing an ignorance of grammar, the English language and a very low intellect?

Sure, there are a few "glitches" in your stories and some grammatical errors but for the most part, the stories are an excellent read. A good proofreader could greatly enhance the stories.

I am NOT a proofreader and not qualified to offer critiques. Let me just say, Thank you!

de Jay

Either their reading comprehension is low or they were too stoned when reading the story.

Since when are people of legal age considered &amp;quot;children&amp;quot;?

Crystal was given help. Better yet, she was given the freedom to make her own choices. As written, (perhaps after the revisions), &amp;quot;You can lead a horse to water but....&amp;quot;. She was headed down the sewer and her daughters were smart enough to jump off a sinking ship.

Poor Crystal. Pete is such an asshole for not giving her anything she wanted. (sarcasm implied). Crystal got a house and all the bills paid for while living in it. Then lazed around and watched soaps all day. Who died and made her queen? Yeah that Pete is a real jackass not enabling her self destructfull behavior.

Pete followed Tanks general way of showing kindness and caring with the continuation of &amp;quot;tough love&amp;quot;. Giving what was needed rather than what was wanted. Pete came into the situation when Crystal and the girls needs were changing. Instead of giving a fish, Pete taught them how to fish. All the while supplying the boat, tackle, license, etc, without requireing anything in return except learn how to fish and learn it well.

A good story. I enjoyed reading it as well as your others.

I don't have high expectations from any of the authors on Literotica. Not because there are not any good ones but because less time and effort by people other than the authors themselves like one would find with published works. Obviously Scorpio put more effort into the finished product that compliments his talent as a story writer.

Thanks very much.

A very well constructed story - one of your best. A couple of odd spelling mistakes but very minor. Characters who have nothing further to contribute drop out - thats normal. I can see no reason for Crystal to re-appear after she "wrote herself out".

No sex! but lots of very tasteful loving.

Very well done.

Scorpio44a;

From a retired Enlisted man that just missed 'Nam but went to play in the sandbox twice.

You found the link that so many miss. I will never forget my mates, it's not possible.

Freedom is never Free, It's paid for by the blood of unyielding & unknown heroes.

And doing good is far more rewarding than anything else in life.

Take Care and God Bless.

Tank,was my buddy,not his name,but he is my twin.Good people do good thing's,for the hurt and their children.No lie's, ever made by me.Inteligence prevail's above a stiffy.Help the best,attain there best.Word's can't begin the definitiion of the joy and success .A master's or PHD while expensive,is something to be proud off,and can change the life of hundred's,if not more.

I was kicked back, enjoying that lovely afterglow that I get when I've finished a really good story, and browsing through some of the comments you had received, when I read Jack Woody's remark that Pete gave people what they needed, not what they wanted. That jarred something in the back of my mind and it suddenly dawned on me that you had written a religious tract.

This is an allegory, isn't it? Re-Pete is the God figure. He has appeared at the funeral of each of the four comrades in arms. The rich man, who obviously lived a good life and would be expected to go to heaven, gave away all his wealth to help the poor and suffering. Each person was given the chance to express free will in making her life choice. The one who falls away is condemned to the outer darkness, and never seen again. The lawyer who implements Re-Pete's directives is Keys, as in the Keys to the Kingdom of God. The young women who have elected to follow the right path become Re-Pete's brides. They say that he is the first man to show them true love. He is repeatedly hailed as the best man that everybody has ever known. The sorting out of the worthy scholarship applicants is the enactment of the biblical comment, “For many are called but few are chosen.”

Now that I've figured it all out, I'm doubly impressed! I sat down to read some erotica and I stumbled onto The Gospel According to Saint Scorpio!

Yet we all took something different away from this.

The last of a group of brothers in arms, Tank, Ask his last brother to take care of his family and to provide for them. He did that by giving them each free choice as what they wanted to do with their lives. No truer words were never spoken, FREEDOM IS NOT FREE. We all must make choices in our lives that we must pay for.

IT'S called FREE CHOICE.

As for myself I have three brothers left, If I am the last, I can only hope that I act as well

ED

All the pissing and moaning about Pete not helping his own kids a little. They should know how important Tank was to Pete, yet they blew him off about attending the funeral.

I never saw where they reached out to Pete, I saw his wife/ex-wife diss him at every turn, and according to the narrative, she was the one who was the dominate person in their formative years.

If they didn't give a rip about Pete's feelings, I don't see why he should give a rip about theirs. They can thank their mother for that.

I have lived in a very similar situation in my married life, but my wife died July 1 09. My kids have been learning slowly but surely that I am not the jerk I was made out to be.

I am a bit proud of myself for writing this with out having to result to cuss words, know most of them, invented a few of my own.

for without A Tank they would be bare. TK U MLJ LV NV

After being in Nam this brought tears to my eyes.

I loved this story. I like the way you flesh out the characters. Thanks for all the work you do to bring us the entertainment of your artistic writing. Regards

i WISH THERE WAS A 6 OR 7. This is sentiment of course. Your writing of course Is 'Bella Grande'. I am having trouble finding new ways to tell you I love you. however at my age (77) I have lost much of my vocabulary.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

This is a wonderful story. In my opinion it would have been a better story without the girls getting sexually involved with the guy. That involvement moved the story from one of human kindness and respect for others into a fantasy of dealing with multiple partners and spring fall relationships. That dropped it from a great story to just a good one. Please, don't get me wrong, I have no objection to multiple partner stories as long as the sex does not detract from the story. In this case it did. I managed by simply skipping over the sex and doing a bit of mental editing as I read, but it would have been nice if I hadn't needed to. That is my opinion of course and others may see it differently.

This was a very powerful story. This guy went directly for the heart with explanations.

Freedom is definitely not free, it comes with a price. Also all our actions have consequences, both intended and unintended, and we have to live with those consequences (both good and bad). His explanation about getting pregnant being no accident what right on. I have never read where these ideas where so powerfully written. For that reason this story has been added to my favorites and I will read it often.

The only part of the story that I did not like was the sex with the 3 'daughters' or young girls. I am not a fan of the poly lifestyle. I see nothing wrong with it but it is not for me. Thank you for a real great story with wonderful ideas and concepts...that we need more of.

but most of all they honor loyalty. TK U MLJ LV NV

This is one of the best stories I've read. I realize polyamory doesn't work well in our society, but it should. Kudos for showing that love can be shared.

Great story then a whore story. scum of the earth sluts and an ASSHOLE guy. this is NOT a romance there IS NO LOVE HERE.............1 star just to vote. I dumped all your stories...

I liked it, right up until he started sleeping with the kids. I'm fairly open-minded, but that was a bit much, for me at least. Yeah it was a noble thing he did with the money he inherited from Tank, but I think old Tank just might not have liked the idea of his old buddy "Re-Pete" screwing his granddaughters. I'll still give it 3 stars, as it was a well written story.

when daddy fucked the kids it was all over for me. turned into a scum of the earth people story for me...

Two sisters graduate high school together (age/grade difference) and start college. A year later a girl who only needed a few classes graduates. Meanwhile, the romance and move-in together seems to happen almost instantly.

Also, no need to magically bring back the ex-wife (also spending money she didn't have to reach the island) just to insult her. He has more class than stuffing $5 in her bra. The ending with the "HART" ring was just fine.

I knew a Tank, maybe been one to somebody

Those girls are damaged. They need counseling. How can they carry on Tank's legacy without marriage and children. If this guy has helped them heal they need to prove it.

It is sad. One can always find someone to complain about something. Being critically negative is almost as bad as pulling out a gun and shooting someone. As a Vietnam Veteran, I know the cost of freedom. Others in the samd box do too. What one does with that freedom show their character. Sorry about those that have no character.

Fiction is enjoyable with the right attitude. What men sacrificed for our freedom is no joke.

I tend to agree with the last anonymous on this page it was a great story clear up intil he started fucking his daughters . and his integrity went out the door and soiling hanks name ! I still gave you a five liked most of the story .

This writer’s best story. The interplay with “Crystal” was very realistic.

Above & Beyond, GREAT !

Excellent at its' finest !

THANKS !

Great ! 5*..

That’s a good plot, love how you have made it giving not just how bad all people are on the take,

As normal I don’t like how everyone apart from the main character has to be poor, and then being so rich, but it’s a story.

A great story well worth my read ! Thank you Scorpio44a

A great premise ruined by a stereotypical “evil ex-wife”, and by the teen fantasy poly nonsense and topless wedding. Other than those two complaints, a good storyline.

Thanks for your time and effort writing this story. The 1st two parts were interesting, but sort of poorly written, dialogue was stiff. Started on page 3 and it got so silly, Crystal, the will, that I skipped to the ending. Glad I skipped a lot as it seemed a waste of reading time.

Excellent story but it kind of got off of the tracks in the last half...