by candylandsky
you make general statements, you don't really reveal anything personal about yourself in this poem.
"To break free of the clouds,
rip my way through
the dense fog of
the questions
the desolation
the apathy" Doesn't mean anything to me, doesn't move me in any way. Some of your word choices are incredibly plain ala 'azure' 'apathy'. The poem is just mundane and everyday, I'd say just try to say something less general next time around. Something that has lines that are wholly you, that you couldn't find in half the poems already posted on this site.