It's quite refreshing to read something off the beaten track , someone using their imagination and staying normal.
Please continue ......
by
Anonymous04/03/09
Very good story; however,
Your dialog needs to sound more natural.
"Nay, my sister, I do not consider what we consent to do wrong, not in the slightest, and I have no intention of letting anyone else know. We the rest of our lives to lead however we want, but this part is ours. This part is private."
I don't know many people who call their sister, "my sister" when talking to them.
I think instead:
"I don't think what we are wanting to do as wrong. We won't tell anyone."
Otherwise very good story!
by
Anonymous06/05/09
good so far
good so far but needs a second chapter to tell what happens next do the parents find out do they go all the way if so does she get pregnant also there should have been some background
by
Anonymous11/11/10
editor please
get agood editor and do a rewrite this was real bad the plot was good the writing stinks way to many wrong words,miss spelled words,extra words and missing words this is nothing more than a first draft and never should have been posted SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND SOME RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR BEFORE POSTING NOW DO A REWRITE
by
Anonymous06/08/13
a very good story, and...
it's by a gifted writer 18 to 22 years old, so maybe still a late teenager. The author clearly has a big hard on for his cute sister, I bet he shot a good healthy load at the end. But why, in the story, does the brother jizz all over himself. Surely, the place for him to unload his young balls and shoot his huge dose of creamy sperm is right there, between his sister's legs, her pretty little twat. A brother's big stiff cock belongs up his sister's cunt, and his sperm belongs up there too.
you wrote this 09 . I have never really like to read until this year I am intrigued with this kind of relationship I have been married once , it didn't last , tried to have a girl friend , that didn't work out either . I have read a lotttttttttttttttt of stories on here about brother and sister love for each other , I have found some true life ones .I have found that there love is more meaningful , stronger than any thing on this earth ,and they love each other with all heart and soul to end .
English
Fascinating
It's quite refreshing to read something off the beaten track , someone using their imagination and staying normal.
Please continue ......
Very good story; however,
Your dialog needs to sound more natural.
"Nay, my sister, I do not consider what we consent to do wrong, not in the slightest, and I have no intention of letting anyone else know. We the rest of our lives to lead however we want, but this part is ours. This part is private."
I don't know many people who call their sister, "my sister" when talking to them.
I think instead:
"I don't think what we are wanting to do as wrong. We won't tell anyone."
Otherwise very good story!
good so far
good so far but needs a second chapter to tell what happens next do the parents find out do they go all the way if so does she get pregnant also there should have been some background
editor please
get agood editor and do a rewrite this was real bad the plot was good the writing stinks way to many wrong words,miss spelled words,extra words and missing words this is nothing more than a first draft and never should have been posted SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND SOME RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR BEFORE POSTING NOW DO A REWRITE
a very good story, and...
it's by a gifted writer 18 to 22 years old, so maybe still a late teenager. The author clearly has a big hard on for his cute sister, I bet he shot a good healthy load at the end. But why, in the story, does the brother jizz all over himself. Surely, the place for him to unload his young balls and shoot his huge dose of creamy sperm is right there, between his sister's legs, her pretty little twat. A brother's big stiff cock belongs up his sister's cunt, and his sperm belongs up there too.
execellent
you wrote this 09 . I have never really like to read until this year I am intrigued with this kind of relationship I have been married once , it didn't last , tried to have a girl friend , that didn't work out either . I have read a lotttttttttttttttt of stories on here about brother and sister love for each other , I have found some true life ones .I have found that there love is more meaningful , stronger than any thing on this earth ,and they love each other with all heart and soul to end .
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