too quickly! I am not asking for another chapter. But the last part flashed by. Maybe you telegraphed too much and so there was not enough surprise, so I expected more commentary at the end and a bigger reaction to her reagained memory. I did like the story and enjoyed some of the development.
I liked it, but I expected more. This was way too short for what you seemed to be building up to.
The husband, Dan, was so screwed over it wasn't funny, but he never seemed to get revenge on anyone. The police, Cassie's aunt, reporters, former friends, they all got away scott free it seemed.
You did clear up the reason why she bolted before, but that doesn't explain why the guy who killed her father wasn't captured before. Was he some low level grunt who got away in the chaos of the raid, because I thought he was the leader. Maybe I'll just read it again.
Good story overall, can't wait for your nextt submission.
I found it well balanced. You never get revenge on the press. They end up always making you look worse at the next opportunity. What could be done, if Cassandra agreed,
would be to give an exclusive about the recovery of a missing person, and then maybe about how he suffered and then redeemed himself... That way, one reporter would be showing that the rest were asses. With respect to the police, I suspect that they were just doing there job as well as possible. After all they tried to buy him a pint.
Very pleasing work, Denham Forrest. Thanks!
by
Anonymous03/22/09
THIS DOG DON'T HUNT ! # 55
Absolute swill.Nonsense! Psycho -babble.People who have no knowledge of the tenets of a science should not dabble in homesy cures for serious problems such as amnesia,etc.A freshman level survey course in psychology does not serve as a sound basis for an in-depth story.In truth,such a miniscule bit of knowledge can only get you into trouble.You only have to contact the Veteran's Administration regarding amnesia cases caused by the trauma of war to appreciate the difficulties involved in remediation.The story was contrived and lacked credibility.This is an unworthy effort by a good writer.This author has great ability and we have come to expect better things of him!Ritterburg#55.
It started out with some hint of a promise, but failed miserably. Too many loose ends. How did she finally get her money? What happened to all the other key players? Did any of them pay for the [maybe illegal, if not immoral] things they did? I'll accept all the psychological part of the story as the author's license -- it is his story, to tell as he wishes -- but it is not reasonable to build up so many key players in the story, who have questionable and perhaps illegal interests, then just drop them without any explanation. Finally, I cannot imagine any man who seemed to walk on water, build up such a sucessful business, have such a promising future, then turn into a beach bum. Totally at odds with the author's development of his personality and never explained.
But the story was rushed to a conclusion so fast. With so much going on, to uncover the truth and tie up all the loose ends, this should have taken several chapters.
by
Anonymous03/22/09
what the hell!
what's all that supposed suspension about, any way? the story's freakin' uninteresting, worthy of neither author nor reader's time.
well, I guess, no matter....life does have to go on!
In chapters 1-2 I told you that amazing amounts of pressure would be brought on the husband while everyone would ignore what HE had gone through.
classis wanderer... really weak shallow plot.
by
Anonymous03/23/09
How Much More Idiotic Could Harry Be?
Most of us here know that the writers and authors who ply their craft here are not professionals or even paid - yet.
Most know that except for the insane self professed & self appointed critic from the hills of VA who never went to an english school that taught spelling. proper word use or typing or spell check. This VA idiot who dispels any credibility by his lack of communication skills proposes to be the sites voice in all things constructive is but a sad disturbed seeker of attention above all things rational.
One would think after several years of being the self appointed flag bearer of constructive thought he might by now have read his own jumbled thoughts and be embarrassed for the lack of communicative progress achieved to date.
Railing against all is still the mission without a care of anything positive must be his way of bringing low those who are better down to his level.
Grow up Harry or stay home.
The attention he seeks is anything referenced to his name and the disruptive chaos he tries to create in the guise of constructive criticism but then he couldn't spell that let alone attempt anything constructive. At least lay off the pops for legibility sake.
writers such as castlestone, the wanderer et al, have long since left this site. Those who can, DO, those who can't bitch whine and moan about the lack of content, punctuation and spelling. The so called loose ends as it were. I for one, enjoyed this story, expressly for the entertainment it gave and the route which Dan took to get back the one he so truly loved. Even though he had thoroughly given up on life. Well, without going into what I think DF meant, I did understand that payback probably was NOT foremost on Dan and Cassandra's collective mind, nor making up for lost time. Cassandra seemed to remember that Scotland was next on the agenda of an unfinished honeymoon. I hope they enjoyed it. As for the naysayers, tough shit, if you don't like this story, read some of the latest and greatest here at the LIT. Until a few months ago, I never left a comment, Four months before that, I had read NOT one single comment. SHIT, HELL,DAMN. If only... Thanks DF, wherever you are,good luck and continued success.
by
Anonymous01/05/10
Fun read
I'm not sure if it's your intimate use of the English language or the content of your stories, but, I enjoy them very much. I know you can't churn them out at will, still, I'd like to see more. Thank you for your efforts.
If anyone reads these things, I would like to say for the last hour or two, these walls in this room didn't even exist. It was some other place you allowed me to moved to in my mind. My life and problems were frozen for a while and even my own body was of no concern to me. The mind just transformed the words into the most vivid of images of all the things that were described. That is to say, all except the beer drinking to excess to forget. My own metabolism doesn't do at all well with any kind of alcohol, even if it is only skin exposure. But like this story teller, I digress from praising this and a good many other works as well. It seems to me that the author has stopped publishing or posting his work at this site. Is there another web location that might be accessed to continue with any new adventures? Thanks again.
The people who need more failed to see what you gave them -
Sure it would be fun to go to Scotland with them or whatever - see how they rebuild their lives - but the point is that is all window dressing - she is back and loves him and they move on - it is plenty.
He brought himself back then her - well done - and glad Helen got in the middle - again.
Was Cassandra's aunt, who clearly did not want Cassandra to ever regain her memory. Even if the authorities decided she was too old to prosecute, it would have been nice to see Cassandra and Dan put her away for the rest of her days in the shabbiest nursing home they could find.
Too many of this writers stories have true villains in the early part (at least by their actions) who later are reduced to somewhere between annoying and insipid.
And nothing happens to these terrible people for all the damage they have done to others.
If it is the writers intent to show that crime does in fact pay, well then so does the news, which I do not read for entertainment.
English
Ended
too quickly! I am not asking for another chapter. But the last part flashed by. Maybe you telegraphed too much and so there was not enough surprise, so I expected more commentary at the end and a bigger reaction to her reagained memory. I did like the story and enjoyed some of the development.
Agree
I liked it, but I expected more. This was way too short for what you seemed to be building up to.
The husband, Dan, was so screwed over it wasn't funny, but he never seemed to get revenge on anyone. The police, Cassie's aunt, reporters, former friends, they all got away scott free it seemed.
You did clear up the reason why she bolted before, but that doesn't explain why the guy who killed her father wasn't captured before. Was he some low level grunt who got away in the chaos of the raid, because I thought he was the leader. Maybe I'll just read it again.
Good story overall, can't wait for your nextt submission.
Fascinating story full of emotion and detail
I found it well balanced. You never get revenge on the press. They end up always making you look worse at the next opportunity. What could be done, if Cassandra agreed,
would be to give an exclusive about the recovery of a missing person, and then maybe about how he suffered and then redeemed himself... That way, one reporter would be showing that the rest were asses. With respect to the police, I suspect that they were just doing there job as well as possible. After all they tried to buy him a pint.
Very pleasing work, Denham Forrest. Thanks!
THIS DOG DON'T HUNT ! # 55
Absolute swill.Nonsense! Psycho -babble.People who have no knowledge of the tenets of a science should not dabble in homesy cures for serious problems such as amnesia,etc.A freshman level survey course in psychology does not serve as a sound basis for an in-depth story.In truth,such a miniscule bit of knowledge can only get you into trouble.You only have to contact the Veteran's Administration regarding amnesia cases caused by the trauma of war to appreciate the difficulties involved in remediation.The story was contrived and lacked credibility.This is an unworthy effort by a good writer.This author has great ability and we have come to expect better things of him!Ritterburg#55.
Didn't deliver
It started out with some hint of a promise, but failed miserably. Too many loose ends. How did she finally get her money? What happened to all the other key players? Did any of them pay for the [maybe illegal, if not immoral] things they did? I'll accept all the psychological part of the story as the author's license -- it is his story, to tell as he wishes -- but it is not reasonable to build up so many key players in the story, who have questionable and perhaps illegal interests, then just drop them without any explanation. Finally, I cannot imagine any man who seemed to walk on water, build up such a sucessful business, have such a promising future, then turn into a beach bum. Totally at odds with the author's development of his personality and never explained.
Lots of good writing
But the story was rushed to a conclusion so fast. With so much going on, to uncover the truth and tie up all the loose ends, this should have taken several chapters.
what the hell!
what's all that supposed suspension about, any way? the story's freakin' uninteresting, worthy of neither author nor reader's time.
well, I guess, no matter....life does have to go on!
I Liked This Story
Lots of twists and turns in the plot. I had read this story previously on another site and it reads just as good the second time.
I usually like your stories...
...but this one I did not. I felt it lacked a full ending and any real story of the husband and wife. As always I will still look for your stories.
Not Sure
Was this the ending? If so, were you rushed? There was very little storyline in the second half. Not up to your standards.
dont want to say I told y'all so But I did!
In chapters 1-2 I told you that amazing amounts of pressure would be brought on the husband while everyone would ignore what HE had gone through.
classis wanderer... really weak shallow plot.
How Much More Idiotic Could Harry Be?
Most of us here know that the writers and authors who ply their craft here are not professionals or even paid - yet.
Most know that except for the insane self professed & self appointed critic from the hills of VA who never went to an english school that taught spelling. proper word use or typing or spell check. This VA idiot who dispels any credibility by his lack of communication skills proposes to be the sites voice in all things constructive is but a sad disturbed seeker of attention above all things rational.
One would think after several years of being the self appointed flag bearer of constructive thought he might by now have read his own jumbled thoughts and be embarrassed for the lack of communicative progress achieved to date.
Railing against all is still the mission without a care of anything positive must be his way of bringing low those who are better down to his level.
Grow up Harry or stay home.
The attention he seeks is anything referenced to his name and the disruptive chaos he tries to create in the guise of constructive criticism but then he couldn't spell that let alone attempt anything constructive. At least lay off the pops for legibility sake.
I got to wonder, why so few comments
This story is great, deserves a lot more comments. Wish I could write like this.
It's no wonder......
writers such as castlestone, the wanderer et al, have long since left this site. Those who can, DO, those who can't bitch whine and moan about the lack of content, punctuation and spelling. The so called loose ends as it were. I for one, enjoyed this story, expressly for the entertainment it gave and the route which Dan took to get back the one he so truly loved. Even though he had thoroughly given up on life. Well, without going into what I think DF meant, I did understand that payback probably was NOT foremost on Dan and Cassandra's collective mind, nor making up for lost time. Cassandra seemed to remember that Scotland was next on the agenda of an unfinished honeymoon. I hope they enjoyed it. As for the naysayers, tough shit, if you don't like this story, read some of the latest and greatest here at the LIT. Until a few months ago, I never left a comment, Four months before that, I had read NOT one single comment. SHIT, HELL,DAMN. If only... Thanks DF, wherever you are,good luck and continued success.
Fun read
I'm not sure if it's your intimate use of the English language or the content of your stories, but, I enjoy them very much. I know you can't churn them out at will, still, I'd like to see more. Thank you for your efforts.
Life does, indeed, go on.
Where have I read that before? Thanks for a really good story/
Willful Suspension of Disbelief
An excellent story. I would have enjoyed reading more about the wicked witch of an aunt. It was nice to see a happy ending.
Thank you Denham_Forrest.
I enjoyed reading it. Damn the critics, full steam ahead.
Wow, another transport complete!
If anyone reads these things, I would like to say for the last hour or two, these walls in this room didn't even exist. It was some other place you allowed me to moved to in my mind. My life and problems were frozen for a while and even my own body was of no concern to me. The mind just transformed the words into the most vivid of images of all the things that were described. That is to say, all except the beer drinking to excess to forget. My own metabolism doesn't do at all well with any kind of alcohol, even if it is only skin exposure. But like this story teller, I digress from praising this and a good many other works as well. It seems to me that the author has stopped publishing or posting his work at this site. Is there another web location that might be accessed to continue with any new adventures? Thanks again.
Yeah Wow -
Brought tears to my eyes a couple of times -
The people who need more failed to see what you gave them -
Sure it would be fun to go to Scotland with them or whatever - see how they rebuild their lives - but the point is that is all window dressing - she is back and loves him and they move on - it is plenty.
He brought himself back then her - well done - and glad Helen got in the middle - again.
BOO,,,SCARED STRAIGHT
and back into the rat race. TK U MLJ LV NV
#2 AND NOW ITS TIME TO "BTB"
and change bitch to Bastards....Epilog please. TK U MLJ LV NV
Thanks for the read
5 Stars
Loved the story
Thanks
The real bitch in this story...
Was Cassandra's aunt, who clearly did not want Cassandra to ever regain her memory. Even if the authorities decided she was too old to prosecute, it would have been nice to see Cassandra and Dan put her away for the rest of her days in the shabbiest nursing home they could find.
thanks for writing
just too many little details that were introduced at the last minute to clear up something about which we knew nothing.
another one
Too many of this writers stories have true villains in the early part (at least by their actions) who later are reduced to somewhere between annoying and insipid.
And nothing happens to these terrible people for all the damage they have done to others.
If it is the writers intent to show that crime does in fact pay, well then so does the news, which I do not read for entertainment.
Very good
But really needed more.
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