It's a good start. No glaring grammatical or spelling errors, which is a huge plus. ;) The pacing is a bit off, though, and it felt rushed. For my tastes, I prefer a bit more description, too.
by
Anonymous04/03/09
All aboard !
You're definitely on the right track and heading in the right direction . Maybe they could try a make-believe 69 ?
This could even have parts 3 and 4 .
I enjoyed the story . . . especially because you and your sister conjured the idea up together. That made it extra hot. However, I think it would have been much more erotic if you had taken a bit more time with it. Have sis be very reluctant at first until brother finally talks her into it over the course of the story. She just agreed a bit too fast. Anyway, nice start. Let's hear more about these two.
by
Anonymous04/04/09
Ugh
A video sight? More of the same uneducated so-called writers. Site, not sight! Did you go to school or drop out?!?!?
by
Anonymous02/26/12
Camming My Sister
wow! somehow I missed this and I'm a frequent visitor. great story! And I love the picture of your sister. I wish you'd write another sequel.
English
Definitely moving in a good direction
It's a good start. No glaring grammatical or spelling errors, which is a huge plus. ;) The pacing is a bit off, though, and it felt rushed. For my tastes, I prefer a bit more description, too.
All aboard !
You're definitely on the right track and heading in the right direction . Maybe they could try a make-believe 69 ?
This could even have parts 3 and 4 .
Loved it
I would willingly take the place of your sister if she decides not to go any further.
More!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to hear more about this story. Good beginning. Keep it up (and keep on writing, too)
Interesting premise
I enjoyed the story . . . especially because you and your sister conjured the idea up together. That made it extra hot. However, I think it would have been much more erotic if you had taken a bit more time with it. Have sis be very reluctant at first until brother finally talks her into it over the course of the story. She just agreed a bit too fast. Anyway, nice start. Let's hear more about these two.
Ugh
A video sight? More of the same uneducated so-called writers. Site, not sight! Did you go to school or drop out?!?!?
Camming My Sister
wow! somehow I missed this and I'm a frequent visitor. great story! And I love the picture of your sister. I wish you'd write another sequel.
i want someone to continue dis story
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