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The Eagle Has Landed

byColonelC4©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous04/07/09

I know it's a first story but......

Think about the first rules of storytelling - you have 8 words to catch and hold your reader. Don't repeat words within a paragraph, use a Thesaurus and find a different word. Are your characters real? Do you care about them? Do they develop as the story progresses? Always read your work aloud to yourself before editing. This will show you where the repeated words and clumsy sentences are so you can change them, hopefully for the better. If you can't find an editor, get a friend to check your spelling and grammar or put your work away in a drawer for a month or so before editing.

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by PrincessErin04/08/09

Good

This was a good effort and thank you for sharing. I found there wasn't enough dialogue. Good luck in the contest.

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