by schweety
Did you mean to end it like this? It had a lot of potential but the abrupt ending killed it.
If you have written more to this already, then this was a shitty place to break for the next chapter! If not, then I think you submitted it much too soon. The whole thing is rushed, no character build up..nada! Take a little more time and develop your story more. It coulda been a good one.
Mzzie
Did you somehow accidentally submit it before you were done or did you just decide to end it wherever you wanted to? Is this a chapter story? A story should have a beginning, middle, and end; that was more of the middle. Chapters work better if you loosely follow that same format while keeping it in the context of the story.
Think of it like TV shows, where one season is telling a story using each episode as a chapter. You don't usually see a show end the episode right in the middle of an action scene, which is what you did here. So, next time, keep that in mind. It had a promising start, just keep going.
can you add more to it? becuase it's great up to here but then it just stops....
A rather detailed and interesting beginning and then it just ends? What happened?
Are you joking? This is where it ends? Show the rest of the fucking, please. :)
I like the start of the story but it ends just when it's getting good.
It feels unfinshed. It is the beginning of a good tale but the middle and end of the story are missing.
Left me wanting.
Would love for there to be a second part!