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Does not get my vote.
I have total sympathy for any woman who suffers rape, and to become pregnant as a result is a tragic dilema. That does not obscure the fact that most unwanted pregnancies result from poor sex education and a lack of contraception. A far better solution would be to prevent the problem. I also think that his would have wider benefits given the current and growing overpopulation of humans on the planet. We will shortly have to start making hard choices as to who survives. I think preventing unwanted pregnancies is one of the easy ones. -- UK CYNIC
Bravo
Placing a child for adoption is arguably the most difficult decision a woman can ever make in her entire life. I have dealt with adoption issue from both sides, as an adoptive parent and subsequently as the father of a birthmother; my grandchild was placed for adoption. While "Anonymous in Scotland" has the right to debate the issues of morality, lack of education, overpopulation, etc, I respectfully propose that this article is NOT the forum for that. This article lauds the decision of a birth mother, regardless of "why" she became pregnant, to carry the child to full term, and by her selfless act, to provide a far better life for the child than she can provide at that time. And let's not lose sight of the adoptive parents - I can speak firsthand of the joy of finally becoming a parent. So it was by adoption? Big deal - I couldn't love my adopted child any more than if she carried my DNA. She is my daughter, first and foremost, and now that she is a "birthmother", well it's just yet another example of what a special person she is. I am proud to be her dad.
Thank you for this article, Denise.
Adopted and proud of it!
I love your story. I was placed for adoption. In my case, my biological father knew about me and helped with the adoption process.
I have recently met my birth mother a few months ago and we have a good relationship. Which I feel very blessed for, because when you look for a birth parent, you don't know what to expect, (at least I didn't and I was afraid of bringing up bad memories.) I am thankful she did what was best for me and that she has had a good life. I have 2 half brother's that rock.
On this note, let me say that the family that adopted me is my real family to me. They come first in my life.
I love all of my family.
Thank you for writing this.
I
Was adopted as was my brother, different familes at different times and loved my parents. Never had any desire to meet my birth mother or father, nor does my brother.
Thank you!
I was given up for adoption at birth and lived in an orphanage in South Vietnam until I was placed with an American family just after my first birthday. I grew up in the United States and think of no one other than my adoptive parents as "Mom" and "Dad".
Still, I have nothing but gratitude to my birth mother for carrying me to term and knowing that in giving me up, she was giving me the chance for a better life than I probably could have had growing up in a war-torn third world country that is notoriously intolerant of interracial children.
I have known mothers who have given their children up for adoption (for a variety of reasons) and I have known mothers and fathers who have adopted children, and I can think of no greater gift a mother can give her child than a family who will love and raise that baby if she is not able to give him or her the life that baby deserves.
Thank you, too.
As a middleaged male, perhaps my comments are skewed, but I want to express appreciation for your essay. I wish that it would be printed widely and discussed openly. It is rare but not unheard of to read things here that touch an individual heart.
Thank for your courage and your clarity of vision.
Eh.
I was adopted as a baby. My parents told me early. I didn't find any specific details until later in life through other means. My mother gave me up for adoption, then had two other children over a course of time, who she kept, and passed away. I can honestly say, without a hint of angst or honesty, that the world would be little different were I aborted. I'm big on choice, but it should be educated choice, as I'm also big on being true to oneself. I do not believe that all people who give up their children for adoption should be celebrated for it. I'm sure for many the decision is full of sorrow, but for some it is just a logical choice, for some the choice is made for them, and for some it's as simple as closing the door after you've passed through, and not looking back.
Does this ever open up a can of worms.
If we omit why any woman got pregnant then the question is does the mother raise the child or does she eliminate it from her life. In most cases the mother gives up the child for two basic reasons, she cant afford to raise the child or she is not ready to raise a child under the circumstances she is in. In both cases arguments can be raised pro and con about having given up the child. Go back a few years to girls being whisked off to distant relatives to have the child them come home childless to pretent she never was pregnant so she can marry well. Wow, care to tell me about the mindsets and ethics of those folks? Then you come to children having children and what the Scottish folk said below. I guess this article is about a 13 yo girl going on dates and getting ridden well then having one pop out. She is still in school and cant afford to have a child so her parents have her put the child up for adoption. We should celebrate this birthmother? Wow all that really needed to have happened here is for the girl to have been put on birth control you cant control the type person you are dealing with but you can control birth. I see only one type of birthmother that I figure I could celebrate over, the one who was actually raped by no choice or action of her own and who for reasonable reasons chose to carry the bastard to birth and then gives it up for adoption. Sorry folks I cant condone anyone using adoption as effective birth control and making stupid decisions that caused the pregnancy in the first place. Remember if you stick your hand in the fire it is going to be burned and the scarring stays there to help you remember. I am not heartless, no child deserves to be brought into the world and forced, due to its mothers choices, to live in poverty or abuse. Someone says people make mistakes, think about airplane pilots, norally if you make a mistake you die period.
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