All Comments on 'June Jazz'

by submissiverose

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  • 2 Comments
bflagsstbflagsstalmost 15 years ago
your best of the day

sax solo is harmful to the poem. there's some good rhyming with the rouge, but the initial rhyming is pretty rudimentary. Since it's jazz you can always switch between form. I'd work more on making it more personal, more detail about you and your partner, something that feels brand new instead of general erotic encounter.

SilverSlurper38SilverSlurper38over 8 years ago
hypnotic

This poem had a hypnotic trance effect. The cascade of words resonate and encompass the harmony of their relationship.

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