What Would You Do Now? Ch. 02

Get an editor!

Some distracting errors that a good editor would have caught. This is your story and your characters. I would not have been as forgiving, especially as you listed all the things she did to him: half of the money. Better the grandson get it all. I would have also said to her, if you had a problem WE could have gone to the doctor to see the alternative medication which really does exist along with those helpful blue pills.

sir good story fuck the editor.

write story your way.

Needs an editor

& I couldn't have let her get out with her head held up. I just would have had to make it as public & painful as possible so her employer would have had to be shown that at least I didn't think looking the other way was a laughing matter.

I liked it

Wish there was a little bit known about Jenny though. Did she ever truly repent.

Plot would only make sense to an idiot

After 30 years of marriage your wife cuckolds and publicly humiliates you by publicly screwing a guy from work. But now caught she claims she loves only you. You divorce her, but give her a pass by gratuitously sharing millions of dollars with her and by not suing her boyfriend or her work thereby NOT dragging her through the mud. She shows her gratitude and repays your former love and recent more than kind gestures NOT BY MAKING ANY OVERTURES OF KINDNESS TO YOU, but rather by now physically moving in with the other guy for a time however short. How dose this act, effectively thumbing her nose at William, not prove her actions were initially intentionally malicious and her as being a world class asshole to have begun with? WHY?? Why would you show her ANY kindness, give a jerk like her ANY money, not destroy ALL of these empty shell's of human debris? At some point did author acknowledge that William realizes that all of the other main characters are lying to and/or using him and he just goes postal?

Plot would only make sense to an idiot

After 30 years of marriage your wife cuckolds and publicly humiliates you by publicly screwing a guy from work. But now caught she claims she loves only you. You divorce her, but give her a pass by gratuitously sharing millions of dollars with her and by not suing her boyfriend or her work thereby NOT dragging her through the mud. She shows her gratitude and repays your former love and recent more than kind gestures NOT BY MAKING ANY OVERTURES OF KINDNESS TO YOU, but rather by now physically moving in with the other guy for a time however short. How dose this act, effectively thumbing her nose at William, not prove her actions were initially intentionally malicious and her as being a world class asshole to have begun with? WHY?? Why would you show her ANY kindness, give a jerk like her ANY money, not destroy ALL of these empty shell's of human debris? At some point did author acknowledge that William realizes that all of the other main characters are lying to and/or using him and he just goes postal?

Pretty Good

He was a semi-wimp. Why give her anything more than a pittance? Why keep it quiet and avoid causing her the public humiliation it caused him? By being a generous wimp, his slut wife and lover enjoyed many additional laughs at his expense. I'm sure Jenny dumped Henry for a newer younger stud, cause a slut with money is a friend to all mankind, and at $50-$60(?) thou a year I’m sure Jenny is able to salve her conscious.

I will answer your question about an editor first.

There are a couple of things you can do. One is simply asking a writer if they will look at your work. It can be anybody that you feel can help you with your story. I would suggest however that you ask someone who you would think is on the same wave length as you. There is no point asking someone who just writes about BDSM or Incest stories, if you then ask them to help you with a loving wife story. But go to the forum section of this site and go to the various subheadings you will find lots of writers who will want to help you. As for the story? Well you will please some people and upset others you showed kindness to a cheating wife. That doesn't go down well in the loving wife section. But you did divorce her and you did get your problem fixed. And most importantly you lived well. That is what most readers like to her. Yes more could have been done to the ex-wife. And I agree that when she moved into Henry's house that confirmed that she didn't love you, or at least love you enough to stay with you. Anyway you will get good and bad comments I suggest you take advice from both sections. Finally nice try this is very good for a first time story. I hope to see more from you in the future.

Regards GW

Sorry your main character ended the story as a

stupid used up wimp of a man. She had her fun and then he paid her for it. She was a whore at work and both the job and her coworkers profited from it, you could have destroyed her lover and her by having them fired and gotten a good settlement from the company. Besides that other employees were doing the same thing your slut did and fucking around at work, this would have stopped with a suit at the company. The slut deserved no money, that was a very stupid act, it simply financed her sexual freedom to be a whore. And if you are giving where a free 50K a year why worry about her being fired? I agree with financing your new home and paying for a bit of fluff to decorate your arm. Myself, I didnt pay for the fluff, I just got a new piece every two or three months and they were happy for a chance to ride in a Mercedes and go about town paying for it by riding me every chance they got. Some were never married some were divorced all were educated and had good jobs. Pieces of tail are like water ooming out of the faucet, as long as the pump works the tail keeps coming. When one got serious, she was history and the new kept me going. After about thirty of them I found one that wanted me for the rest of her life and convinced me that she could and would do anything I needed just to be with me. Turned out she was my soulmate, and years later we are still together and even more in love and she is only 21 years younger than I. Love is where you find it and the bitch in this story didnt really love her husband at all, he was just her security blanket to come home to.

Not Realistic Story

What percent of the population wins the lottery each year?
What percent of married couples get past an affair each year and what per cent break up over it? My bet is that both of the last two numbers are much larger than the first!

When commentators say that the behaviour of principal or the plot is unrealistic, they really are saying that they do not even care to think about the possibility that they might do something like that! Nothing to do with the quality of the story!

Thanks for an interesting effort. Good luck in the future.

Good first effort

Don't let the naysayers bother you. You did some corrections in part 2 and came to closure. You know the old line "if you can't write become a critic."

If you are serious about working on your skills, get an editor, the criticism is easier to take. Hang in there.

Better second chapter . . .

Agree with others this needs an editor, but the second chapter did a fair job of wrapping things up. I'm not sure I would have been so generous or honorable as to give a betraying ex 1/2 of my lottery but maybe one could look at this another way. Her health insurance (and it's still not clear why he does not have Veteran's benefits with the VA Hospital, for free medical care) is what may have kept William alive long enough to win the lottery. Without that, he would have won nothing. Further, had he died sooner, she would have been free to have as many "affairs" as she wished, so she obviously did care for William despite her betrayal. Basically she had a companion with whom she got along for many years, but she got the hots for some adventure on one of her business trips. The sad thing is that she did not love William enough to communicate her needs to him; i.e., some role play, some variety, some Viagra, whatever. Instead she chose to cheat, and many times the cheater gets caught. Henry was truly stupid to fool around in front of William; most sexual predators (and clearly, that's how Henry was portrayed -- he really had a lot of "attitude") would be discrete and give no hint to the cuckolded husband. Henry all but rubbed it in William's face with his overt touching and commentary; it's as if he was daring William to do anything about it. I think he got what he deserved but as is often the case, the woman (Jenny) gets punished less. Maybe someone would be interested in exploring this cultural phenomenon in a story or three. Just look at the female teachers who have seduced male students and compare their punishments to what male teachers receive after doing such to underage female students and it becomes obvious there is no equality in this society.

Works For Me!

Don't think I would have split the money but the rest I am O.K. with. She trashed the marriage so move on and live well, always the best revenge. Thanks and keep writing.

Interesting - although it is fiction ........

The plot was fair. The male character most likely made a bad decision to give the slut wife half of the winnings [99% of the real male population would not have = fiction]. The story did show how "self-centered" this whore became over time as this serves as a basis for many of these "slut wife / wimp husband" stories. Observation - why would he not sue the company & Henry if he knew he was going to give her half anyway? Her public humiliation would have been justified and logical. Once again, the ex-wife got off very easy and with lots of money to boot. Oh, well - sometime these cases go that way.

Hummm

I like the story,,, But an ole Seal would have Never Allowed to go as it did...

I would suggest you take the subject matter and resturcture...

What If

OK, here's an What If. What if she had told him she needed some real sex? There are several things available to help in such a situration of not being able to maintain an erection. What if he had explained to his doctor about his lack of an erection and that it was effecting his marriage? What if he had gone for therapy and counceling?
What she did was difficult to accept, but could have been worked out IF both of them had wanted to. Over 30 years is a long time to share with someone and not try to work out this. Might have worked, might not. Who knows?

You chose the high road

I'm usually one that sits on the fence when it comes to the "burn the bitch" crowd. I can often appreciate mitigating circumstances or profound emotions as long as everything corresponds logically. I cannot logically rationalize the consequences that Jenny received for her public infidelity. I believe this case deserves the low road for two reasons. First, the timeline suggests that Jenny broke the marital contract in spirit before William's lottery win, so she deserves none of his windfall. Some may argue that she has a claim their marriage remains de facto in effect when the lottery draw occurs. Irrespective of what romantics believe, a marriage contract fundamentally invokes a business partnership. When one partner egregiously breaks the agreement, the agreement becomes null and void in spirit, while it may take time to dissolve the partnership legally. Second, the recent public humiliation cannot be negated by 30 years of "good to wonderful" marriage. Some sentimentalists may believe that Jenny deserves a reward for 30 good years. But one cannot forget that William must endure public ridicule, contempt, or pity from his community unless he moves away. Jenny has foisted a reputation of being a cuckold upon him at no fault of his own. She has done nothing to deserve any future financial security after sullying William's reputation. His community cannot and will not appreciate those 30 good years. I would have liked that Henry and the company received more discomfort. Henry particularly by virtue of his attitude. The company got a pass for not suppressing unprofessional behavior.

Congratulations!

Congratulations on your story,so sad and so real. I think the couple may get back together. 30 years of happiness as a background-he's virile again. If we hear no more from them,so be it. Keep writing,get an editor and enjoy your work.You will be good at it because of your deep feelings.

An improvement over the first chapter

Clearly the lottery win’s function was to allow the husband to get out of his financial dependency AND stay magnanimous -I guess the author felt that the plot so far somehow called for such a behavior on his part. I have to confess that the reasons elude me (and I believe most others who responded so far to this chapter) the way I see it, the husband’s generosity is misplaced. Instead, it amounts to a huge reward for a terrible act of betrayal which is rooted in much longer span of years -as the husband himself explains!
Which leads me to my other reservations. The lottery win was in my mind overkill and a bad fit for this story. All the measures which the husband considers and immediately dismisses (suing the work place, causing the lovers to loose their jobs) would have been most appropriate and most a -propos per the wife and her lover’s behavior and even per the husband’s own main grievance (using the work place as their love –nest). Let them both be fired let them both find a new job. Let the company which did not discourage this kind of culture from taking root in it – pay the full price for breaching the trust society implicitly puts on the common work place to maintain acceptable and safe work conditions (it’s a common place nowadays).
I see the husband’s explanations of his decision to divorce his wife as perhaps the highest point of this story. It amounts to a series of insightful of the true nature of his wife’s attitude and motivation towards him. It also constitutes a very damning indictment of the wife as a person and as a spouse. He notes that on top of being ungrateful, she has been selfish and dishonest as she made up the excuses of ‘feeling lonely and unloved’ as her ‘reasons for her affair. Instead, he claims that he gave her 30 years of full devotion, love loyalty and full attention. There was no place or reason for her to feel lonely or unloved by him. With regard to her additional claim of unmet sexual needs, she could have approached him, and openly discuss her unmet needs in order to try and find solutions together.
Currently, as she is asking to ‘go back to the way things were’ she demonstrates the continuation of her self serving behavior . It’s not a true concern or a wish for his or their well being as a couple which she conveys (or else she would have taken care of her affair before being caught). It’s simply the convenience of the early status quo which she enjoyed and now seeking to restore, plus her effort to do damage control once she was exposed.
Still, the worst part is her apparent lack of any true remorse (as opposed to being sorry for being caught) for her affair which is the worst part he has discovered about her. It exposed her shallowness and her lack of ability for true compassion and ultimately the dubious quality of what she calls her “love” to him.
In light of the above grave incitements of her behaviors, feelings, motivation and character – which all MUST HAVE STARTED way beyond the last year or two of the marriage, I can only speculate why the husband would choose to ignore the obvious and logical conclusion to his own observations.

Yes it did offer some closure

But it wasn't about money. I would have still seud the company. I would have made all the co workers get fired and the company would start monitoring their meetings more. They were responsible. Glad Henry ran in to so much trouble another story about them later on would be goodNYMINUS

Respect ypir readers!

You lost 50 percent because of the terrible writing. Not having an editor is no excuse for not carefully proof reading your own work, YOU SHOULDN'T NEED AN EDITOR TO CATCH SLOPPY AND CARELESS WRITING. As far as the story goes, it was above average but nothing to draw me back to your work if you continue with the slop.

Reasonable Ending.

I liked the ending, it was reasonable. You gave your 50% share of lottery money shows your kindness. Many will not agree with it, BUT don't forget we are human being & not animals. The story was a good entertainment especially the first part with all the comments. Well, keep writing & good luck for your future project.

Good story

I don't know where all of these so called editors are to be found, but they just don't grow on trees.It hard to find someone to edit your work. I think that the author done well with his story, and if some of the commentators feel that he needs an editor, then volunteer to help instead of being so pious and complain about the work.I enjoyed the story and didn't find anything wrong with the writing. Thanks ........Rich

Don't stop

writing because of a few rude reader comments. Too many of these readers are often closed-minded and inconsiderate.

You show real potential, and I hope you realize that potential.

Why is it, though, that these husbands are so willing to throw away 30 or more good years because of one, albeit a big one, offense.

This business of not being able to get over the hurt (without, of course, seeking any professional help) just screams of the husband's weakness and lack of dedication to the marriage.

There seems never to be any attempt to learn whether there is some mental, emotional, or physical problem underlying the offense. There's just the knee-jerk reaction of divorce.

Such stories don't ring true to a confident, secure reader. Maybe the majority of Literotica readers want that, though.

Keep up your good work.

Rich

An Outstanding First Story!

The root of the problem was jenny's lack of respect for William. She had so little respect for him that she could not keep her affair out of the workplace (aren't there motels since they were getting together quarterly or once a month?). Then she gets with her lover under the same roof as Wllliam and promises to get back together with him later after she puts Wllliam to bed. Lastly, she was not sorry about what she did only that she was caught. I really do not understand those commenters who say what is the big deal - she made a mistake- take her back. William could have taken her back but it does not change the problem in the marriage. The problem is Jenny felt that she deserved to have her extramartial dick and William too. Since she was not sorry it was only a matter of time before she strayed again. Except next time she would expect William to get over it since he could not perform to her satisfaction.
Anyway, thanks for a excellent story.

shitty writing

grammar, spelling, and sentence structure are awful!

more

An interesting sequel. I'll now read the rest. You could use some editing help. It is not always easy to spot your own errors. If you wish, look up my profile. I have done some editing before, and would be willing to try.

I look foward to watching your skills improve

It is good enough for a new guy. Take it seriously and I am sure we will enjoy watching your growth and improvement. anon jerry

You tried to rescue the wimp but didnt succeed.

Yes he fucked up assholes marriage and got him busted up great. What was done to the slut wife? Yeah he divorced her but gave her millions, great revenge and equalizing. They both needed to have been fired and company busted as a corpoation who hired whores to service personnel. Sor turning the cheek only gives the other guy something else to beat up. And what 40yo man in good health goes out looking to fuck 60 yo women? None that are mentally healthy. Nothing was said in the story about medical issues and HIV testing. A major shortcoming after all she willing exposed her spouse to medical risk that were not even considered.

oh?

oh? the bitch got half! wimp!

Missing words:

incomplete sentences and wimpy writing and attitude.
Wife fucks around and gets millions. Poor revenge which is truly called for. Dint rough her up but let her know she will have to continue to work to support herself for the rest of her life while you live it up.

7 years!

The idiot can't sustain an erection and does not demand that his doctor fix the problem? This is the 21st century. Sue the wife's company? Hell, he should have sued his so called doctor. Of course, he drank like a fish even before he knew about the affair. What a dummy.

what about viagra u clown and y give money to a slut to spend on toyboys are u real

but why not?

She has those lottery money and so what if she loses he job. Sue the company and get more money and revenge against jenny and her lover.
No need to hold back.

Nice and clean 0-

And we even agreed - cool - rofl -

Dwornick - why on earth would you read chapter 2 after knowing it was about old folks and you would only grade it 1 star??? - self loathing?

Thanks

For sharing on to chapter 3.

Interesting tale

This chapter was so short, I wonder about the motivation. He decided what he would do now, I guess. Very little emotional development, though.
Although the story is abrupt, I still enjoyed it.
I didn't get three things. First, 7 or 8 years of disabling erectile dysfunction, and never going to the doctor to check on it? Second, the wife cheats-I get that. I will accept that it started with dancing and flirting and whatnot at these quarterly get-aways with this younger married co-worker. That shit can happen, especially with the husband's medical/sexual problem. In some ways, it was the perfect situation for the wife-the hubby doesn't go to the quarterly events, she doesn't work with the other man on a day-to-day basis, it is not so frequent that maybe the affair can seem "outside" or "other than" the marriage. But, to continue it in such a public manner around co-workers seems improbable, and false to the woman's motivations. Third, the other man moves in with the wife after his divorce for a couple of months? B.S. She would have hated the guy, at some level, and he would have hated her. They did not have an emotional relationship-only a sexual one. He was described as a nice looking guy, 40-45 years old. Even if wife was a hot little number, in great shape, etc., she was still over 60 years old. She was good enough for a little side-action once in a while, but would not have been his choice as a girlfriend. Plus, I would think the wife would have been too broken up about the divorce than to shack up with anyone, especially this asshole. Shacking up with him would be salt in hubby's wounds-if she had any hope of reconciliation...well, I just don't see it. In addition, I was under the impression the guy was from another branch in another area. He didn't lose his job, so why did he suddenly end up in the same area as the ex-wife? I think that plot device was improbable, and served no purpose-except to make the wife seem more vile and pathetic-which I don't think was the intention.

this is a fucked up wimp husband with a pussies streak running down his cuckold back

he won the lotto, why give the bitch anything...the honorable thing to do would be put that bitch sleep, like you would kill an infested dog. Then after you give her the money she moves the asshole in, the husband was a fucking moron.

hates fags but

loves to get butt-fucked, what a weirdo... go back ---> to Gay Male butt-winkle!

Nice

He followed my advice. Good man.
But why is there a chapter 3?

Makes no sense.

Lottery winners must be 18 - grandson apparently is not; win could not be put in his name.
No one would lend $2 million on a win that WASN'T HIS... either it was in his name or it wasn't.
He cannot split with the ex wife now, and he cannot receive money from his son or grandson without incurring gift tax on the amount exceeding the gift limit... I think it's like $13k now.
I enjoy most of your writing, woodmanone, but this one has some loose ends.

how fucked up can he be?

she fucks around on him and he shares his lottery winnings with her plus does not sue her company because he did not want her to lose her job??? What kind of wimpish shit is this?

Ok

Too many grammatical errors kept getting in the way of the story. Even though the first was short, the wife had some depth to her character. That seemed to be completely abandoned in this segment. She didn't contest it, moved in with Henry. I guess the 30 good years were just a lie as well.

ANOTHER FUCKING ENGLISH TEACHER!!!

You are one of the best writers on this site. You spin a tale that is always entertaining. That crack about grammatical errors is merely spite on their part because you can tell a story and they don't have a clue.

love the ending

You need an editor.

Excellent

He dumped the cheating skank disrespecting cunt whore wife. Perfect ending.

What an idiot.

Why would you share the winnings? That was the most implausible thing EVER written. Regardless of the years together, she cheated on you without remorse. And after the divorce you should have gone after her, Henry and their employer. Next time, grow a pair.

Consequences are not vindictive

If there were grounds to sue the wife's lover and employer, he should have done so. If they lost their jobs that's too bad for them, but actions have consequences. And yeah, he shouldn't have shared the lottery winnings. Give her half to the children and grandchildren. They'll probably see to it that she doesn't starve or lose her home, but it would be a constant reminder of what she had lost every time they helped her out.

meh

no satisfaction
or resolution

oversimplification abounds

Good ending

Good end, except that the money handling was stupid. He should have gotten the divorce, then quietly collected the money. He could have put the money in a non profit corporation or a family trust. Not in one kids name. Then he could have drawn off interest on the dividend from the investment!