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English
Love it!
Such a great story! Will be looking out for more!
I'm Loving it....
Absolutely beautiful story. Looking forward for the next one.
I like your story, it's not very exciting yet...
I like your story, it's not very exciting yet though.
It is clear that you are writing for the short attention span club. I'm grumbling about how short the chapters are, but grinning a little as I do.
Seriously, as close together as the chapter breaks are you have time to develop the characters or the story much before the chapter break disrupts the story.
I am going to read the next chapter.
-- srgeek --
Alright
I've read 4 chapters now so i just want to say that you are a more than competent writer but not a good storyteller.
What is it you want me to know about your characters? Why should i care?
If character is revealed in conflict and actions, then it's no wonder that Jake is the one i feel the most interest in. He's the only character that you've made 3-D even if it was only my accident.
I know how he feels about friendship, loyalty..I know he's brave and protective, etc.
i'll be on the lookout for other stories by you.
All the best!
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