All Comments on 'The Tight Bikini'

Lots of fast moving action and horny characters; aside from some errors in grammar, well written as well.

sick!!

The writing is fast paced and very exciting, only change I would have mad would have been for the uncle and father to tone it down a bit with the filthy talk and ease her transition. Not like she's a three dollar crack whore...

and very fast paced.

wtf thats just messed up WTF is wrong with you ppl searching this up.

Is the wife cheating? Is that why he ain't gettin none>

I can't imagine what you imagine.

Great story of family incest , well written .

It's probably only me but I don't like calling someone you love and want to fuck stupid a Whore and a Slut. Just two words I can't stand . There are lots of other thing to say and call your lover.

Good read tho , carry on writing !!

I have a bit of constructive criticism. If is not important to tell people ages in a story as long as you are not specifically talking about people of a certain age. An 18 year old is not a child. They are considered an adult in every country that I know of. Another thing that you. might do is clean up the vocabulary. By that, I mean use words that would be used in the country you are trying to portray. In the U.S., where this story is supposed to take place, we spell words differently than europeans do. The most common ones are words that we spell with "or instead of our". Words like flavor, favorite are to that come to mind. Another is whilst. Although that might be a word that is used in some countries, it is never used in American English. These are all minor but if fixed, will make your writings more pleasing to read.