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English
Not bad...
This wasn't too bad, but is in need of an editor. There's a lot of punctuation, most specifically missing quotation marks, that need to be fixed. Also, if you're going to use numbers, spell them out unless you're describing a sign on a business or something like that. It flows much better. Same with "et cetera". People don't say "etc", but they do say et cetera. I know it's faster to type the numbers, but the story will work better if you write them out. Lisa and Jonah were good characters, and I thought you portrayed their situation well.
Not Bad--Good
Unlike PennLady I'm not looking for literary excellence. Just a good story from one of my favorite authors--and this one fits the bill. Nice addition to your collection Dee.
Nice
A nice story with believable characters and situations. And some fine erotic imagery also.
More
YOu gonna contnue this Hope so
Nice "Erotic Coupling" story
not really a romance...
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