All Comments on 'Little Sister Squirt'

by elguaton

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  • 17 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Crap

Ditto

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Continue

This is a great story to get your rocks off, continue please? Maybe her sister is just as wet and willing to take it anywhere anytime?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
sound like a dice clay story

this sound like a andrew dice clay story. i started to read it and just went into his type of voice.

EldridgeinOOEldridgeinOOalmost 15 years ago
Technically great, but does need some work

Editing and writing wise, your story is excellent, but there's not a lot of... story. <p>

I find it hard to relate to a sex story when I either don't know or don't care about the characters. The main character is a gigantic asshole, and you know absolutely nothing about Squirt, except that for some unknown reason, she wants to sucks the asshole's cock? <p>

You're also building up a lot of allusions to Carla seeing what's happening or finding out, but that never pays off. <p>

Work on the story aspect and you'd be well on your way to being an excellent erotic writer. Like I said earlier, your writing is technically very good. <p>

Good luck on your future stories!

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
umm

were's the rest?

Kyoketsu_ShogeKyoketsu_Shogeover 13 years ago
Well I very much appreciate this story

I have to say, I expected alot coming in, and you sure did pay off. Although you mightve kept going a bit further, ro came through on some allusions you made early on.

In any rehards, the story sounded like it was narrated by John Marston. But then, I call em like I see em.

elguatonelguatonalmost 13 years agoAuthor
thanks for the comments

thanks for the comments everybody -- and keep in mind, it is just meant to be a "persona" narrating.

as for why squirt hooks up with the asshole, i was sort of thinking it had to do with some sibling rivalry / being attracted to assholes issues.

and there is no more of the story, but thank you for asking.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Very Nice.

Very nice indeed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
part 2?

I expect to see the story when you suck her off!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
This sucked

GAYY

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

A note to the author: the majority of people who read erotica are women. If you don't want them to hate you or your story, don't start by having the main character describing his lover as basically an ugly chick who's somewhat more interesting than the palm of his hand. It makes him an unsympathetic pig.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Fuck Em' Keep Writing.

Actually, the ages are off but I'm gonna guess that's on purpose but this happened to me when I was 18 not word for word but I was fucking a girl my body's an I called "butter face" cus well she was bangin but her face was fucked lol had a but of a over bite, looked like a mouse but i would've never taken her anywhere. I ended up getting bored with it after about a month an I noticed her younger sister was aways watching me when I came over so I cought up with her when she was walking home one day an after afew words an odd moments she walked over to my place an I she jumped on it so quick it wasn't funny but she honestly wasn't an good but she made up for it in her tiny lil frame an it felt so good to fucking her I still remember her how hard her hands were gripping the blanket. I thought it was good, a lot more honest or atleast came off that way then most of the stories in here. (Should've fucked her tho lol, nothing ends well when it ends with just getting head) an we both know the ugly ***** mad at your story has been dogged out so many times lmao.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
where's the rest?

U gna continue or not?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
No

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no ko

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago

Disgusting. Meanwhile, it explains everything wrong in this world. It's this very kind of thing that should be illegal and is certainly completely immoral. Men that think like this scum need to be out down. They're dangerous to women. You're bigger than us. You're supposed to protect us. Not use us like trash. You should be ashamed. You don't even realize how ashamed you should be. How can this still be happening?! RESPECT women, you scumbags. This is how you want your sister and your mother treated?! Assholes like this need to be burned alive.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
author should find something better to do

that attempt to write sick stories like this one

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
This better be completely fictional

Because this way of thinking about girls is disgusting. They're not sex dolls.

Anonymous
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