All Comments on 'Our Trip'

by bassbelly

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  • 33 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
eh

it was one of the best stories ever... until the last paragraph, ruined the whole thing... ugh.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Huh?

Did you just stop trying or something? Who wants to read a story that ends like that? It made absolutely no sense.

*Confused*...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
What did you expect?

It did not start as a "love story" so why should it end that way. It just started and ended the same way. Good ending!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Well written, historically unbelievable

1950's: braless? I don't think so. Bras were required armaments then. No condoms? I don't think so.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Too bad you had to be somewhere!

Nice story, but it has no ending. Too many inconsistancies with how things were in the 50's. No bra! Yeh, right! Take your blouse off in the back seat with your brother there - yeh, right! I know, it's probably fiction, but at least make it believable.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Not at all.!

This is one story you could have left on the drawing board and forgot about as this is not like you at all.!! You are one of my favorite writers - but you have just hit a bump in the road. Go back to your style that you know and that we are used to.! Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
babies?

I like the story, even tho there was a lot of inconsistencies. I was really dissapointed when the baby talk came in.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Keep trying

This was not well written at all, but I think you should keep trying. The writing lost me almost from the beginning, but I forced myself to read through it. The story was interesting, but you need to practice more or perhaps take some writing classes. Keep at it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Babies???

The whole story was awesome until,

well... the whole "BABY", talk came in.

I mean you would fuck right, but

have children???

now that's wrong!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
What???

I really don't get your point. In the whole story the sister tells him she loves him. She also tells him to make her prgnnt. Either she is a horny bitch who only want one thing, fucking ; or the brother is the biggest fool or may be i am who read this story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Cum Slut

There should have been some romnce in the beginning. You didn't give them a reason for the heat other than they were horney. The ending was a real letdown. He went back to school and she picked up another dick to fuck. At that point you turned her into a slutty whore. A real let down at the end.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
great story

great story just love brother and sister stories

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
typical

typical for this site you start a good story and ruin it at the end what a waste of time

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
no way

no guy that had his sister keep telling him how much she loved him and then just up and ran off with some asswipe would ever think about getting married atleast not for 15-20 years don't quit your day job this sucked big time

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago

Dude.. You had it going really, really well. I tend to come here to live out fantasies that I can't in real life with my sister whom I'm in love with. And good god, that was a wonderful story with an absolute shit ending.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
bad

you totally fudge this oneall in love then she sluts out

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
the ending was not shit!!!!!

for a long story like that it was fukin amazin. all the way through it was were beleiveable u 2 were so in love and by the sound of it had some pretty good sex, i think the end realy works with the time era, and any one else who says different is retarded. by the way im female and you made me very wet so THANX xx

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Unbelievable

You just killed your own story. You built up their relationship which stated that they were deeply in love with each other, then with the ending you make it clear that you were just bull********. Follow through with a story and stick with the plot. Hasty decicions like the ending you made, made it clear that none of the things you built up during the story was real.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Ruined it

The story was excellent you worked it up well and completely destroyed it in the last paragraph.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
what a let down

I agree with the others, you screwed this tale in the last paragraph.

Did you get interrupted or have an urgent appointment? I really was not keen on the complacent parents who threw a couple of horny teens together but you made it work; then you hit a brick wall and cheated on us with a lousy explanative narration that sobered us up. You built up to orgasm but pulled out and left us hanging.

Not happy.

Lexie

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
what happened

I mean it was so good and sweet until the last paragraph. I would not recommend anyone read this except to show how NOT to finish a good story

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
I agree

what were you thinking, you had to know you'd piss people off.

BfreetorunBfreetorunover 9 years ago
Well, you ended it abruptly but it was like pulling off a band-aid.

If I was a writer (and I am a reader, not a writer, LOL), I would have the brother/sister sex continue on through the years whenever it was convenient. This was a really good story, entertaining.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Ah! It was so goddamn fun; your way of writing & narrating's got me hooked!

Really enjoyed though hate the last part after she so asks you wether you were in the 'heat of passion'

topacetopaceover 8 years ago
The ending ruined it!

Here I was hoping they would leave home together, secretly get married (or live like a married couple to explain the same last name - high school sweethearts would have worked as a cover story), and had a family together - but NO, you had to ruin it by having the sister marry some douche bag and show she just wanted her brother for the sex and not love!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Fine...

...except people didn't talk like that back then.

Turtle1952Turtle1952about 7 years ago
So she didn't really love him

just wanted to fuck him silly

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Wow

Brother dodged a bullet because the sister was a major whore. Being past around by all the guys at school and being proud of it and the dumbass brother fell in love with her pussy and was gonna start a life with the worthless whore. Glad the whore did what whores do and moved onto other dicks and he meet peaches. Sister probably had more dicks than can be counted since leaving her brother.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Ruined

ruined by your last paragraph. You are an idiot

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Fun story till almost the end

Killed a good story. EXTREMELY unlikely story for 1951.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Dang…. She (your story) had me eating her out, until she farted on my face. Deal breaker.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Good story, disappointing ending.

OseekerOseeker8 months ago

That story sure took a turn to the south!

3 stars

Anonymous
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