The concept of the story was good, though a little hard to believe at times. You definitely need to reread your stories before you submit them as they are a little messed up still.
Though it was a little erotic, it wasnt mind blowing.
Look forward to next story, and the improvements you make.
by
Anonymous06/04/09
Oh God!
That was one hot story! I can't wait to read more.
that was pretty damn hot although it would've been better if you had incorperated a little more struggle into it i mean no girl who's a virgin at that is just going to let that happen she'd struggle a little at least but other than that so hot need to write more though longer filled with more i'll be watching for more from you hopefully about the same kinda things
by
Anonymous06/28/10
YOU PERVERT!
by
Anonymous09/15/10
Learn punctuation!
I couldn't get past the first paragraph!
by
Anonymous04/05/11
I loved it
I think you should write more please!!!
by
Anonymous07/16/11
Please have your stories edited in the future... so many run-on sentences and such that I couldn't even read your story
by
Anonymous07/20/12
Hot as helllllll
by
Anonymous09/10/12
mmmmm
*gush* so hot!! Make her pregnant and sure she carries it to term and use her as your cow
by
Anonymous11/11/13
great story
good job can't wait for more
by
Anonymous03/31/15
EDITING
It became unarousing when I realized the entire story was three run on sentences separated by indents and spacing. I couldn't even focus on the story.
English
okay for first story
The concept of the story was good, though a little hard to believe at times. You definitely need to reread your stories before you submit them as they are a little messed up still.
Though it was a little erotic, it wasnt mind blowing.
Look forward to next story, and the improvements you make.
Oh God!
That was one hot story! I can't wait to read more.
Good story. Continue
Though editing would help, the premise of the story is good. Please continue with this storyline.
Wow
This is nearly a verbatum story of how it happened for me the first time
wow
that was pretty damn hot although it would've been better if you had incorperated a little more struggle into it i mean no girl who's a virgin at that is just going to let that happen she'd struggle a little at least but other than that so hot need to write more though longer filled with more i'll be watching for more from you hopefully about the same kinda things
YOU PERVERT!
Learn punctuation!
I couldn't get past the first paragraph!
I loved it
I think you should write more please!!!
Please have your stories edited in the future... so many run-on sentences and such that I couldn't even read your story
Hot as helllllll
mmmmm
*gush* so hot!! Make her pregnant and sure she carries it to term and use her as your cow
great story
good job can't wait for more
EDITING
It became unarousing when I realized the entire story was three run on sentences separated by indents and spacing. I couldn't even focus on the story.
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