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Taken By Sunrise

byAkanzi©
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by Anonymous

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by GuiltyPleasure06/09/09

This......

....has some nice images but it is more prose than poetry, the occasional rhyme doesn't do it. The writer could trim much of the words ("doth" is used, apparently in an attempt to set the era, it doesn't work) and cliches, tighten the form. I encourage Akanzi (who posts here for the first time) to keep writing.

Tess

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by Akanzi06/11/09

Thank you

Thank you for your constructive criticism.
I'm not used to writing erotic poetry and was challenged with doing an 18th century piece.
I wanted to test the waters on LE and see if my stuff could be published at all before giving it a go with more.
Thank you again, and I look forward to posting more, better, work soon ;)

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