David and Abi

Nice

Such a good writer...

Great potential here...

...and a good base story. But I found myself wrinkling my brow in too many places, and that marred my enjoyment of the story.

I'll send you an email to explain.

You have to get yourself a better editor! Neither you or them seem to know the difference between 'there', 'their' and 'they're' the wrong one is used every time. That is just a few among a lot of errors.

Damn I really wanted to like this

But you kept tripping me up. The most important thing was that Abi never introduced him to her daughter. Big mistake. HUGE. No woman would ever do that. She would make absolutely sure her child was happy with the man she was going to marry. And David has so many issues was she sure that he was Father material? And at the end Abi went behind his back and showed what a pig headed, manipulative woman she was, that in the end, I just don't see how he could even consider marrying her. Well written, with a TON of grammatical errors. But I just didn't like the conclusion.

Confused

This story totally confused me there didn't seem to be any flow to it, it jumped all over the place. Was there 2 different women, compared to your other stories this just left me a WTF feeling.

Lot of Holes

In this puppy. What about the daughter? One of them blows Dodge at the drop of a hat? We know nothing of the injury...only conjecture. They only spent a few days with each other over the span of months. Way too many gaps. The premise was good...but, by the end we still didn't know anything. Oh, and pops, the general flys all over the world to appease his daughter? And, again, where was the phantom daughter in all this?

Proofread!

I really like your stories but the spelling errors are horrendous. The use of almost any spell-checker would fix many of them. If you can figure out how to contact me I could help.

A VERY STRANGE STORY AND

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS ALL ABOUT EXCEPT TWO PEOPLE MEETING BY CHANCE....WEIRD...

Abi is a demanding bitch

Run now. She has already proven more than once that she can not be trusted and refuses to do as asked instead doing only what she thinks is best. Run now and get the fuck away from this bitch.