All Comments on 'Yellowstone Discovery'

A little long, but well written- an enjoyable read.

A really stupid woman who doesn't know when she has it so good. And perhaps a man who accepted things too easily but well written and a good read.

Great work. Very enjoyable read. Thank you.

A very good story, well constructed and very believable.

You are really developing into an excellent writer. Thank you for sharing your talent with us...

Great story --- realistic, touching, sad, happy. It had everything;

The writing is pretty good. Just nit picking, but there were several sentences illustrated by, "As you would expect her and Sarah were bridesmaids." (It should be, "As you would expect, she and Sarah were bridesmaids"). This story took a lot of effort to write and kept me, a reader, interested to the end. Deb's fooling around was pretty obvious and for a reasonably smart guy, Dave was fairly naive. The condom was really just the wake up call. I think the rebound relationship with the younger sister of the slut ex-wife has been done quite a bit in other stories, but it still was OK here. I'm disappointed, however, that Dave can't make his own way in the dating world and ends up with his sister-in-law, or ex-sister-in-law. I think that sort of relationship would make for some very awkward moments at family gatherings. Even though she screwed up, Debbie is still her parents' daughter, and I can't imagine family kicking her to the curb forever. For a while I was wondering if Deb would already be pregnant with Dave's (or someone else's) child from the month without BC pills. That certainly would have created a mess. Thanks for writing an excellent story.

I would have dumped her the first time she went to school and let me slide!

I believe you have improved even on your two previous superb stories. This was more believable than 'Black & Tan Blues' although I thoroughly enjoyed that story.

If this is a tale based on a true event it must have been very traumatic for the guy, but your narration has real quality. I think you are one of the top writers in this genre and I declare myself to be one of your keenest fans. The more you write the more accomplished author you seem to become.

Great read, it kept my attention the whole way through.

I liked your 'cliff-hanger' format but I think I prefer this format, i.e. the whole thing at once.

Thank you for your time and effort,

Norman

<p>.....that believable to me</p>

<p>You main character was in college. I know when I went I fully understood what a party girl was. Your main character was dating one, and he knew it. He commented that he knew she was dating various other guys when she dated him, and they started sleeping together. And she even mentioned early in their relationship that she wasn't a virgin anymore. That pretty much told me where this was going early on.</p>

<p>She started missing times to be with him using thin excuses. A man answers the phone, but he doesn't verify who it is. In the story she takes to not wearing her engagement ring, enough so that he notices and she doesn't. You would have had to cut my wife's hand off to get her ring away from her during our engagement. The various friends who couldn't look him in the eye when she was around, or was mentioned. His sister telling him she played around with boys in high school.</p>

<p>I mean the main character saw the writing on the wall and he was doing Projection. The character was shown to be projecting his feelings of love on to her.</p>

<p>I guess I just didn't like the main character. He seemed to me to be an idiot. I admit he was supposed to be in love, but all the other things he missed it was a "condom wrapper" that was what gave it away? Nothing else that would have normally made him check her out while they were engaged, just a condom wrapper? There's dense to me, then there is "Someone open the door and push him into the room so he can see the writing on the wall" dense.</p>

<p>It wasn't a bad story, just he was too dense for words. And his desperation at wanting to be with her, to the exclusion of other people, even when she first told him she only "liked" him when he told her he "loved" her, never made sense to me. The character knew of her past, and even then that didn't get his attention. I just can't understand his shock at finding out she's cheating</p>

-Risq

I have to admit that the protagonist was slow on the uptake.

Any of us would have gone visiting unannounced when she did not want us to come to her university, or asked for the ring back! All the enjoyable pieces were seen in other stories (different ones) but like a good whisky they go down smoothly, even getting rich as an electrician is old hat here but maybe someone will learn from the stories.

An excellent, believable and highly emotionally charged story authored by one of the best writers in the "Loving Wives" Category. Itmgr writes his third story on the topic of betrayal by a wife of a husband who can only be described as a loving, sincere and truly dedicated person. Debbie was too selfish, too into herself to honestly appreciate Dave either both as her boyfriend and then her husband. He gave his love to her and much more; but she had to distribute what love she possessed around to her various lovers and there wasn't that much left for Dave. This is a disturbing story in a sense because Debbie's immediate family does not appear to have been a source of her disturbance; Debbie seems to have acquired this fault (simply?)from her beauty and her ability to turning heads. Well, I imagine that her sister, Sarah, will in the future be quite different as regards her lover and respect for Dave. When they connect and get married, heck, Debbie will become her ex-husbands new sister-in-law. Thank you for your story itmgr2010. RAG

It is one of the best. I do wish a sequel where He talks to her ... maybe the time when he is getting married to her sister.... I like a little confrontation and a little showing of the mirror to the cheating woman.

What I love about your story is the time you take to build the background. Let's face it - good guys and gals get screwed all the time. Love is often blind because if you do not trust the person how could you love him or her. Unfortunately there are predators like Debbie out there. Thanks for writing a great story!

I loved your story and congratulate you on your development as a writer.

For me there really was "suspension of disbelief". I had a similar thing happen to a good friend at and at university and while I and other friends told him that his "beloved" was stepping out on him while they were engaged, he believed her lies. It was amazing how his love let him see her through rose tinted spectacles similar to the way it developed in your story.

Keep up the writing and I will look for your next story.

Kiwi87

and I'm surprised that you haven't received many more comments on it. This may be partly because it's long--7 Lit pages is more than some readers will hang on for. You might consider in future splitting up a story of this length into 2 or 3 parts (though I know some readers don't like that either--you can't please everyone). ***********************************************************

Your characters are well-developed and you do a good job of filling in the details of the story. I guess I have to agree that Dave is rather naive in letting Debbie get away with everything she did while she was in college; but sometimes men in love are fools, and I guess he fits into that category.

***********************************************************

Congratulations on another strong story! I look forward to more of your work. Thanks, ohio

I really enjoyed reading your story.

Boyd

Great story and well written, too! I am adding you to my favorite authors list. Keep writing.

Why did Dave let his wife continue fucking John after he had all of it down on tape. Adultry could have been proved after a few minutes of the tape and if he had burst in on them fucking. Why did he give the wallet to kathy. He could have waited for john to pick it up himself was he just a cowardly little wimp?.YES. Letting john say all he said about him and just him riding off into the sunset. You politically correct little liberal ass wimp writers get my hack up. I would really love to show you what a REAL MAN would do. On you naturally

A really well developed story. Both the characters and plot were believable. Great writing skills. Too bad this gal was a selfish whore who didn't have the brains to know when she had a winner. Too bad!

You write well, but your protagonist has got to be one of the dumbest people around. How many clue does it take to make a man awareof the fact that his wife or fiancee is playing around on him. Deb plays him for a fool during your entire story and he doesn' seem to get it until the roof caves in on him.

Maybe little sister will be a little more honest. the Ct. Yankee

But I would have joined them in the hot tub, John needed a little pain. You can't hurt a slut wife they just move on to the next dick, just get them out of your life and move on. Thanks.

man babbled the following: <p>

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ <p>

You rolled a wimp <p>

06/14/09 by Anonymous <p>

Why did Dave let his wife continue fucking John after he had all of it down on tape. Adultry could have been proved after a few minutes of the tape and if he had burst in on them fucking. Why did he give the wallet to kathy. He could have waited for john to pick it up himself was he just a cowardly little wimp?.YES. Letting john say all he said about him and just him riding off into the sunset. You politically correct little liberal ass wimp writers get my hack up <p>

++++++++++++++++++++ <p>

Wow, brotha! Slow down there! One mighty adverb modifyin' 5 adjectives? <p>

Don't you know that could cause brain aneurysm (aneurism)? <p>

So you gonna go grab youRE big, non-sissy gun and go out and kill a few little, defenseless cats or birds in the backyard, to "show" the world and to show sissy Liberals you's a big, fearless brotha? LOL

I dont care if it was predictable. Well written and very easy to read!! Keep them coming MGR!!

Sorry, but this story did not work for me.

By mid story the author had already planted so many clues, all whistling and blinking at full volume, warning signs for Debbie’s manipulative and chronic lying nature. With the above come the similarly strong alarms, pointing to her selfish and self centered behaviors, accompanied by total disregard and disrespect to others. <P>

At some point I got exasperated, what part of ‘obvious’ couldn’t Dave’s pathetic and desperate character understand, and once he got some clues –retain them? <P>

The sheer volume and repetition of the clues to Debbie’s evasiveness and lying is so great that you must conclude that the author is trying to make sure you get the point that Dave is not only an emotional cripple but is also ridden with a judgment and maturity of a ten years old. <P>

Do people with emotional arrested development like Dave exist? Of course they do. Do self destructive people with low self esteem exist? Of course. Do manipulative Narcissistic users like Debbie exist? I am sure we have all met some. What I can’t understand is the consideration of the author in selecting these two very unpleasant/ annoying types as the central characters. To the most part, reading the story felt like watching a cat playing with a mouse before killing it…not much fun for my taste.

Frankly, she got away with almost everything and there was no recourse for the cheaters - henceforth a 75. Well written but somewhat not as satisfied with the ending as we would have liked.

The premise was tired and cliched. It didn't sufficiently answer why she lead him on through college or why, if she loved him, she would cheat on him. Sorry, but it sucked

Although he was awfully dense for an awfully long time.<P>

Obviously she was calculating and amoral. She had no problem dumping her roommate at graduation for what she perceived to be a better deal. She also had no intention of ever remaining faithful. It made me wonder why she was so broken up at getting caught. Simply because she could not maintain the illusion anymore? Makes one question her motivation.<P>

Personally I think I would have brought a toaster to the hot tub...naaahhh.<P>

Thanks for sharing.

itmgr,

Very good. It was a predictable story, but then again when the story started the victim (I mean hero) also knows where this is going. What was well done was how he got to this point. You did an excellent job to telling the story and a very good job of description and character development. Well done.

That's all our protagonist suffered from. The way I read it he was relatively young. So by and large it is, to my mind, reasonable to think he was a bit naive. Considering that his reations are reasonable. He would then write his story with the benefit of hind sight. Itmgr, you carefully crafted the back story to give your characters depth and I think it worked very well. Anytime I see your tag, I expect a well written story. You do not dissappoint.

Enjoyed the story, good writing. Predictable plot but still a good read. Husband was just young and in love. I know from experience that if you love someone you overlook a lot of things. You can be afraid of change and of losing your love. A situation like this is not black or white. I would have liked to see John get his ass handed to him, but that's just because I am a vindictive ass myself. Keep writing looking forward to more of your stories. Thanks

Excellent!I would put Sarah give two kids to Dave and Debbie regretting her actions, but that´s a damn good story.Keep them coming.Raj from Goa.

Predictable, Yes. Even so, you did a very good job of telling the story. I got into it and was able to have a visual of the characters and the scenes. I thought it was a well thought out and well written story.

I am glad this stupid little bastard got his heart ripped put. I was hoping he would kill himself... stupid people like this author and this husband are a threat to the rest of us.

Good story, well told. Often in relationships, people look but don't see the true nature of their wife or husband. Clearly he was "blind" and she, very self centered. Understandable for a young couple. Nice she got what was coming to her.

I have to say that you wrote it out well. But, why would he have kept up his pursuit when she would never tell him she loved him and when she kept dating others when going out with him? Her not coming back to see him? Spring break? To me, you made him out to be willing cuckold the whole time they went together! Everything she did pointed out that she did not love him! That points out something to me. To my way of thinking "He" encouraged her way of life by not clearing all this up with her at the beginning and throughout the relationship! Sure she was a slut that did not love him. But, he knew that all along by the way she treated him... You make him out to be pretty pitiful...just wanting her no matter what she did to him! Things that most men would not tolerate from the very beginning of the relationship. His actions and the acceptance of hers had me convinced that he would become a willing cuckold. I thought that this could have been a willing cuckold story until the end. But you reversed course and suddenly made him all strong and manly after it was really rubbed in his face after the camping trip and in the hot tub! Even the little sister had tried to warn him. I guess I have to admit it was a good story...even though I didn't feel much sympathy for his being such a wimp! Hell, why not forgive her? He had so many times already!

Good Story!

trash and took her back and married her. Dumb ass. Now he can live and the sister seems a much better catch and maybe even a good wife to be.

You write very well. Please post more.

To let us know if Sarah was sucessful and if so How hard it was for Debbie to learn her sister was now sharing Dave's Bed.

There were no wimps in this tale! Thanks for a really good story. I hope to see more from you.

But I would love to see how Dave and Sarah grow into a couple. The best revenge is living well with your ex's sister....

awful... the monster plot here kills this otherwise Good story.

WHY does the idiot Husband listen to for hours his wife fuck the other guy... and let that go on?

WHY does he get so revolted by the cheating wife her fucks her?

those are very extreme reactions and need explanation.Not saying the husband acted correctly or not. But that sort of reaction needs SOME sort of explanation

<p> Too many broad hints as to her character flaws for husband to miss them. Needlessly long. </p>

<p> </p>

<p> You should really learn the rules for pronoun usage. It would have made this story better and would also be useful in your other stories containing the same common errors. </p>

To many things happened for him not to have caught on sooner, even if he did not catch her that early, he should have been less trust worthy, the radar should have been on. Great story though. Please write more with a little more detail in the aftermath.

Him getting with the sister is great, perhaps Debbie's story should have ended with her losing it at sarahs and his wedding. Perhaps she could gave gotten drunk, gone for a drive, and got into a fatal accident?

Still, I enjoyed having no wimps in sight,and the bitch getting nailed.

Sometimes you're too fucking stupid for words.

What a superb story teller. I have not enjoyed my self so much in a long time.Well worth my 5* and more ! Thank you Itmgr.

all fortelling of doom of 1 kind or another. OLD FAITHFUL STILL ERUPTS. TK U MLJ LV NV

I am angry with many writers, why they stop writting their stories. I think one-two pluss pages with a mariage (with Sarah), 2 children etc would be interesting. Whether Debbie would go to wedding of Sarah and Dave?

There is other writer SWO Hermit who writes 40 years epiloge to a up to date story, I think he is the oposite.

One thing about itmgr2010's stories is that loose ends are often tied up in later stories. If you're interested in what happened to Dave and Sarah, try reading "Warts and All."

Great stories and I love reading them. I just wish itmgr2010 posted more often but I'll take quality over quantity any time.

@ Dear ACP45 I read it earlier.

Debbie - watch out everyone - women with this name are to be watched closely.

Reading this story, I was reminded of the Star Tours ride in Disneyland. The shuttle lands and at the end of the runway, you can see the Avgas tanker trundling across the asphalt. And you just know that the shuttle brakes are going to fail and you're going to hit the tanker. But like a possum caught in the headlights - you can't help but watch the explosion.

Thank you for the story itmgr. I count only a handful of favourite authors on this site and you're one of them. 5*****

I digress. This is one of the most entertaining and superbly written story by a very talented Author. One of the best on this site. Thank you itmgr 2010.

The Husband actions and behavior are pretty stupid and make NO sense.

After they break up... then reconcile.. he shows Debbie the house... she has NO clue WHY he is working to make this a Home and Garden magnificent home.

Right there ...its over.

That shoud tell everyone that there is a SERIOUS disconnect between the husband and the whore / wife Debbie

then she cant come home.

then her engagement ring is missing

then straange men answer the phone

then strange men give him dirty looks

then former friends wont look him in the eye...

all very very silly boring and predictable

I am not even getting into all the logic-holes. Just that the Husband is so stupid it borders on being mentally disabled, makes it impossible to indentify with him. Which makes the story pointless, because I dont care what she did, he had it coming a long time.

Debbie's one impulse of decency ( making John wear a rubber to ensure her husband would be the father ) was what got her caught. Other then that small insight , I can only echo the positive things previous commentators have noted. Great story !

Good story but how many times must one get kicked in his teeth to get the picture!?

For the read.

I enjoyed the story, but what a dumb ass!

Your story was good but bizarre, you can't get into college and be that stupid. His only hope is to find a monastery with low standards where he will have a chance at breaking into the real world. Through guidances and maybe a boot in his ass once a day.

Without a doubt one of the three best writers on this site. 5* of course!

you liked this didn't you (four fucking comments, jeez)

That showed she wasn't fit for marriage and he had it right the first time around when he decided to cut her out of his life. But at least it was only three years and no kids.

I loved the story and she got hers. Why women and mostly women lie to play games with relationships is beyond me. But most are born Whores anyway so let the games begin

Superb story. Well done. Loved it.

Annon 29 11 12, lol!!

He served everything Debbie did to him. He continuosly WIMPED his way back to be with her, no matter how many many times she totally direspected him.

What a wimp loser he is.

But this well-done story is about a remarkably naive Hubby and a party girl Sweetie who hasn't (can't) give up her hot college days. She even admits to her current Bull that if her Hubby was on a more convenient shift, that Mr. Bull would be out in the cold. Two semi-canceling quibbles...good character-development BUT unnecessarily long,

I cannot understand fucking a woman who has just broken your heart. Anger may work as an aphrodisiac for some, but it seems unlikely for most! There is, at least in some states, a problem that being intimate with someone AFTER you are aware of that person's transgressions, indicates that you forgive that behavior, thus NOT admissible,

husband gave love a chance, nothing wrong there. she was a whore and went looking to be a slut so that is what she was. i am only surprised that the ph value did not run a little high, as in burn your skin off with acid high but that it only me and the way i write my stories.

Once he found out he acted decisively. Of course, she made it easy for him. Excellent writing.

This was a well written story and the content was good. My only complaint would be that she made it painfully obvious what she was up to the whole time. I understand what it is like to be basically blinded by love but this went a bit over the top with his naivety. I mean the signs were so obvious that while reading I got frustrated that he would ask questions like how could I not have noticed or how could she fool me so easily!? They guy was no dummy but he was written to be dumb in lots of instances. Instances that were so overtly obvious that it was hard to believe he never would've considered her cheating. Too obvious to be explained by love blinders! 4*

By one of three best Authors. This just couldn't get any better. Thank you Sir.

'roscovich'

Frankly, I wanted to punch Dave in the throat for his blatant stupidity.

Lucky lucky Sarah. She knows that she's got a live one she can twist around her finger and sell any ration of shit to as long as she's SLIGHTLY more discrete then her moron of a sister.

I am reminded of that story where a burning hand appears in the Bible writing 'Mene, Mene, Tekel, u-Pharsin' Essentially told the clueless ruler that he was about to get his ass handed to him.

The same hand could write "Debbie is a slut" on Dave's freshly painted wall and he would start at it dully, idly wondering what these words meant. Which Debbie? Why would some kids come into HIS house and write about some unknown Debbie on HIS walls? Darned kids.

But a bit pointless. The end was telegraphed in the first part.

Well written, good plot, not too exciting but not far fetched either. Realistic in regard to a man intent on being in love, married, and a good husband to the point that he is blind to his wife's true nature. It was as much his fault as hers. He should have known what she was by her actions in college. Sluts don't change, and smart men don't marry them. They are a misery to a normal man, they are only fit to be whores or hooked up with a pervert swinger.

Review the usage of "she" and "her". Only one is a noun.

especially if one doesn't have all the pieces. TK U MLJ LV NV

cuck to write this crap. 1 star

When it comes to one bombing quality stories , he waxes rampant, furious and engorged. When it comes to writing a better story, internet hard man/ anon troll is soft and impotent

7 pages of Dave the moron.

Thanks, btw I want my 30 minutes back.

This is no fucken published book written or edited by professionals. If it truely bothers you, go to the library or buy a book. Do not come here being a cry baby and complain about grammar. You are not an english teachers, So STFU about proper english especially if you have not published any stories.

I am an English teacher and I have 5 published stories on this site. Most of the stories here are poorly written and use horrible grammar, but when you as a commenter make a statement as you did, you should at least consult a dictionary or use spell check. It makes any point that you are trying to make appear ridiculous. Please refrain from making yourself the grammar police as you are not qualified to correct anyone.

After the spring break fiasco, he gets back together with her?

If all the other BS up to that point wasn't enough, getting back together with her after the spring break f*ck-fest makes Dave the biggest pussy-whipped moron on the planet.

I will pass on reading a story in the column to the right called Similar Stories. If they are similar I will only be disappointed again and don't need the frustration.

once you get in over your head and where it is, TK U MLJ LV NV

Another brilliant tale. You write your characters exceptionally well. I was almost taken in by Debbie as well. And now I hate the bitch. A great ride. He had every reason not to marry her. Red flags everywhere. Love is blind. At least he found out before a kid was conceived. Five stars.

He was about as dumb as a rock though.

Just how many hints and signs do you need?

My wife was a great wife in most ways except for once.

I trusted her,but it just took a funny look in a friends eye for a couple seconds to get me to check it out.

Authors really seem to have to make their protagonists stupid beyond possibility to make the character work.

It is rare they can go a whole story without falling into that trap.Pretty much any author. in my experience.

I agree with Harry in VA

and many others. He was way too stupid. Not just blind to her behaviour, he clearly ignored all the signs, even as obvious as they were.

Then when he finally makes a decision to end it, he takes her to bed, and then throws her out.

a man this stupid should not have kids, there is more than enough morons on this earth we dont need more.

a loser from the start.

2 stars for the tale,,,1 star for the catholic cult reference = 11/2 star.

before they finally catch up with the universe, TK U MLJ LV NV

counseling is for people who care

"Tell John I would really like him to come get his wallet. I would like to have a few words with him." I said savagely.

vs

"Tell John I would really like him to come get his wallet."

Well written story. But like a lot of stories, and books, the author evidently got tired near the end and finished with an unimaginative close. First six pages were great, disappointing, real life drama. Last page finished the story and I'd rank that page a 2 and the rest a 5+.

while this kids were in day care, then elementary, then high school. After the kids were gone she'd probably finally divorce him, taking half of everything he accumulated while she fucked around behind his back, letting the school system raise her kids. What a waste of biomass such women are.

you reek and have no idea about women!!!! That's why your wife left your sorry ass. I gave this story a 5 and loved every word. Go back to your cave and jerk your little cock while reading all these LW stories.

John's first business that closed was with Alan from "Disco", Debbie and John in "Yellowstone " are the Debbie and John in "Warts". Love those subtle references.

He should beat the piss out of John the prick. He let him off way too easy. What is it that some guys think they can just fuck anybody's wife and get away with it? I can assure you that I would be in jail for attempted murder, at least.

he married a slut and he knew it, what did he expect?

He was so naïve that it was a little hard to swallow, but love is truly blind, and that's really what the story was about. He finally awakened to reality.