Do you have ANY idea how much pain you would cause a woman if you took her virginity doggie style? Obviously not! Your writing, although slightly above par, was too rushed and needs to be read through several times before you submit! It wasn't a bad first effort, you just need to do some reasearch, first!
by
Anonymous06/15/09
Nothing To Praise Here
If this is the level of future contributions to this site, stop writing now. Story was completely unbelievable. Priests cannot marry for a start !
by
Anonymous06/15/09
Look Son
because of your efforts I gave you you 50. I agree with both the fellow commenters. You should do some research first. Looking at your age group - 18 to 22 I think you just truned 18 and are virgin. Taking and giving viriginty is the best feeling ever and Son it hurts very much the first time. Also, mostly you can't go all the way inside a girl when she is a virgin. Like I said it hurts and it scares them. Do some research re-read your work and then post it.
by
Anonymous06/15/09
Not a good beginning
She masturbates with a dildo, but still has an intact hymen? I don't think so.
by
Anonymous06/15/09
Don't let the critics grind you down!!
Extremely original concept.
I was hooked very early into your story.
Please try again and don't let negative comments deter you from exploring your imagination and sharing it with us.
Some people forget that often these stories are fantasy and forget about artistic license.
I'll be looking for more from you.
A Fan
by
Anonymous06/15/09
Wrong religion!
Roman Catholic priests are forbidden to marry. However, a Lutheran minister who converts along with his wife may be re-ordained in his new faith. They are not required to remain celebate.
Nice twist of having the son take Mom's cherry.
by
Anonymous06/15/09
In spite of everything ...
I'm still going to give it full marks. It was an unexpected twist at the start of the story that got me reading. While you have some facts wrong (RC priests cannot marry; BUT an already married man can become a priest) and she's not likely to have an intact hymen. Normally, I'd have given this a 75 but the others have seriously underrated your story so I feel it's only fair to overrate it and let the average number more accurately reflect the real value.
Those Nice first story that you wrote. You had a few problems with her losing her virginity at 40 and having a dildo in her. For the most part it was erotic and entertaining story. You just had some technical problems as far as having blood on his penis after her virginity was taken which I would've been hard saying she didn't have one if she was using a dildo. Keep trying on find yourself a good editor to help you.
by
Anonymous06/16/09
Not incest
This is not a true incest story and as for a catholic priest being married? Could of been a lot better.
by
Anonymous09/02/09
Good, but could be better.
Half marks for a good first story. Many authors do a little reshearch at some point during creation, and I suggest that you do so. Also, if you don't like the information you discover, perhaps you should classify the story as something more science-fiction, though you could be a first-class stroker author. Still, in helps to have little minor facts correct or at least somewhat believeable. And practice makes perfect, even if it's the same story you re-write a hundred times.
Don't let your critics get you down. Anyone who bashes a story without giving some helpful advice to make it better, no matter how scathing the review, doesn't deserve to evaluate your efforts. They're just there to be heartless pricks and should almost always be ignored.
Good luck. I look forward to seeing more pieces from you. If you find writing enjoyable, no difference the topic, then I highly recommend a lititure course. Nothing long term or fancy; just something that can constructivly help you improve your skills.
Of course this is a true fantasy. No matter how it's written, Mom's a 40 year old virgin. This is a story you have to read......LAROC OF AGES
by
Anonymous06/04/13
What?
How is his mother a virgin???
by
Anonymous08/15/15
Learn about women
If she had been using dildos her hymen would of been broken already
by
Anonymous07/05/16
soo horny
Bit like my life story
by
Anonymous09/25/16
Once in a lifetime
Deflowering a middle aged virgin is unbelievable! When I was 19, I had the opportunity to hook up with a friend of my moms, who was 48 at the time. This developed over a six month period, and I didn't realize she was still a virgin until she had me in her bed. 4 months later, when I moved to an out of state University, she had given me every orifice she had. STILL an unbelievable period
English
Your Inexperience Is Obvious!
Do you have ANY idea how much pain you would cause a woman if you took her virginity doggie style? Obviously not! Your writing, although slightly above par, was too rushed and needs to be read through several times before you submit! It wasn't a bad first effort, you just need to do some reasearch, first!
Nothing To Praise Here
If this is the level of future contributions to this site, stop writing now. Story was completely unbelievable. Priests cannot marry for a start !
Look Son
because of your efforts I gave you you 50. I agree with both the fellow commenters. You should do some research first. Looking at your age group - 18 to 22 I think you just truned 18 and are virgin. Taking and giving viriginty is the best feeling ever and Son it hurts very much the first time. Also, mostly you can't go all the way inside a girl when she is a virgin. Like I said it hurts and it scares them. Do some research re-read your work and then post it.
Not a good beginning
She masturbates with a dildo, but still has an intact hymen? I don't think so.
Don't let the critics grind you down!!
Extremely original concept.
I was hooked very early into your story.
Please try again and don't let negative comments deter you from exploring your imagination and sharing it with us.
Some people forget that often these stories are fantasy and forget about artistic license.
I'll be looking for more from you.
A Fan
Wrong religion!
Roman Catholic priests are forbidden to marry. However, a Lutheran minister who converts along with his wife may be re-ordained in his new faith. They are not required to remain celebate.
Nice twist of having the son take Mom's cherry.
In spite of everything ...
I'm still going to give it full marks. It was an unexpected twist at the start of the story that got me reading. While you have some facts wrong (RC priests cannot marry; BUT an already married man can become a priest) and she's not likely to have an intact hymen. Normally, I'd have given this a 75 but the others have seriously underrated your story so I feel it's only fair to overrate it and let the average number more accurately reflect the real value.
Nice First Story!!
Those Nice first story that you wrote. You had a few problems with her losing her virginity at 40 and having a dildo in her. For the most part it was erotic and entertaining story. You just had some technical problems as far as having blood on his penis after her virginity was taken which I would've been hard saying she didn't have one if she was using a dildo. Keep trying on find yourself a good editor to help you.
Not incest
This is not a true incest story and as for a catholic priest being married? Could of been a lot better.
Good, but could be better.
Half marks for a good first story. Many authors do a little reshearch at some point during creation, and I suggest that you do so. Also, if you don't like the information you discover, perhaps you should classify the story as something more science-fiction, though you could be a first-class stroker author. Still, in helps to have little minor facts correct or at least somewhat believeable. And practice makes perfect, even if it's the same story you re-write a hundred times.
Don't let your critics get you down. Anyone who bashes a story without giving some helpful advice to make it better, no matter how scathing the review, doesn't deserve to evaluate your efforts. They're just there to be heartless pricks and should almost always be ignored.
Good luck. I look forward to seeing more pieces from you. If you find writing enjoyable, no difference the topic, then I highly recommend a lititure course. Nothing long term or fancy; just something that can constructivly help you improve your skills.
the_lonly_outsider18@yahoo.com
ONE LUCKY BOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course this is a true fantasy. No matter how it's written, Mom's a 40 year old virgin. This is a story you have to read......LAROC OF AGES
What?
How is his mother a virgin???
Learn about women
If she had been using dildos her hymen would of been broken already
soo horny
Bit like my life story
Once in a lifetime
Deflowering a middle aged virgin is unbelievable! When I was 19, I had the opportunity to hook up with a friend of my moms, who was 48 at the time. This developed over a six month period, and I didn't realize she was still a virgin until she had me in her bed. 4 months later, when I moved to an out of state University, she had given me every orifice she had. STILL an unbelievable period
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