All Comments on 'Crazy Arms'

i dont like martyrs.

I think it was an excellent story.

This is easily the worst story that DG has ever done. Normally I love this guy is a stuff but here there are so many things wrong with this story I really do not know where to begin.

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<b>Probably the most offensive part of the whole thing is watching the mother who supposedly seems to favor Ralph over Jake somehow blaming Ralph for Trudy pathetically stupid indefensible decisions and choices. </b>

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If there was no serious relationship between Ralph & Trudy... they had only been out on a few dates ... then it cannot be his fault for not expressing his feelings. <b> The manipulation by the mother is really inexcusable. </b> Trudy went to all nude day and she went there... according to the story... to met other guys and fuck them . TRUDY did that... not Ralph.

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It is not a matter of being right or wrong... moral or immoral.<b> But as it grown adult Trudy has to be responsible for that decision and Ralph's mother has to recognize that. </b>

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Under no conditions should Ralph have anything to do with a pathetically stupid cunt like Trudy. Sure it is true that no feelings were expressed or commitment from Ralph or Trudy and they had just started dating. But fact that ANYONE could go to a orgy fest called all nude day to fuck LOTS of other people men is NOT just not something that should be acceptable if you are thinking about getting serious with someone -- regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

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More importantly Trudy's decisions to actually marry a piece of crap like Jake shows somebody who has a very poor grasp on reality and absolutely no moral core whatsoever. The very act that she went to him... Jake offered marriage... and she accepted with no preconditions out of desperation... gave Jake all the additional power in a relationship and the one thing you don't want to give an ass hole like that is carte blanche power.

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<b>The entire family structure between Ralph and Jake is well offensive and makes the story very cumbersome and difficult to like.</b> Given the number of times that Jake has beaten on Ralph mercilessly for no reason ...included the football game... which could of resulted in a serious or crippling injury... to have Ralph say <i> "NEXT time I will hit you..." </i> actually makes Ralph look like more of an loser and a pathetic wimp. And to have his mother stand by and not say anything to Jake... is really quite revealing about the entire family dynamic.

story. I now know there is more than one writer uploading this shit onto this site moniker - no one writer can write in so many different ways. This story is written by a 15 year old puta and reads that way.

All the warnings aside, whomever this puta's mommy is sure ain't doin her whelp any long term good lettin her submit such rotten stories.

Hi,

I liked this a lot. All in all I thought it was better than your other story.

It had a good plot, nice characterization,good pace and nicely complex.

In other words, it was a good read. For me that is the highest accolade I can give.

Well done!

Jack

Give the couple a break. Not every story is about perfect people. I try to put myself in each of the characters place. I often wonder what I might do if I was in the same positions. I'm sure we would all handle things differently. That's part of life, part of growing up, growing older and hopefully wiser.

As always I try and give you my best. Sorry if it doesn't meet your expectations.

With respect

DG Hear

<p>Had a "younger" brother that this happened with, your story isn't really plausible.</p>

<p>My brother was always going after my date and girlfriends. I honestly wonder sometimes if he didn't make a play for my wife because he was dating her cousin at the time and they lived in the same house, so its not like they wouldn't' have known. But he's cheated on multiple girls and acted pretty much like the brother you outlined in this story.</p>

<p>But I'm here to tell you, Trudy wouldn't have gotten a second chance with anyone else in the real world. Sibling rivalry's like what you just wrote about, where the other child for years takes things away from their brother, and then it escalates into taking women, they don't play the <b>"Well I loved her so much I'll pretend that it was OK that my brother screwed me over yet again"</b> game. That doesn't' happen. Not after years of it, not after both families know about it. It doesn't happen. You created a story were the premise really isn't remotely possible. </p>

<p>I know you want this to have a happy ending, but this story feels like you should have liberally sprinkled it with an alien abduction or two. I mean if the girl you are really into is screwing your brother bareback, and he tells you "Hey, come over here and get some sloppy seconds", dude you are going to carry that image around every time you see that girl for the rest of your life, if you've lived with a spiteful brother like that. Trust me it's true. That is not something you pretend never happened because you love her so much.</P>

<p>I'm sorry I just didn't like your story. It was liking someone who doesn't know how computers work trying describe how the internet works. If you ever get to see a show called "The IT Crowd" watch the episode called "The speech". In it their boss the IT manager, who knows nothing about computers, is trying to explain to shareholders how the internet works. That's really how I saw this story in a way</p>

<p>I don't know if you have brothers, or even the evil brother like in this story, but I can tell you as the oldest of three, and having a middle brother who was the sports star, who still to this day has gorgeous women throwing themselves at him, was always the hound, when you see them doing your girlfriend bareback asking if you want sloppy seconds, you don't picture yourself marrying her and having kids with her</p>

<p>You really don't</p>

-Risq

Most of you that have made a comment need to go back to reading comic books - since you don't like what you think you 'have' to read on here.! None of you can even write your name, let alone a story.!! Great story and well worth the read << keep on writing. Thx.

this was fucking pathetic! what kind of man is ralph? why the hell would he let jake treat him like that and not even try to defend himself or at least take a fucking swing at jake? im sorry to be an asshole, but this story sucked and kinda made me want to ignore any of your other stories if they are going to be this bad.

Possibly the best story i have read in all my years in Lit com. Congradulations

Completely implausible. Unless Ralph is actually Jesus in disguise, there is no way Trudy and he could ever make up.

Sorry DG. Normally I love your stories, and even have your submission page bookmarked, but this time the protagonists, Ralph and Judy both come off as so weak and dumb that it's hard to find any reason to want anything to work out for them.

The story is well written, yes. But the lack of any 'involving' characters to sympathize with makes it a rather disappointing one-time read.

and I agree with Risk in that if this was real there could be no happy ending. But a score of nought? I wanted to give it a 75 because I wanted a long rambling read and I left my Proust on a park bench and the writing and story flowed and the effort put into it? But it wasn't dg's best. Anyway dg you been part of a pleasant Saturday night along with that sweet poem by Sapho's sis. After the excess of last night and upsetting Blue by trying to set her up with a woman we know but who makes her nervous and jealous(it's a domme sub thing and the mood will have to be perfect, but eventually Blue's going to do as she's told) tonight was spent in pleasant company with more usual friends. Good cheap food. Meat, vino, olive oil, tomatoes, cheese, bread . Blue is crashed, bless her, after a little sensual and close loving. That's nice as she's been fucked raw the last few weekends. But why can't I sleep? What draws me always to this glimmering world of words, an endless dusky zone of heat and debate and opinion but mostly the contributions of you all, you writers. Mancelt.

i find this story very beautiful and extremely touching. I almost cried.

Regards,

aa

As a DG fan, I have to agree this was not one of his best, but it was still not a bad story. as a great example of the fact that poor communications can destroy a relationship it was reasonably good, i agree with the majority in wondering why Ralph did not kick his older brother in the balls. I am also surprised that more readers did not object to the stupidity of "Nude Night" Even in fantasy that was pretty far-fetched.

the Ct. Yankee

You write the story as you see fit and if the usual negative critics don't like it. Tough Shit!!Can't please everybody, and I wouldn't put much effort in pleasing the usual negative bunch who bounce on every story with a half page recital telling you where you went wrong. I don't see where none of those assholes have ever submitted a story to this site yet. What's the saying? All blow and no go.

Bad story, worse logic. Mom is dead wrong. Yes Trudy DID cheat on Ralph. Not when Trudy went, "...out with Jake..." But remember, she did even worse, she went to a NAKED DRUNKEN ORGY and had sex with Jake, who she knew to be a potential in-law, AFTER she was talked out of her staying home and not going wild for Ralph's LOVE sake by her "GOOD FRIEND" Jan. Typical bimbo logic though, "Don't miss an opportunity and who'll ever find out?" (Everybody you don't want to, cause Murphy's Law always works overtime). Maybe Jan and Mom come from the same part of the HILLS or TRAILER PARK where naked drunken orgies and incest (keeping it all in the family) aren't looked down upon or a character negative.

The girl knew she was in love with the other guy and fucked his brother bareback anyway. A slut is a slut, and she qualified. Drinking isnt a reason to fuck, it is an excuse to not be responsible for your actions. He was righ ditching the bitch and even now only owes her child support. You painted him as a lisping wimp any time she was around. His brother is right, even if she gets him to marry her, he is still just taking his brothers seconds. Time to grow up and move on.

You normally rock. But a Babe who sleeps with TWO guys, unprotected, in a seven-day period is a Jerry Springer type "Ho".

The story was all over the place and Just Very depressing!

Little Ralphie's a first class wimp. He's not only a wimp but also a first class sissy. Fvckin' downright depressing to read a "man" of nature. <p>

Yeah, your report said there's an 85 percent chances Trudy's kid's fathered by you. But there's a 15 percent chance he's father by someone else. Me! Hehehe!, the little wimp actually thinks THAT's funny? <p>

As Jake said, all little-big Ralphie's women, wives, are fucked everywhich way by Jake and other men and little Ralphie pulls out another DNA certificate and he giggles little David's his! <p>

And he tells us Trudy's now talkin' to him nicely and him to her, also nicely, and they want little David to have a sibling! My fucking gawd! Should man of this nature be breeding?, even if just in a fictional world? <p>

I don't expect men to resort to defeat each other using Navy Seals tactics all the time, as many of these stupid stories do.... But a man has got to exhibit some fvcking balls once in a while with women and other men, no?

I liked it enough to miss a game of golf to finish it!

Did ramble a bit maybe, but that didn't worry me. Besides, I'm a sucker for happy endings.

good luck in the contest DG

I had mixed feelings on this one. We all know someone like Jake and Ralph. Trudy is a different matter. Why would she go to nude drunken orgy when she is having serious feelings for Ralph? It does not matter if they had talk about their feelings or whether he or she would be at the party. Why would she allow Jake to fuck her knowing that he is Ralph's brother? Why would you marry a known pussy hound and have him as your child's father? Trudy's make this one mistake and then proceed to compound it over and over again. This story is riddled with people making bad choices again and again. If the time period was the 50's or 60's you can see Trudy marrying a jerk like Jake just because she is pregnant but not today. Ralph is a wimp but hey they exist. After seeing your girlfriend being fucked by your brother why would you go back to her again (just the image alone would kill any desire - Ugh!)? What doctor do not inform his patient about how to use birth control pills? So Ralph pines for Trudy until an accident happens to reveal that David is his son. Trudy leave Jake because he is a pussy hound which she knew before she married him. Sorry - but story reminds me of a Keystone Cop movie.

You write human garbage very well. It's like you're really in the head of people who are crap.

I didn't like it. I wouldn't stay with her after Jake's departure. I don't believe that somebody is willing to take such humiliation.

Well written and interesting, hopefully Trudy grew up, but I.'m sure Jake will try and get her again at some point. Thanks,I always enjoy your work.

I like this one! It's amazing how many problems come from a lack of communication. I do like your stories.

The story meandered along, with insipid characters. Ralph and his gf did the same thing but she had sex with her "loves" brother. Really weak. I don't understand why you have your characters latch on to one female and who cannot seem to form another attachment when the relationship fails, especially one that only lasted a few weeks! I didn't like Ralph, what he allowed his brother to do to him, or his "good" parents giving him bad advice.

The premise just doesn't cut it... so many complete misses that I can't even bother to list them. First page you threw your story out the window. "I have a great date, really into this guy, not sure if the relationship will go anywhere, so I'll go fuck his brother." DG, Couldn't you possible have taken five minutes out of your life to at least TRY to make it even remotely plausible? At that point, why would any reader care at all about this tramp of a girl you created, who's entire life is directed by her throbbing pussy. DG, are the women in your life this way? Do you read your story and think.. 'yeah, that's how the women I know behave?' God your life must be pathetic!

the story was interesting .. I agree with Risq on the rivalry i had similar experiances growing up .. No way would i get together with someone that i dated that did it with my brother after he knew she was "mine" ?? kid or no kid... NO WAY !!!!! I understand the Grandmother,that she was worried that she woulnd see the Grandchild anymore as happens in real life too many times .. As D G writes about the communication that didnt happen between the caracters thats usualy how things screwed up in real life too ,

but then who would want someone that would go to such a party and marry her anyways... Ralph was wimpy through the whole story and his brother a jerk why he still was talking to him anyways is beyond me,but without the plot of the story there would be no story lol interesting yes ... i like D G's writing and the comments that are awakened on the storys..I might not agree on some but then not everyone agrees on mine.. lol ..Keep writing ...B.N.

The story was told with the same fluency, emotional conviction and dramatic force you have come to expect with stories by DG. In fact, I could have been happier with a bit less drama and some more credibility in the characterization department. <P>

Able and Kane’s rivalry seems docile compared with Ralph’s and Jake’s… Sure- we got a lot of drama, but at what cost? The author had to turn Trudy into a real dim wit, ready to buy any beginner’s bait- line which a horny teen could come up with (“sophisticated” scheme on the level of: your BF said he wants to get rid of you, he has a new GF AND that you are ugly…) in order to have sex with her. And it’s the revenge for no reason theme all over again. The author also had to create amazing coincidences and to portray Ralph as so socially shy and inhibited that throughout his young adulthood the best he could find was this one short time liaison with the ‘wonderful’ Trudy. Yes, the author tried hard to TELL us how wonderful she was, but he did not SHOW us through the plot – at least not to me, HOW she was that wonderful. <P>

A Somewhat less extreme plot at the start could have given the author both more plausibility in terms of the initial development of the plot (no need for crazy coincidents on “nude day” or super dumb decisions by mentally delayed –uber naïve Trudy).

You write very well. Jake's asshole-ness is palpable, and only mildly strains the range of believability. What I struggled with was how our decent, kind, loving hero was given only the mildest revenge. I'll grant that it was the most long-lasting, but Jake just basically gets to slip out of all of his responsibilities and trundle off to Indiana with a hot piece of ass. Not enough. If Ralph was able to express his love for Trudy along the way, maybe . . . and in a way that made this story sexier, perhaps . . . (I'm picturing Trudy getting reminded of Ralph's willingness to give oral sex and reminded that she is a beautiful, glowing pregnant woman by having Ralph get friendly while he's under her desk installing the new computer system?) then we'd have some real revenge and it would just be icing on the cake to find out that David was his son all along. End of story. I have to say again, your writing style is very dramatic, realistic, and poignant. It is simply the plot-line and lack of sexual intimacy opportunities between the hero and heroine that left me short on this one. Good luck in the contest. == Soulchump

I truly enjoyed reading this story and it was well written and deserves to win. I did think it was a little long but I know you can't split up a contest story.

Are you even old enough to be posting on this site? The post reads like some thing a high school kid would write. So many issues with this ridiculous story, can't even bother to start commenting. Seriously, just garbage.

I normally enjoy reading your work DG, but on this one, I wish you would have taken more time to get to the end, it felt rushed and not fully fleshed out

author, pls get a life

He went to the Nude Day because he just wanted to see nudity, like going to a nude beach. She went and decided to fuck Jake on his word that Ralph had called her a good fuck, totally ignoring the caring way that Ralph had treated her. To try and find out if Ralph was the father was just her way of trying to dump responsibility on him and get him closer to her. He should have just left her. Either way, even if he took responsibility for David, which I think he would have, it just seems ridiculous that he took her back after she fucked his brother. It's just disgusting, and makes me think "they keep it within the family"! Also, I hate the condescending way that Ralph's mother acts towards him, and how she keeps pushing them together, even though Trudy is married to his brother. Frankly, this is just a sick story.

A stupid, disjointed, rambling tale. She fucks his brother (repeatedly), his mom is certifiably empty headed. And, we're suppose to buy in to all this. She is clearly a cheating slut. Get a life, author!

I think 0649D back in October 2010 did a good job of pointing out some of the inconsistencies and character flaws in this story. It really just doesn't make much sense to hang blame on Ralph for her fucking Jake!

Of course, it does look like your stories bring out strong emotional responses - one way or the other! LOL

[Gualterio]

More love among the unwashed!

You, sir, are an incredible asshole.

But shit does happen. Most people while still in their 20s seldom make the right decisions, although sometimes you do just get lucky.

I would have liked him to have smacked his asshole brother once but that's just me.

Wow what a useless bag of shit your character is completely and utterly without a fuckin redeaming quality in the whole fuckin world.

Though most of your characters I've come across are basically panty wastes so not a real surprise... I guess people write what they know and you write these useless spoungefucks so well.....

Buy into Trudy,she knew he was his brother and surely could have kept her legs squeezed long enough to figure out what was playing out.

That's not like an engagement it's just not being a skank.

The fuck slut lets any swinging dick have a go, and the biggest loser on the planet spends his days pining away for her? What a sad, pathetic little shit. By the end, I was hoping that he was crushed horribly from above, somehow. Along with the rest of them. Not a single likeable character in this. All of them are worthless. You've got the snivelling little shit that seems to enjoy being a worthless doormat. You've got the bully jock with 2 brain cells. You've got the mother that knows everything, yet does nothing. And then there is the worthless slut. She starts dating the snivelling shit, falls in 'love', knows that he feels the same, but because he doesn't actually say the words, she decides that she will instead become a pin cushion at an orgy. An orgy that she had been looking forward to attending for over a year. Now that is ambition. "Oh, I promised a casual acquaintance that I would let 50 strangers fuck me relentlessly, so I had better lie to my boyfriend and go. After all, I can't go back on my word. The only thing that will make it better, is if I can betray him even more, by fucking his brother in front of him." What a gal. Oh, and then there is the mom, who knows the whole story, and decides to ensure at least one of her worthless sons are stuck with that whore.

There should be a warning at the start of the story stating that; This story is SO bad, if you read it, it may give you cancer. Read at your own risk!

Who the fuck thinks it's okay to go and fuck around when you've been going on dates with a guy already? In what fucked up world does this make sense?

That said, I'd have still avoided writing up Ralph ending up with Trudy, it just seems fucked up for him. The bitch made her choice, a long time ago, and now she should bear the consequences of it. Sure, take care of the kid, it's his after all, and he was cheated out of that for a full year before this all came clean, that's neat and dandy.

But staying with someone like Trudy? "Omg you didn't talk to me, you didn't tell me you love me after three dates, that means I can fuck someone else and you shouldn't be upset." Do you realize how this stupid this sounds?

While I'm not as down on this story as much as some other commenters, I do have some problems with it -

Ralph is criticized for not telling Trudy how HE felt, but she KNEW how SHE felt, yet still went to a Nude Day party, and fucked Jake just because of what he SAID Ralph said about her, never checking to see what he might have actually said.

To not even acknowledge the possibility of Ralph's paternity was wrong.

And it's nice that NOW his mother is so "wise", but where was all her wisdom when Jake and Ralph were growing up and Jake was abusing him?

This story may be one of the top five biggest crack of bull manure I have seen.

All of the characters were pathetic but Trudy is the worst! No, I take that back....she and DUMBO are well-matched and deserve each other.

Sluts, wimps,and one big asshole brother. One of the worst stories on this site. Gave it a 1* because 0* wasn't available.

The men say nothing about how they feel. The women fuck someone else. So far, okay. But then you make it the MAN'S fault ? What bullshit.

Not a likeable or respectable character in the whole story. The mother LEAST of all.

that DG and some other writers try their best to write stories about women doing every possible wrong to their men just to see if the men are stupid enough to remain in a relationship with them! Example......... the woman cheats, lies, disrespects, cuckolds, and totally demoralizes the man but somehow, because of deep "love", the man just HAS to forgive her and, by the way, forgiveness does not automatically mean you HAVE to stay with the one whom you forgive. Forgiveness, mostly, is the wronged party exorcizing the evil that the perpetrator has foisted upon them. So can't you see that forgiveness is NOT for the benefit of the person who shits on the other person but for the person who is shit on? A good example.... a woman is raped but decides to forgive the rapist. Does anyone with even HALF a brain expect her to MARRY the rapist to complete the forgiveness? Of course not!

In the same way, if I forgive you, it's because of my grace and not because you DESERVE to be forgiven! Even tho a lot of you writers APPEAR to be smart and sharp with high IQ"s, you don't seem to know the meaning of forgiveness! (And yes I know that these are stories but most of them contain scenarios that COULD happen in real life).

BTW, this goes for MEN who cheat also!

a slut, a fucking pussy, and a bunch of assholes. yeah, very nice story.

It's kinda funny how people react to a freaking story. It happens though my ex brother and I put each other in the hospital over a woman. He thought what was mine he was entitled to.

Ralph should of stood up for himself along time ago...letting his brother fu** his girlfriends marks him as a wimp, wuss, and a cuckold.

deserved to lose her as he let his asshole brother get away with it....she is just a slut so well rid of her...

Good for them, but there is no way I could take her back

I'm amazed I've read the many comments and to see the number of people trying to make a work of fiction REAL is amazing!

Ask yourself a simple question!:

*Is Trudy real or made up from the imagination of HG Hear?

*Can brothers be that competitive they'd screw each others mate? (Okay, SOME ARE)

*Is the situation real or just a good idea for a story?

*Is HG Hear laughing at the number of people that think his writing is so good they think it's REAL?

Oh, this is a very good story.

To zarzoy14

My brother was just like Jake he always beat me up because I am Autistic and always took my girlfriends.When I met the girl who ended up my wife my mother told my brother to steal her away from me because she was a nice girl and would cool him down.My brother was like Jake,he actually got two girls pregnant while still at school.

My father was English and worked for Cable and Wireless in London but went to Huntsville Alabama a lot working on the space project.He met a girl and got married then had me.He never really lived with us as he was only in the US for a few months every year.We lived in a very big house on S Hull St,Montgomery with my papaw and mamaw.When I was five Mom told him she would not put up with the separation and wanted her husband with her.He could easily have got moved to US but refused and we went to UK with him.When we got here he already had another wife and son and mom was told she would have to be his mistress (he was a bigamist) she divorced him in US and had to leave UK by immigration but he had faked my birth certificate making me English and mom was forced (literally) to leave me behind.I grew up thinking his English wife and son were my mum and brother.When dad died I as 16 mum who really did nor like me saying I was damaged because I'm autistic told me the truth and I went to the US embassy for help.I was there for 4 hours and interviewed.When I left I had a US passport and a single air ticket to Atlanta and 1000 US$ When I got to Atlanta I used the phone number the guy at the Embasy gave me and was reunited with my real mom.This is all true.

So this story is not far fetched people behave badly and some people behave good.

Although your story about your family is a sad one but, you want to make a work fiction match your sad family tale. Or maybe the writer followed you around and wrote about you. Hell you should sue him for writing about your life.

Or maybe it really is a work of fiction and you should stop telling people about how fucked up your family IS!

This is a well crafted story that is well written.

I have to agree with Zatzoy and the Anonymous and all I can say is WOW. Both of your Moms won’t win any awards your brother is shit.

Now face facts I wouldn’t know anything about your family if you didn’t tell the people who read this story and comments. Stop and think what’s on the internet is there forever. Now everybody knows how screwed up your Moms are and that if your brother attempted or did take your wife how screwed he is.

Also if she left you to be with him, fuck them both she was worthless anyway.

Now stop talking about them unless you want to shame them then name, NAMES!

She liked but went to an orgy and intentionally had sex unprotected with his brother.

Then dated him and married him.

Hmmm she loved ralph? Really?

Like reconciliation stories and this is one but that said Ralph would have a tough time getting over her and Jake having sex as they would be together at family events and am sure Jake would needle him about sex with Trudy. Eventually his jealousy would surface and the marriage would not survive. At least in my opinion.

Trudy was a slut, and it's too bad Sylvia and Jake didn't end up with a nasty STD.

There's things I liked about the story and things I do not. There are sibling rivalries and I have seen the asshole brother run roughshod over the decent brother. The reason it happens could be the decent guy is a wimp, but it also that he just doesn't have it in his makeup to bring himself to his brother's level. Face it, sometimes the only way to beat crap is to be crappy back. To what end. That being said, my brother would have been dead a long time ago. I sure as hell would not be his best man.

It was good that Ralph found his balls. I think finding out that he is the father of a child he was already fond of helped him be the papa bear. Him stepping up to take care of his son is completely within his makeup. To him, it was the right thing to do.

I didn't see anything wrong Trudy going to the nude day and even getting some. Heck, Ralph was going to do the same. They both had reservations about going, but did not communicate to each and instead made it a secret. Where Trudy was wrong was banging the brother. I'm pretty sure if she caught Ralph banging her sister at the party who happened to be just as crappy as Jake, there would be hell to pay. That action is betrayal, which tends to be unforgivable.

What should he do? He cares for Trudy so that is to consider. The heart is a funny thing. He should take care of his son, be on good terms with his mother, but hesitant in starting a relationship let alone marriage. Trudy has shone herself to be untrustworthy. Take it slow, see where it goes, but no marriage consideration for at least five years so she can prove she is worth the risk. She went scorched earth on Ralph when she banged his brother. It's going to take time for the earth to grow back to where it was.

Dude do you have a fetish for getting your brother's sloppy seconds? Ralphie is a serious pussy. I doubt he could kick Jakes ass.

He lost every girl to his brother. Jake must love sloppy seconds too. This should've been posted in Gay Male.

Anon says Ralphie found his balls. Really? Because I must have missed that.

Harry and Risq hit the nail on the head.

I don't think DG Hear has ever been in a rivalry before.

Jake does nothing but win and Ralphie keeps losing like the little wimp he is.

You even made Jake out to be a good guy! Dude gets someone pregnant and he mans up and marries her. He didn't even like her.

So he cheats on her constantly and goes after a much hotter girl and he gets his free ticket out because it turns out the kid isn't even his! So he offs to Indiana without a care in the world. No alimony. No child support. His parents and friends still love him. Jake is a living legend. Even his parents are against Ralphie. Ralphie's mom was trying to blame him! Lol this family.

I'm surprised this story is rated well. LW fans don't usually like when the "bad guy" wins. This story he did nothing but win. Ralphie is a loser.

The characters did not fuck up, DGH fucked them up as he wrote this story. Ask DGH if he has family issues. Only rates three stars. New tag: Dysfunctional Families.

Some revenge/payback against his brother,would have made this a better story.

cheated on him becuase she was mildly annoyed at something his brother claimed he said

Cheating bitch will cheat again once reality sets in and her idealized fantasy of a life with her "real love" give way to mundane life and actual fights

Who is she going to go fuck once she gets really mad?

DG has finally let me down. The story was great until the last couple paragraphs. The author can certainly end his/her story any way they wish but this one seemed to just drop. I don't know if he got tired of writing and just quickly finished or not. But there was soooooo much baggage left on the front porch in the end that could have been unpacked, picked through and scrutinized. There is another 2-3 pages that could be explored into if or how they decide to work through things. I was looking forward to that and instead got an Acme anvil dropped on me. I would have really liked to see this one go a lot longer.

This story was straight forward with little to think about. Yet many of you found a way to assign blame.

What the hell, maybe the short bus should have had some people who thought they didn’t need to ride that bus. Not that if they were point blank told they would still have the same conclusion.

It would have been a better story if he got some payback on Jake like kicking seven kinds of shit out of him.

Ralph could have been shown to have some backbone at the end. His bullying, asswipe brother got away with too much. Since Ralph was finally "the same size" as Jake and had grown a pair of balls, why the hell did he not take his brother into his father's backyard and beat the shit out of him in front of that biased man?!! It would have partly made up for all the shit he took while growing up and later, having his girl friends stolen Jake was a real excuse for a brother and a man, encouraged by his father's attitude. Could have ended as a five star story but instead, ended with a whimper! 2*s.

Shoul have dumped his mother as well as Sylvia for condoning his brothers behaviour.

you could read the first few paragraphs - then skip to the last few and you covered the entire plot. Everything in between was just pure crap that can be found in most poorly written trash.

The girl was clearly wrong, the brother was stupid and also wrong. I’m not so sure about the mother once she figured out who was the father of her gradbaby is.

Drinking is not an excuse, the brother competing with his younger, again is stupid.

Who’s wrong it doesn’t matter, mom is going to have a granbaby.

To have children being jealous of one another means mom and dad did or didn’t do something for their children.

To whoever gets the kid keep him away from the grandmother on the fathers side.

If you read the story many of the kids fathers family is not fit and the mother’s fitness is questionable.

Title says most of what feel. Big brother needs a de-balling with a sharp knife. He is the guilty one all the way back to childhood. His parents were extremely biased about BB. That was the very starting point.

MS Trudy owns a big percentage as well as Jake,

David on the other hand was a patsy because he learned that was of survival where Jake is concerned. I am guessing he acts as the patsy in the rest of his life as well,

Trudy admittedly seemed like a badgirl starting out fucking 5 or 6 guys during Highschool and College before meeting Ralph then making mistake after mistake and ended up pregnant and marrying Ralphs brother Jake,knowing full well Trudy was in love with Ralph,but had a chance to tell Ralph she still loved him before marrying Jake but didn't,and so she stayed with Jake even tho she knew he was cheating on her.

But finally after over a year Trudy fessed up and told Ralph the truth but if Trudy and Ralph had just opened up and told each other they loved one another then they could have been together from the beginning instead of hiding the truth.Hopefully both Ralph and Trudy worked thru their problems,but still an okay story,not excellent.

Don't waste your time reading it.

Not a single character who had any redeeming qualities....made absolutely no sense reading.....misguided miscued and misled characters...I felt no sympathy for Ralph at all...he remained a wet rag throughout the story allowing his brother to shit all over him...never fought for himself!

Again wasted my time reading this drivel. Ralphie never learned his lesson, I hate authors who wrote the protagonist so whimpy and stupid. Minus 5 stars.

GREAT STORY DG, 5 STARS AS USUAL! DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL THE FUSS WAS ABOUT. HE LOVED HER BUT SHE MESSED UP AND HE HAD ALWAYS LOVED HER. FOUND OUT THE KID WAS HIS AND HE STILL LOVED HER. NOW THEY'RE WORKING ON THE SECOND GO ROUND! WHAT'S SO HARD ABOUT THAT?

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

There's something extra nasty about a skank being passed around between brothers.

A lot of your writing/stories are good. This was not one of them.

Ok premise, but needed a more complete ending.

This story deserves an acid review. If the rating scale allowed it, I would give it as negative rating of five stars.

This story contains four main characters (Trudy, Sylvia, Jake and Ralphie). Collectively, these characters have earned themselves three titles: slut-cheater-liar, dickhead-bully and wuss-wimp. By the way, the titles of the main characters can all be used cumulatively and more than once; they are permanent stigmas any way and they will never go away completely. At best, they may fade a little over decades or a lifetime. Even if Trudy eventually tries to come clean, the label of liar and cheater will remain a permanent stigma in the minds of all people who do not suffer from Alzheimer. Maybe, they all deserve one another; what do you think?

The secondary character, David, Trudy’s son, will never be able to erase completely his own original title and stigma of bastard. He is the permanent victim of the stupidity of adults. He did not ask to be born and he did not even participate in the pleasure frequently derived from the conception process! In real life, how many other little victims, like David, are there to confirm the stupidity of couples who go to college to party hard and have a good time?

My recommendation? Do not lose any time reading this story if you don’t want the aggravation it will generate in your gut. DG, this is NOT one of your good stories!

PS: Maybe, Literotica should consider adding a couple more categories to its list of options: how about victims, cockold and wuss-wimp? How about placing the reviews at the beginning of the story so the reader has an inkling of what is to come?

BJ

4, decent story, just felt the ending was too abrupt.

Good and well written story, but - again - a story that seems to get started with a lack of communication between two who are destined to be together. Then they rush off and do some really stupid things to what, hurt each other, enhance their ability to not communicate, or just continue to be bull headed and stubborn????

Then - we agree your ending- or lack there of - just about ruins your whole otherwise story arriving at a truly loving end and forever future together.

SW

He shouldve just supported his son, not get get back with the bitch. She's self centered and quite retarded

Pitty he never got to beat the shit out of his older brother. Good story, well told and presented.

Liked it. Good story love happy endings. LP

Great story, it was good Trudy and David got together being that David was little Davids biological father. The ending was a little abrupt as it needed to include Trudy and Davids marriage. Well done. 5-stars

STUPID RALPHIE SHOULD HAVE GROWN SOME BALLS AND KICKED THEM OUT PF HIS PLACE SAME TIME.

Trudy was a bitch too !! In all your fucked up stories there is limited population because the same cunts get recycled

THE PARENTS OF JAKE AND RALPHIE ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.....IT IS ALL ABOUT HOW THEY RAISED THEIR 2 BASTARD BOYS!!

Yeah,sure, it was Ralph's fault that Trudy fucked jake the first time, thank mom. It is never the woman's fault, mean always to blame. The stupid Trudy had feelings, had been multiple dates,but spread her legs for big brother the first time, but that wa Ralphs fault ,of course it is,mommy said so, and mommy is a total idiot.

Garbage logic... Ralph isn't to blame for the fact that she decided to fuck Jake. That's her choice. She went on three dates with Ralph before fucking and then on "Nude Day" decides to fuck Jake right away, just a dumb woman. Ralph should never go anywhere near her and should move away from his idiot family.