Where's the dialogue? The whole freaking thing was narative.
This wasn't very good. I expected better from you. You're a decent writer, but this was a total disappointment.
by
Anonymous06/22/09
good job of writing
I can't, in honesty, give you a very high mark on this story, simply because it isn't sexy enough. Its obviously true and well told, but bouncing breasts don't work; even if we imagine how racy that would have been 50 years ago.
Nice reminisce about America's second favorite pastime. I presume the favorite pastime would have been having sex with one team or the other--maybe both. Enjoyed your story.
by
Anonymous09/22/11
loved it
tell us more about Daisy Mae's succulent ass jiggling up and down
English
Dasiy Mae, and Honey!
Good luck in the contest Box
Total disappointment
Was this a story or a monologue?
Where's the dialogue? The whole freaking thing was narative.
This wasn't very good. I expected better from you. You're a decent writer, but this was a total disappointment.
good job of writing
I can't, in honesty, give you a very high mark on this story, simply because it isn't sexy enough. Its obviously true and well told, but bouncing breasts don't work; even if we imagine how racy that would have been 50 years ago.
Bat Her Up?
Little League was nothing like this. If it was I'd have gone to a lot more games. Good luck in the contest.
Sexy
A sexy and cute story. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Getting to third base
Nice reminisce about America's second favorite pastime. I presume the favorite pastime would have been having sex with one team or the other--maybe both. Enjoyed your story.
loved it
tell us more about Daisy Mae's succulent ass jiggling up and down
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