All Comments on 'Kirsten Ch. 01'

very interesting story, i hope to see it develope further.

Learn the differences between the following: to-too, where-were & your-you're (you are).

This is a fantastic story. I can’t wait to read the next installment.

As for Anonymous: I only noticed one error. Don’t judge too harshly now. This was one of the best stories I’ve read in a long time. There are many other stories out there that really need some attention.

hurry up and write the rest of the story!!!

There were indeed lots of grammar mistakes in the story. It makes reading difficult. Besides the storyline was just very normal, nothing to shout about and the sex act itself wasn't that steamy. Potentiality of a continuation? Maybe. But definitely needs a lot of work.

This is an interesting beginning, but there are a lot of little errors that if fixed, would make it flow better. For example, "Please, Richard, don't." The commas there are a) proper grammar and b) make it read more easily. There were a couple of things that struck me in other areas -- she has a "Victorian" dress, which tends to bring to mind some rather prudish morals (whether that's right or not). Yet she has no problem being naked in a strange place? When she sees Richard naked, you say she's a virgin, but somehow she's seen enough penises before to make a comparison? That doesn't sound right.

I hope we find out how she came to be there, why he needed/wanted her, etc. Questions like those need answers. :)

hi everybody, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and thanks for the helpful comments. this is my very first story on the site, and i hope to add many more! thanks again everyone!! :)

Pretty good story for your first attempt!