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Dressed in White Ch. 01

byRaquel_Mulgrew©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous06/24/09

Its simply divine

Being a virgin, bride-to-be myself, this piece of literature has really touched my soul... perfect description.. loved it so much.. :-)

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by Anonymous06/24/09

slow

In fact very very slow. Too much narrative... not enough dialogue. It's almost always better to utilize dialogue as it puts the reader into the story. If those were the only words spoken the marriage is in deep shit.

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by RyanBlack06/24/09

As Usual

delicious!

you are phenomenal with your use of imagery

Great work as usual.

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by PennLady06/24/09

Not terribly romantic

At least, not yet. I sensed no love between the two characters. Maybe that will come with further installments, and more info about the characters. But so far you seem to have the inexperienced innocent and a "master," even if it's not going that route. There is a lot of exposition here, and turning some of it into dialogue would have broken things up a little.

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