by DavidMcenroe
Good start - could be the beginning of a very hot story. Please continue !
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Some of the worst, most unrealistic dialogue ever! Sorry, but people, (real, human, non-cybog people), just don't talk like this.
The story was ok. I'm a regular reader and the story could use some more intensity and lust. Other stories I have read were better. This one coule use a little more sex in it hope you have a sequal with more.
You should spend more time on the modeling. This was simply too fast. It needs more of a buildup.
And if you can't love them, at least get into their panties.
... but it could be better. And WHAT part of the male anatomy is the 'prostrate?'
I believe you mean the 'prostate.' Well intentioned, but fell well short of the mark.
Anny nonomous.