All Comments on 'Local is as Local Does'

and so appropriate but, sadly, unlikely to get through to where it is most needed ie to stem the flow of poorly thought through criticism based purely on isolationism. Perhaps the eds would prefer to see "real english" in the foreign language category!!!

So glad you wrote this hobbit.

I sometimes write in Scots: it's where I live, it's how I speak. I refuse to compromise on my linguistic birthright. It has given the world some of its greatest literature.

And like you, I am tired of how many US citizens (I refuse to call them the arrogant 'American' - Americans can come from anywhere from Tierra del Fuego to Baffin Island) seem to think that THEIRS of the only English there is.

Linguistic diversity is what keeps language alive.

May all of us celebrate it.

Being another Brit (albeit one who now lives in that isolated little backwater know as Mainland Europe) I totally agree with your assessment. Although I don't have the academic background I am also fascinated by language, particularly the many variations of English spoken around the world. Interestingly American English pronunciations and usages bear a much closer resemblance to the language spoken in 17th C England than does modern British English. Possibly the lines of Shakespeare recited in a New England accent would be closer to what the Bard himself would have heard than the same lines spoken by a modern Englishman. As for American English spelling, the dropping of the silent "u" and other simplifications were the result mainly of one man's effort to De-Anglicise the English language spoken in America after the split from England. I have rambled on long enough. Perhaps we British contributors to LE should form a Campaign for Real English :-)

I use the word arse, not ass in my stories. They're based in Britain and we say arse. Ass to me is a quadruped and if people can't accept that, then it's their problem, not mine.

What amazes me is when you get [usually cowardly anonymous] feedback like that, is how rude they are about it and it just shows how incredibly ignorant people are about how different people speak in different parts of the world.

I am sure it's the same with Spanish Spanish and South American Spanish.

So, good article.

I use the word arse, not ass in my stories. They're based in Britain and we say arse. Ass to me is a quadruped and if people can't accept that, then it's their problem, not mine.

What amazes me is when you get [usually cowardly anonymous] feedback like that, is how rude they are about it and it just shows how incredibly ignorant people are about how different people speak in different parts of the world.

I am sure it's the same with Spanish Spanish and South American Spanish. So, good article.

And I wonder what people would say if they hear the Indian version of English ( the Asian Indian, not the Red Indian !. The population of India is 1 billion plus - even if half of them speak English it is 500 million - and their use of English is a bit different at times. (e.g. you might be asked to "enter through the backside" - which means that you are to use the rear entrance of a house ! (See Oxford Dictionary - Indian English). So if you are reading a story written by an Indian author - be prepared - they use the 'local dialect'. That is one of the reasons why there are less Indian authors here - they are kind of 'pissed off' about the 'nose turned up in the air ' attitude. I hope your article serves to make the arseholes ? assholes? (darn, you know what I mean) think twice and put in creative criticisms from now on. And by the way, I am from Nepal ! Anyone know where that is ? My native language is not English, I may not be very good in the use of the English language - but I'll be damned if there is any native English speaker from any part of the world who doesn't understand what I want to say. Cheers ! (Scotland anyone ?)

I have had similar comments to yours about my stories, and in one or two cases absolutely venomous ones because I have commented on criticims to other authors' stories. Note - I commented on the criticisms and not the stories but I have received abusive emails afterwards especially condemning Brits as being small-minded, illiterate, and a set of wankers (to quote from one email).

Good for you with this article. English English (as opposed to US English)writers of the world - UNITE. Let's show them who speaks correct English!

As an American who has rarely left these shores, I ENJOY the use of other version of English. To hear that someone is not within cooee or they are at a public house just helps to say, "We're not in Kansas anymore!" It is culture than should be embraced and enjoyed.

If any troll doesn't like your local English terms, they should turn off the computer and go down to McDonalds or Walmart where variety is just the name of a magazine.

As an American who has visited Britain many times and once lived there for nine months, I agree with the thrust of this essay. However, because they are the words I have heard and used all my life, American terms are more effective than their British counterparts in conjuring up an erotic image. E.g, 'she pulled down her silk panties' arouses me in a way that 'she pulled down her silk knickers’ does not. In the same vein, 'he caressed her smooth round ass' is more erotic to me than 'he caressed her smooth round arse.' When I admire a pretty girl as she walks by, the concepts in my mind are her panties and her ass, not her knickers and her arse.

Of course it is just the opposite for readers in Britain and all those other countries you colonized over the centuries. But I wonder if some of your American critics are not subconsciously expressing the idea that, for them, usage of British terms reduces the erotic impact of what they are reading.

You do yourself no honor to call Americans provincial or stupid for this criticism. It is in fact a natural result of the way all humans use their own written language to form images in their mind.

What a wonderful essay!

Very accurate.

Your rejoinder was well deserved. Unfortunately, there are some readers of Literotica who have limited experience of the world and think their way of speech is the only way there is.Personally, I find variations in the Queen's English charming as they lend local flavor to the story.I find "arse" and "bum" sexier and more arousing than the more common "ass'.I am even willing to put up with grammatical errors as long as the story is hot. By the way, inspite of my pen name,I am not of British origin. I enjoy your submissions. Keep writing and don't pay attention to the mean-minded criticism of anonymous arseholes (or assholes as the case may be).

In a generation or two there may be no recognizable "english" to american english. Example:

I don c wer u can btch abot americen langwage beng so tuf to us

(I don't see where you can bitch about American Language being so tough to use.)

I men the werld f3arz us en we er the werlds #1 supapower rite

(I mean, the world fears us, and we are the world's number one Superpower, right?)

Who needs a lexicon when you can type in emoticons, or when whole generations of American youth learn to txt msg w shrthnd lik: I so <3 u dud... and it becomes endemic.

Somehow I fail to envision this taking root (as opposed to route, or rout) in China.

What isn't lost to them is homogenized through media, either through misuse or eradication of local vernacular usage.

This was so well thought out, and as a fellow englishman, as well as a Yorkshireman, (And Proud of it), I found it a chuckle a minute, (A chuckle is a small laugh for those that do not know), and as for the differences in US english, and British english, (Or The Queens english), I Firmly believe that you should write what you know, and leave it at that

your personal opinion about something you believe is actually important enough to write a mini tome to refute all Americans and American english usage and we also get a dose of your socio/political beliefs along the way. Ain't that so very nice of you.

I don't recall any real American asking your opinion on your subject matter so shut the hell up puta ! Get over it, move on and get a life !

I'd like to add that in non-English speaking countries (well here in France at least), Britain English (as opposed to US english) is considered as the "true" English language. It's Britain English that's taught first in school. It's only after 4 or 5 years of study (when the basics are acquired) that American vocabulary is introduced and accepted.

And from an external point of view, I think Britain English is richier, more subtil, and more poetic maybe, than American English.

I have a book that speaks to this very subject. I bought it over thirty years ago. At times small minds complain about the stupidest things. Good job.

Tony

Consider, if you will, the dilemma we Canadians face. A British heritage dominated by American Television values. We are the "lost in space" partners in the English language debate. Our dearly loved neighbours don't understand us any better than you. Apparently, we talk "funny."

My American editor, who I value highly, is convinced a bum is a derelict man. I, on the other hand, look at it as not only as a shapely backside, but a request to borrow a fag.

Coaster2

Just FYI, the 'airse/aerse' pronounciation is really only applicable to aussies from the country, and maybe Queensland. Most of us (Sydney, Melbourne, Perth, Adelaide, and some of Brisbane, which collectively make up about 85% of the countries population) pronounce it the British way 'arse' or perhaps the slightly my course 'ahrse'.

I happen to agree with nearly everyone posted here. What EVERYONE needs to remember is that the world is a much smaller place than it was a century ago. All languages throughout the world have adapted words and/or saying from others. In the area of the American Midwest that I am from (Wisconsin), many of the local sayings and can be traced back to an ENGLISH interpretation of other languages - predominantly German, Norwegian, or Native American. The fact that the majority of the settlers in pioneer times spoke a language other than British English can make for interesting conversations - even with our neighbors across the road. This is no different than any other part of the world.

Please don't misunderstand me. Just because the words in a story are not 'normal' to the reader doesn't make them wrong. A little research and open mindedness on the part of the reader can go a long way.

Confidential to my Canadian friends: I personally have an easier time understanding you that my friends in the Southern American States.

I see 'Obamanation' has yet again embarrassed himself and betrayed his bigotry by shooting his mouth off in a manner that illustrates all too (not 'to' or 'two') clearly that he never actually comprehended the words that passed before his eyes. If he were to put his brain in gear before rereading the article, he may come to realise that at no stage does the author decry American English but merely pleads for reciprocal acceptance for non-US English. After all, the rest of us accept that when an American mentions 'football' he is refering to that game of theirs that's a little like an odd version of rugby with armour and a World Series refers to a US national final in a sport that few others play, so the author should be praised for putting in print something that really needed saying.

Nothing annoys me more than someone from another country trying to correct my speech, especially people from the US. I am an Aussie and was well educated at school. I criticise not criticize, say arse not ass and write dates dd/mm/yy. Even the spell checker on my computer trys to correct my arse off.

I simply tell them that it is called English for a very good reason, not American but English, and it should be spoken like that.

As for the punctuation rules, I have a number of stories that have been rejected by this site due to their version of punctuation.

Great article, keep up the good work.

As a yank who lived in the UK for 10 years back in the 70's and learnt to speak proper, I applaud you.

I've been back in the States for over 25 years and I still spell "check" cheque, "humor" humour and pronounce schedule and aluminum correctly.

And am still loath to use the word "fanny" in mixed company.

As an American it drives me insane when I see other Americans saying stupid things like "It's honor not honour". This coming from people who supposedly enjoy reading? People who read a lot should know this! PLUS even if you don't...we were all required to read the same classics in high school...does no one remember how the language was very different from book to play to story depending on the dialect of the region? Argh...they come off not only sounding ethnocentric, but pretty dumb. And they just propagate the whole "stupid self-centered American" image!

Russell Crowe, despite what the Australian media think, is a New Zealander (e.g. "Australian actor nominated for Oscar" but "Drunken New Zealand actor throws mobile phone"). We still care about him, despite his appalling taste in Sydney rugby league clubs (I mean, the Rabbitohs??!! come on, maaaate!).

So, only <i>one</i> commenter triggered this essay? If so, what a large reaction for a small action. I suspect that there were prior conversations or comments that added to your essay.</p>

I have no problems with variations in spelling. My only annoyance with variance in usage is when it is done poorly. Occasionally an author will set a story in the US and use a British colloquialism, or vice versa. Other than that, I enjoy learning from context what "new" expressions mean. And if context doesn't help, google is a wonderful tool!

That said, while your commenter is a "donkey" and obviously too parochial, many of the other comments here are also knee-jerk. You feel that Americans misjudge you based on little or no contact, but you would never do that to Americans, right? Here are a few things to consider in your "back of the envelope" calculations: </p>

From your numbers, America has 75% of native English speakers. Is it so surprising that it drives most of English usage? The minority is always aware of the majority. While the rest of the Anglosphere is large enough to influence, it's not enough to dominate. So don't be surprised that US editions use alternate spelling, or encourage changes "for an American audience." There is enough business involved that the authors happily cooperate in the dilution of the language and the audience is often unaware of the practice.</p>

<i>The developed world today gets most of its English usage from one source -- Hollywood and the American media... and there seems to be an assumption among some Americans that (of course) everyone in the world now talks like that. Wrong.</i> </p>

Absolutely wrong. Most Americans know this because <i>they</i> don't talk like that. In fact, not everyone in Hollywood talks like that. Movies focus on the exotic. Judging American language by television and movies (or is that "film" or "cinema"?) is as reliable as judging England by "Are You Being Served?" Unless the accent is necessary to a character, it is scrubbed. News readers adopt a bland pronunciation if they have national ambitions. Come to think of it, I rarely hear Michael Caine's lovely full Cockney accent, even when he is being interviewed out of character.</p>

The US is about 97% of the size of Europe as a whole. (Though I suppose I could go ahead and call that even since you consider 200 and 300 million roughly equal. : ) ) A well-travelled American can easily log more miles without leaving his country than a well-travelled European traveling his continent and is much more likely to relocate over 1000 miles from his birthplace. In many instances he would encounter a large variation in both culture and language. To think that there is one version of English spoken across the entire continent is simplistic. Yet many otherwise worldly people are convinced that the US is one culture populated by some 300 million cowboys and gun-toting gangsters.</p>

A young man in Philadelphia touting his "nu bahnce sneakers" is talking about his "New Balance" brand trainers. No one in his father's generation would say it that way. If "Mr. Oy-skin" says he has "some earl in his car," it's probable that Mr. Erskine, who is obviously an older man from Queens (a borough of New York city), is referring to lubrication rather than a member of the peerage. Is "barbecue" a noun or a verb? Depends on where you live. Is President Clinton a Yankee? Only in other countries; within the US, residents of only eight states are considered "Yankees." And BTW, that's never ever "Yanks." </p>

Now there are many Americans who are not fully aware of these variations. Why? Because local writers use local expressions and national writers seek to be understood rather than colorful. When this is the difference between local favorite and national bestseller, you can hardly blame them. </p>

My advice is to use whatever dialect you wish, as long as you know it well, but be consistent and don't distract from the story. And don't be above putting a footnote or comment explaining a turn of phrase. I love to learn!

Once again I feel I must comment. A rather wonderful discussion stimulated by the use (or mis-use) of language, especially the "English" variety!!It seems more and more aposite that the old adage "Britain and America, two friends separated by a common language".

A great discussion and one in which I think should open the eyes of those who dont know or understand that there are other places in the world and that perhaps, just maybe, they did invent things first, like "English"

Bless you all and if this is all we can find to discuss then the world may just have a hope!!

According to the most recent statistics 120 million Indians speak English as their first language and 320 million speak it everyday because it is the language of business. Perhaps in 100 years British and American English will have succummed to Indian English!

Having just read this revised version of your essay I would like to add a little observation on how English is spoken by non-native speakers.<br><br>

I now live in France and have found, as another commentator mentioned, the the French mainly use British constructions, spelling and grammar when they speak or write in English. Inevitably though, Americanisms do creep in because of the overwhelming influence of the sheer volume of U.S. film and TV output. My French teacher speaks English with a slight Yorkshire twang. However this is because she spent several years living and working in that county and is married to a Yorkshireman.<br><br>

I digress! I have worked on many occasions in Germany and noticed regional variations in the way that English is spoken in that country. These variations match almost exactly the nationality of the Allied Forces that occupied that particular region (or sector) in the years following WW2.<br><br>

And finally. I was recently given a US copy of a book by one of my favourite British authors. It reads significantly differently to other of his books in the same series. I really must try and buy another copy "in the original" so I can make a direct comparison. But I do suspect that it has been "massaged" by an American editor to better suit that readership.

What can one say? This was obviously a critique on the US english speaking persons who know no better than to criticise other cultures and peoples for not "speaking proper American". I have had conversations with Americans who think that as a nation they invented everything, from the television to the internal combustion engine (both of which were invented by Scots ) and find the language that they like to correct quite laughable. I applaud you for your stories and will continue to enjoy them, no matter what our colonial cousins may say......

Pretty interesting

Even I had to realize the differences between the british english I learned at school and the american English.

But as you point out very nicely it’s also a great instrument for influencing the flair of a story.

And it’s also fun to read! ;-D

If you ever get tired of arse or ass you may think about using ‘Po’ (which is the german term for bum and is pronounced like the italian River) and laugh into totally confused faces probably thinking about poo or something … ;-)

Thank you for writing this. You've summed up in one Essay the sort of problems I encounter on all of my stories. I also use English, not US English, and have always found problems with critics in the US refusing to accept this. Keep up the good work.

Hi bad_hobbit,

I don't know if anyone else has told you, but the reason why we speak, particularly, a different English from Aussies, Poms and Canucs is because of the prevalence of Polynesian words in our everyday speech. There's only 17 letters in most Polynesian languages (transliterated by English ministers of religion) and the vowel sounds are different from any other English vowels. Maori has many words starting with the letter aitch (h) and us Kiwis always sound our aitches. You won't see a real Kiwi saying "an hotel" (an 'otel) as the rest of you seem to do, is is "a hotel".

The vowel a is pronounced as "ar", e is "air", i is "ee", o is "or" and u is "oo". Most Kiwis and Polynesians speak English with the vowel sounds shifted one place to the right, if you like. There are two double consonants sounded as a single one, "wh" is a "f" and "ng" is as in "sing". Blame the scholars produced by the British religious establishment for those problems. And, BTW, in Fiji the letter c is pronounced as a "th" sound as in "thing", every d in a word is an "nd" sound and every b is an "mb" sound. Finally a q is an "ngg" sound like an extended end of the word "sing". In Fiji Beqa is pronounced Mbengga. Australians pronounce their Beqa just as it looks!

Regards, Lin

linmhall@gmail.com

Love the article even so, its a but tame.

I've been posting on lit.com since 2002, I recon I could just use 02, as we are some 18 years into the 21st century.

Anyway in that time I've, like yourself had some interesting. If not bloody rude comments, about my language. That is why on my profile, I state that live in England (The old one).

However this still doesn't stop the comments like; "The scene was predictable, as was the description of the activities. However, the language was out of a Harlequin novel. I lost interest half way through" So why did knobhead keep reading and comment? Below I replied with an explanation, about the story being for the ladies.( Well I prefer hearing from the ladies. Better to hear you made my pussy wet, than my dick hard.) My first story Magic medicine, achieved my first comment, on my work in less than 24 hours. Plus it was the start of a very rewarding online, symbiotic relationship, of which, Ding Dong is the final, well, maybe final installment.

Using the right disruptions for location and time, I agree whole heartedley . Some readers cannot get the idea, that there is more than pussy. Had one chap get most upset when I used the term Mons Venus.

Having traveled a tad, 54 countries so far. I agree that the US is a very close minded nation. Having had death threats, when telling them that their real problem isn't terrorism, but home grown killings of around 13000. Because of their gun laws.!!!!!

But let's keeping fighting for the right to write in English, English. With descriptive dialogue to suit. Although my own writing will amble around esturean English to antipodean, the latter being an amalgamation of Cockney and West Country English. I think it might loosely called my style.

I've now moved to Wales, Cymru so I will put that on my profile, that's lovely for you!

Spot on and well said.

Pisses me off when the yanks try and throw their weight around on the language front.

As for the spelling..... sheesh, yikes and bugger me.

I for one (and a fellow writer) thoroughly enjoy your works and more power to you pen.

Shenachie2010 (Scot)

I’m an American of Irish heritage who was drawn to British Literature from an early age. God knows why! My life was one of football (with shoulder pads) and baseball and considered myself a “jock” at 14. But as a voracious reader I’d already devoured the works of Scott, Doyle, Wells, Swift, Tolkien and Orwell.

It’s actually difficult to be an Anglophile when your great-grandfather was IRA, but I disassociated myself from the politics.

Eventually I earned a PhD in English with a focus on Renaissance English Lit (mostly Shakespeare) and taught Brit Lit for Decades.

Not to put too fine a point on it, most Americans don’t even realize there’s more world out there. Part of it is geographic distance making it expensive to tour the rest of the world, but most of it is blind ignorance and blind “patriotism”. Do you have so many ignorant fools in the UK?

Anyway, I’m glad that most UK writers don’t use the older term “fanny” for pussy. In the US that means “ass/arse/butt” and indicated an entirely different point of entry.

Love your recent work. Keep producing.

An excellent piece of prose. The dog bollocks nowt wrong wi it at all.