Your lead in and set up was fine, even some good basic character development, but then you shifted to a wham-bam-thank-you-mame ending that ruined the whole thing.
The writing is technically good, I thought, but rushed to contact. The progression up to Kate's visit is informative and well-paced, but the rush to orgy, following Kim's several caustic protests and warnings, is implausible.
I know it is not one of my best efforts...It was part of that series starting with Mistaken Identity, then Temp Job, then Locked Inside, then this where I end up in relatively humorous situations that result in sex...I think since this was the last, I probably got bored...also, it is not really in the right category, but that is where the site put it, not me...I appreciate the feedback...
English
Good start, poor finish
Your lead in and set up was fine, even some good basic character development, but then you shifted to a wham-bam-thank-you-mame ending that ruined the whole thing.
Yeah, too fast
The writing is technically good, I thought, but rushed to contact. The progression up to Kate's visit is informative and well-paced, but the rush to orgy, following Kim's several caustic protests and warnings, is implausible.
You guys are right
I know it is not one of my best efforts...It was part of that series starting with Mistaken Identity, then Temp Job, then Locked Inside, then this where I end up in relatively humorous situations that result in sex...I think since this was the last, I probably got bored...also, it is not really in the right category, but that is where the site put it, not me...I appreciate the feedback...
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