Nic and Sophia Ch. 01

good stuff

you know, im glad it wasnt too sappy because i actually liked it. the vocab, grammar, etc were all good and the plot kept me interested. keep it up.

Very good.

It was very good. It kept me interested and i'm looking forward to more.

Oh yea

Oh I can't wait to see what comes next! Hurry please

SWEET...

and spicy!! youve got me hooked and now i want to know their story ASAP!!

Sweet & Simple

I liked the story. You write very well. Keep up the good job. Looking forward for more. Thanks for sharing.

Buy a dictionary

The word is CULINARY, not cookery.

Can't wait for more

Loved it!

Editor

You switch tenses WAY to much. Your really going to benefit from an editor. Otherwise not a bad story.

Good Start and I commend on trying it American

Thanks. Nice start. But as you might not and others did not, some phrase may noy translate smoothly, so the editor (hopefull american or one pretty intune with Amer. cul. vs London) would be a great ideal. I only comment because you decided to set the story in the States. Good Luck & I'll look for future updates and hopefully soon so we all don't forget the story. Lakergirl

I have no idea what led me to read

this but I'm glad I did! I enjoyed it very much and I do confess that I'm finding it difficult to believe this is the first time you've written and posted a story! I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your story. Please don't make us wait too long.

Hurry...

Hurry please with part two!! I want to know what happens next....

I like your storyline but

the tenses switched a lot. It was distracting and made it more difficult to read. Do you have an editor? That would help enormously. I do like your story so I hope you continue. An editor would just be icing on the cake.

Good story with some flaws detracting

I agree with some of the other comments. I like the flow of the story, and the characters are intriguing. However, the changes in tenses and inconsistencies in tones detracts from the overall feel of the story, preventing it from being great. Good start, though; keep on writing.

Love It

love the story are you going to ever finish it..????

great start

This is an interesting start to a story. I hope you continue it soon.

this really needs to be finished like ASAP!!!!

When u gonna finish?

Story

It was a nice start, now, when are you going to add/finish?

Seriously??

You really just abandoned this story??

a 1 for not finnishing it a complete waste of time