All Comments on 'Young Lust Ch. 01'

Loved it. Now for chapters two through ten.

hot but when you switched the POV, i think you should like make announce it instead of letting the reader find out

You should not only use a series of asterisks or something to let us know about the change of view, but you might also try to make the changes begin and end in the same place...in other words, if HIS point of view ends that night, have HERS end with that night also.

The action was hot and very entertaining, but the point-of-view change was confusing at first. Now that Anita is in on the step-siblings, I hope that you will make more of an attempt to make sure that we know who is narrating the story.

Great job!

The POV changes were too erratic to make this story readable, and if I have to struggle to read a story, it doesn't get read.

I thought it was a great chapter and can't wait to read the rest of the story. Thank for your story.

never change the point of view in a story if you want to tell both sides write two chapters one from each point of view doing it your way only serves to confuse the reader i didn't finish this chapter and will not read the others not worth the trouble tring to figure out who is speaking

This was a really bad story. It is poorly written and not at all interesting.

After reading this story I have to wonder what prompted the previous anonymous comment.

I found it well written and it certainly held my interest.

The other anonymous comments do have a point. Changing point of view like you did does make it a little bit difficult to get into. That said, I loooved the story! I still gave it 5 stars!!

Cool story bro. Point of views made it difficult but nice to hear both sides. Thought they would fuck but nope

thx i loved the point of view but as stated above a little break the change

find a good editor and do a total rewrite on ALL of your stories. the point of view change was very distracting and VERY POORLY done it ruined the story. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR BEFORE POSTING. EITHER DO IT RIGHT OR DON'T BOTHER DOING IT AT ALL. FIX IT OR DELETE IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fairly interestingstory idea, but I agree with others about the POV problems, and things went on and on too long to hold interest. Give it enough to make it tantalizing, then finish.

Great first chapter. Looking forward to the rest of them.

I'm sure the story would have been great to read but I couldn't get past the punctuation, the point of view dialog, back-and-forth. I couldn't keep track of it. It was so bad that I just had to quit