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Great first story.
Wonderful beginning, you should continue with this story. I loved reading it & I can't wait to read what happens next.
First Story...
As a first story it was ok but there were to many holes in it. If your mother just told you that she had not had sex with your father for five years would you ask why first before planning on having sex with him the next night. You give the impression that both mother and daughter have a healthy and honest relationship yet you offer no proof of it. A good story but you needed to build on the characters more.
Long way to go
You are either very young or just lack the ability to tell a story . Most people can write ,however few can write well I guess she lost her cherry in her dreams since she felt no pain . How selfish of him to just get his rocks off and not spend time first putting his daughter more at ease and getting her excited and wet ; but then again , I care about making the female happy first and myself second .
Anonymous in Scotland
Hey Anonymous in Scotland guy. I know we all can't be certified story telling geniuses. And I'm sure you feel very comfortable with yourself hiding anonymously in Scotland. So she wrote a fantasy, big deal. It's not like we're going for award winning material here on a website dedicated to a form of porn. So the husband/father jumped in, got his jollies, and left daughter not sated. Though I'm sure she had been excited the entire day just thinking about what was to come - AND lastly their is a major epidemic of hymens being broken outside of sex with or without the introduction of toys just cause of a vast increase in female activity in every day affairs. Please stop diluted your ideals on writing on others creative works and stick to actually making criticism thats worth a damn.
Anony in Scotland had a point and it was not
mentioned in the story. The nit in the USA was so up on his high horse he missed what was a good point. Everyone doesnt have to like a story, I liked this one. And valid points come from negative as well as positive comments. She is writing well and will develop and I will read it again if I get the chance. Red
get real !
Now Dad is not gonna take his virginal daughter like a used slut and break her cherry with one hard swift thrust and drive her in the bed,,,not very good.
DUH!
Don't know why his wife has avoided him for five years?
Because he is a brutal, selfish pig. Your story is a total turn-off.
Interesting angle
A little too easy but interesting.
A FANTASTIC BIRTHDAY GIFT WAS HAD
GREAT FIRST STORY NOW FOR THE NEXT PART.
Great 1st Story
To all the critics: Have you submitted any stories yourself, or do you just go around dishing out pot-shots?
If a man really hasn't had sex in 5 years and his nubile young daughter is offering herself to him.... Well, maybe he just couldn't control himself, ha ha.
Keep Writing!
I came so fucking hard! Do it again!
My god! YES! My wife was just sucking my cock as she fingered her hot wet dripping pussy all the while I was reading this out to her. She sucked me deeper and deeper making my throbbing cock swell. The large head of my cock burned from the throbbing as she pulled off and kissed it and went down again sucking and smiling.
Thick jets of cum blasted from my balls where her sexy well painted nails teased softly, and gobs of cum ran in thick ropes into her mouth. It was hard but I got out every word cumming and reading your story.
Thanks Baby!
Happy Hubby and Cock Sucking Wife
HaHa, class.
Loved it.
A
Not the typical cherry breaking story. Might be the way the writer lost her's though. Dad is a bit of a brute. Shouldn't mother have joined them to guide her daughter's first sex? Maybe make her husband slow down and take his daughter lovingly and slowly. I feel sure that dad could have let his little girl suck his cock and enjoyed his first cum, after five years, he surely would have gotten hard again. Daughter should have been shaved for her daddy. After all, her mother had given her a bath in preperation. I'd like to see another go at this or a continuation.
is there a jock/stud son ???
like to have mom and dad now share their stud/jock muscled son(s).... both...totally..in all hot sexed ways...all...totally
It is great sex story
I som 50.years old need more like this story
Great Story
Loved the story!
PAIGE HER DADDYS PRESENT....
NICE I LOVE THIS KIND OF STORY AND YOU DID A FUCKIN GREAT JOB
OF IT BUT YOU DIDN'T TELL USE WHY HIS WIFE STOPPED FUCKING HIM
ALL IN ALL AND WITH THAT ENDING I GIVE YOU A 5 PLUS STARS....
.............................R.................... ...............
More please
chapter 2 needs to be written soon. Maybe dad & daughter could run away & Mary each other so they can continue the relationship.
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