All Comments on 'The Slut Within'

by Chimpanzee

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  • 7 Comments
fastandsloppyfastandsloppyover 14 years ago
I love a good gangbang story

Although I thought the story's action could be fleshed out a little more and I think your heroine's character needs to be better developed, I liked the topic of your story a great deal. So, on balance I would rule it a good read.

I love a stories about hot women taking multiple cocks in every hole (all of my posted stories have that element in common), public sex and promiscuous women. I particularly like the theme of brave women embracing the slut persona despite the disapproval of society.

Keep the stories coming. If you ever need a proof reader, I'd be more than willing help.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Agree with the previous comment

The message of your story was good, but it needs many more details, especially the part about the frat party.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Prio respondent

The story had potential, but it seemed to be all over the place. The story needed more structure and a foundation. The story seemed rushed as opposed to a build-up to the gangbang.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Great gangbang, real training for a slut or whore.

As a doctor she has basically ended her career. Such a history isnt what most hospitals want interns with and since she is now a gangbang girl the diseases she will acquire will end her career early enough.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
agree with the others

good constructive feedback here.

The story idea was hot, but you need to slow down a little and spend more time on buildup and development, plus more description.

evelynbellevelynbellover 12 years ago
fantastic

this was really, really hot! great job!

MonsterPopMonsterPopover 11 years ago
Could be further improved...

Could be further improved by writing more how Rachel was gangbanged by her schoolmates instead of going straight to the end after people have cummed in her holes for once :) Still I think you have described the characters and the scene quite well, I'll be looking forward to a sequel :)

Anonymous
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