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English
Not sure
I think this is a good start, but of course, I'm confused. I realize you've left hints of things and intend to get in to them, but you may have left too many holes. Who is this girl? What's her name? What happened to her? As for big -- how big? Seriously obese? Or the kind overweight many people are? I'm afraid in your effort to keep details back for later revelation, you may have withheld too many at the start.
Would like more
I think it's off to a pretty good start. I'd like to see where the story goes.
I'd like to talk to you on few things.
1) It was a good effort. 2) Your "testing the water" story is pretty good. 3) I really want to see where you'll take this story, it looks interesting. 4) Most Important -- Who we, the readers are to decide whether you should OR should not post the next chapter. When you decided to write a story -- complete it & POST it. You did a good job, just require some "Fine Chopping" Please continue this story. Thanks for the story & looking forward for MORE.
Boring!!!
Boring!!!
A couple paragraphs of random vampire
Why am I reading about the daily life of a fat chick with a bad back? Like, what? And I still don't feel like I know anything worthwhile about her even after all that.
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