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English
Had a great beginning .......
Hi,
I'm not into pain so it was not one of my favourites.
Would love to read about a man in the same situation but this time his entire body would be teased, tickled, stroked, sucked, fucked, fondled, caressed and massaged.
Look forward to reading more of yours .... you may have already written a similar one.
Thank you,
Dave
sorry
This started so well but it ended up being a list. The Idea was good but you need to flesh things out more, add more feelings into it.
wtf?
wtf?
Not realistic at all.
How could a man let himself be handled that way.I meen all the times they release his arms ,he could have hit one in the nose ,and a least hurt a other one.Plus he has the address of the house to come back and teache the bitches a lesson . Evan a submissive male would have been affraid for his life ,they could have killed him or cut his balls off.Fiction is nice but be realistic.
Right, just a list
Gothgoddess is right; this is just a list of unmotivated random activities. Seems that chatbug wrote down what just happened to pop up in his mind.
There was no development, no plot. Why would for women go to the trouble of capturing a male just to beat his cock and whip him? Four women could spend an afternoon in more enjoyable ways.
Chatbug, you have a tendency to switch tense. You started in past, but about in the middle you changed into present tense.
I recommend a reliable proof-reader who might show you not only errors of this kind but could also point out the flaws in a story.
Jail
That's where he'd send them all. The only question would be does he send them to jail or the hospital. Once he was loose, even trying to grab his balls would not have worked. One squeeze and she would have been out cold on the floor. Any man reacts badly to that kind of treatment. Even at the end - they put him out and "lock" the door? Most deadbolts won't stop a well placed kick. He'd be right back in for his clothes and a little payback. Too many holes in this tale.
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