by bonnietaylor
A redemption chapter. Not too often you see one of these. Not that it needs another chapter, but I'm kinda wondering how Jason deals with being put down by the man he views as a lower life form. Can the super ego deal with it, or does he loose it? My vote would be on loosing it. Ego's are like balloons the more you inflate the easier to pop, and the more dramatic the deflation.
A great ending, and I like how Eddie finally found someone he could think enough of and stand for her. Thanks Bonnie for the very good story.......Rich
Eddie grows some balls and how it ended is so erotic . The best story here!!
stories. He should be banned from this site.
It looks like you have started thinking with <b>Cool Head</b> I'm glad that you've given some thoughts & I'm happy to see the change<p>Last time I gave only 50, but this time a 100 from me<p>Keep it up & always sit back, relax & think.
wanted. To the person below, I just write the story and hope you'll read it for entertainment and not anything else. Thanks for your reply!
Eddie puts up with this shit cause he loves it and he loves Carmen. Now after having a good fuck he suddenly grows balls, is in love and take care of his self. Perhaps if he really gave a shit about himself or Carmen this wouldn't have happened. Oh well, not in my universe anyway. Don't understand the turn on for this stuff.
9 chapters of wimp ball less hubby and in the tenth he finally grows hairs on his wimp balls. Hope this is the last chapter of this sad wimp cuckolding scenarios. Fortunately I skipped much of the details in the other chapters as they were a waste of time reading.
I pissed you off with the 9 before it and don't give me that shit you didn't read them, you replied to each chapter. So since I fucked your brain up I think I'll write another chapter making Eddie like you a wim dim witted ass w/o a name! There's just pleasing your fag ass is there Ass God bles!!!
I hope he lives through this. And maybe leaves Carmen. He should read what happened to Bonnie.
Ms. Bonnie: You have become one of my fave authors on this site. Your stories are especially realistic and, naturally, creatively erotic. Thank you for taking the time to use your skills to provide us, your fans, with some steamy (and romantic!) literary pieces. (PS, no one can describe the female form better than you! Keep up the great work!)
i only read the final chapter, but what an end. carmen and jason and the pimp, all gone. yuki was it. the callous wife and lover may do whatever, and husband certainly cares not
Bonnie I get so tired of all the stories where the husband
is a wimp. Glad you let him be a man. What gets me is all
the detractors to stories like this aren't man enough to
get a user name and log in. They are the wimps.
please keep writing.
Although I am not the intended target group of this story I read it in parts. I was astonished with how much feeling you approach this difficult topic and story. You fantasy is intelligent and your plot structure much more plausible then most of the stuff here.
Let me tell you that creativity is not really possible to learn by hard but craftsmanship is. I do not share the other critics opinion, but if they where to be true, you will have no problem, because your story is already working. I have written about 20 books including science, prose and fiction, from my experience I can tell, a story must be nice to the reader and strong in ideas, that can´t be fixed. Language, style and everything else can be learned through practice. Most writers are well off in means of craftsmanship but have no feeling, some of them get a last chance by becoming a mean critic.
Sincerely yours
Berlinger
it shows two things, first it shows Carmen never loved him, cuckolding isn't love of any kind. Second he falls in lover with a hooker after 2days. Hell he had a whore already, Carmen. 3 stars, just fo the writing
for cuckdogg, and that's cuck-love. 10 chapters of cuckolding (every chapter says "cuck" in the description) means you love cuckold stories like Romney loves money.
eddie should haved kicked his wife in the cunt and in the ass along with her boy friend. and when her fuck boy was getting so fucking bossy he should gotten gon and shoved it up his ass and pulled his gun and droped the hammer'and toled them go buy .
But I was so hoping to read about Eddie sucking Jason's cock a little at first, then on a regular basis. In the end I hoped he'd find Yukie and they'd be together, but for ME, I needed to read about him sucking out warm loads of cum from Jason's cock.
I wish I hadn't
Even happier I didn't read the 9 chapters leading into to this
I liked these stories, but I agree with the comment about wanting Eddie to suck Jason's cock. That would have been good. However, Eddie sucking Jason's loads out of Carmenls pussy, and especially getting fucked in the ass by Jason, were very good. I also like the ending.
Eddie should've shot that Jason pussy's cock & balls off and then turned his useless whore old lady over to some pimp as a tireless whore. All problems would've been solved.
Poorly conceived and badly written drivel. The complete turnaround of his attitude was laughable. And the dialogue must have been from the lips of a 12 year old.
No stars as even giving this one star would be an insult to the star.
Poorly written and too far fetched. No one can be as stupid, naive and gullible as you made Eddie out to be.
ive read many of ya stories and then had my wife read them. she thinks u are a man hater.and tells me to not ready stories like yours, cause i get pissed, and remember how i use to fill about shit heads like u right about.
Puke
especially this last chapter is unsatisfying. You should have given Carmen’s thoughts on being replaced.
In my opinion you elaborated to much on events in the chapters.
I will say the ending was a surprise.
... there were a lot of very hot set pieces in this story, so all is forgiven. The ending was weak and not really consistent.
Glad I skipped to the 10th chapter and, as comments seem to indicate, I made a great decision.
This story sure could use some editing. There were so many grammar errors and it was too redundant. The surprised ending needed more elaboration. How the hell does a 20$ whore suck a dick? Most escorts don't have pimps. Overall, though, the story was pretty hot. Thank you for writing this story. Great job!!!!