by wordsinthedust
If this Charles takes advantage of these kids it will totaly fuck over a great story. Keep it just with the Bro&Sis being together. Dont ruin it
this chapter is mostly recap of the last chapter,but in another person's point of view. The story needs to move forward to some new material. A good chapter though. Thanks ....Rich
I like the different perspective of the voyeur in this chapter and it has potential to make for an interesting subplot to the story. I'd like to see where it goes as long as it stays a subplot for now, as Ali and Tommy have a lot more of their story to develop. Keep the voyeuristic subplot, but I hope you don't change the direction of the story.
I agree with the other comments ... this chapter had very little development in the progression between the main characters unless you are now introducing Lisa and Charles as main characters as well ...
Personally, I don't want to see Lisa and Charles taking advantage of them because she suspects they are Brother & Sister. On the other hand, if she keeps that secret to herself and is simply contacting Charles because he is her art agent ... that's totally different.
I really would like to see more and see how Lisa deals with their developing romance right in front of her eyes. Do please continue, but you should try to include more development with new chapters.
Overall, the story is one of the hottest I've read in a long while. Keep it up ... even if you take it in a direction I don't like ... keep it up. :D
tell me Charles is Lisa's brother. PLEASE! i would love to read some LisaxCharles action if they are indeed bro/sis. then, in the future, give both couples a happy ending. :D
i agree with the other posters, DON'T let Charles or Lisa join the 2. just DON'T! keep it bro/sis.
I love this story & I hope you write chapter 4 soon. I agree with the first person to comment, don't fuck with their relationship. Don't get them envolved sexualy with any one else but themselves.
I just found this and am loving it! Very nicely written.
I do agree with the others in the respect that as lovely as the last chapter was, I'm ready to see it move more forward. The difference in POV lent a great deal to the story, seeing it from her eyes, but seemed to stall a bit.
And please, don't let this Charles dude fuck it up! lol
I like the way you turned the tables around and gave the artist more depth and character, but I was excited to see if Allison and her brother would get together in front of Lisa in the next installment! Who will Charles turn out to be? It would be better if he were an erotic art dealer and had previously worked with Lisa as a model until she grew into an artist. I would also be disappointed to see the main characters exploited by Lisa and Charles in anything other than a sexual/artistic way. It is good quality writing as well as a good, quality story.
this chapter ruined the story the way it ended it sounds like the next chapter is about blackmail and i didn't like the change of perspective totally ruined
Outstanding story. Where is ch.04? Why haven't you writen ch
04 yet? I hope you will write it soon. It has been too long since this chapter was writen.
I just want to start off by congratulating you on the excellent submission. Your writing style is simply marvelous. I can really visualize the moments you describe and it really does what it is meant to do. I love your work and will keep following it.
I'm enjoying reading this story, it is great. I've read it over several times & I hope you will post the next chapter soon.
Is this a worrying development? I do hope not. I've grown to love Ali and Tommy's relationship.