by smithE101
Good story. Just one thing you have a problem with is confusing "laid" and "laying" Should be "I, she or we lay down" and "I laid the thing down" "I have been laying the table" "I am lying down" "we are lying down" etc.
Hope that is helpful, cause it makes for a better read and these are common errors in Literotica stories.
Regards
thanks for the critique. I'll keep it in mind when writing my next story.
feedback welcomed.
Ch 1 and 2 were awesome. Thank you very much for writing those and well done. I can't wait to read the next chapter... :)
thanks, but it might be awhile. I've left it alone for awhile and i'm working on other stuff till I come up with some ideas of where to take it.
i do appreciate the comments
I really did love it although I have never met sisters who played with each other ; much as I would like to . Your attention to detail is very good and makes the story more "authentic" or believeable . Please do continue with this as it has lots of directions to take . In a pinch you can empty and wash condoms with soapy water .
You would paddle from the stern with the cuties in front of you, not row with oars unless you're in a boat.
But very much enjoyed the rest!@
Condom ruined it for me. it's a fantasy, not a trojan commercial