Yea what he said all though I might have used a bit better grammar to say I am not 10 which would get my account trminated and actuly that was the first time I saw porn the stupid thing is I thought it was a game site ._.'
Not bad. Not as good as the first, but I like the development of the different personalities of the sisters. Try to keep your POVs separate from chapter to chapter, though. Slipping into the thoughts of the other person in the room for a sentence or a paragraph is kinda sloppy and lazy in my opinion. Your writing is good, although you need an editor. I like where the plot is possibly going, though. Clean it up a bit and you're golden!
But it would be better if you kept the whole thing together with only one point of view at a time. Next chapter should be the Three getting together to figure out there next steps.
He needs to goto college and the sisters Moving close to put distance between them and the Parents.
"Forbidden Ch. 02:" - Separately Adopted More Than Eighteen Year Old Step-siblings, Step-brother, Kevin and Step-sister, Laura
See comments at the end of Chapter 01.
Again, the is an extremely well constructed and seemingly written with compassion, love and sincerity!! The writer deserves the sincere accolades of all appreciative Literotica readers.
English
Population Explosion?
Looks like both sisters will be pregnant now. Keep filling the story and the women. Mom next?
Great
I liked this story alot. It ended a little to suddenly for my taste but other than that i thought it was great. I hope more is on the way
Are they??
Why not finish, want to know if they both become pregnant from brother and what they do about it.
Yea what he said all though I might have used a bit better grammar to say I am not 10 which would get my account trminated and actuly that was the first time I saw porn the stupid thing is I thought it was a game site ._.'
Great story
Please continue. I can't wait to read what happens next.
Chapter 3 please
That was wicked, little short, but wicked. Please write another chapter
Not bad. Not as good as the first, but I like the development of the different personalities of the sisters. Try to keep your POVs separate from chapter to chapter, though. Slipping into the thoughts of the other person in the room for a sentence or a paragraph is kinda sloppy and lazy in my opinion. Your writing is good, although you need an editor. I like where the plot is possibly going, though. Clean it up a bit and you're golden!
Not Bad
But it would be better if you kept the whole thing together with only one point of view at a time. Next chapter should be the Three getting together to figure out there next steps.
He needs to goto college and the sisters Moving close to put distance between them and the Parents.
"Forbidden Ch. 02:" - Separately Adopted More Than Eighteen Year Old Step-siblings, Step-brother, Kevin and Step-sister, Laura
See comments at the end of Chapter 01.
Again, the is an extremely well constructed and seemingly written with compassion, love and sincerity!! The writer deserves the sincere accolades of all appreciative Literotica readers.
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