by nbaren
Buy a dictionary, and learn to spell (and no, spellcheck won't work). For example: loosing, though, starring, and throws are all legitimate words; it's just that they're the wrong word! Despite this type of flaw, the story is actually quite good. It's plausible and flows nicely.
-- KK in Texas
I think you did a nice job. I would have liked to see the tension build a little more and a little more of a connection between the two. But a good premise and good story.