There's lots of potential in this story. There are some writing errors, though. ("That made a few people cracked a smile." Indeed, there is something wrong with that sentence.) Overall, not bad; nothing that a cold re-read or another pair of eyes couldn't resolve. Keep writing.
-- KK in Texas
It barely introduced the idea of the story. I'd echo the previous comment too.
You are adorable. "Yes you can help me by kissing me, I thought." What a refreshing writer. Please continue your tale of seduction.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to Hush My Love Ch. 01
orMore submissions by Serena_Morni.
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about Hush My Love Ch. 01:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to Serena_Morni:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.