I enjoyed your story the only advice is watch for errors. There were not enough to ruin the story, but I did notice them. The story line had a great flow and I really simpathized with the main character. I can't wait to learn more about the interesting town. Looking forward to more!!!
Actually it's all in the writing which is curiously absent here. There are simply too many holes to fill here. Is this introducing Lovett and you wanted to avoid a travelogue or a short bio but elected to portray a hapless, helpless, clueless, just add your own adjective to the list. And mom (and dad) just gives up the kid...really? I don't get it, what was the point here? Maybe improvements are in the offing...otherwise just send photos of all the "prudy nekkid wimin" of Lovett
very very interesting
I enjoyed your story the only advice is watch for errors. There were not enough to ruin the story, but I did notice them. The story line had a great flow and I really simpathized with the main character. I can't wait to learn more about the interesting town. Looking forward to more!!!
Intersting
Your story has the earmarks of a good yarn.
Particularly with the escape from Lovett.
Rags to Riches with a great ending is in order
Lot of fun
Having read the original version I am not surprised by any of this and just enjoy revisiting. Keep up the good work!
He got what he deserved!!!!!
Any fool that would marry her deserved exactly what he got.
hmmmm
To me betrayal by someone you have know since childhood, is by far, the worse kind.
Then again, he shouldnt have married the cheating shank.
fucking
wimp
Nope
Actually it's all in the writing which is curiously absent here. There are simply too many holes to fill here. Is this introducing Lovett and you wanted to avoid a travelogue or a short bio but elected to portray a hapless, helpless, clueless, just add your own adjective to the list. And mom (and dad) just gives up the kid...really? I don't get it, what was the point here? Maybe improvements are in the offing...otherwise just send photos of all the "prudy nekkid wimin" of Lovett
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