All Comments on 'Wrong Room!'

delectable little piece. thanks.

Regardless of some of the problems pointed out by the less tolerant posters, this story has one thing going for it that many more carefully crafted stories do not. It is fun to read. And most of marriedpervs stories have that same unself-conscious, playful and fun aspect.

Keep writing, marriedpervs. You have a knack for simple, fun stories. They will only get better each time you write one.

Heck of a story. Wish she were my wife!

....lack of explanation for characters change in nature.Could have been much better-pistolpackinpete

The plot was obvious but I got excited waiting for it. I feel you rushed the story which is a shame, because it could have been so much more erotic. I love your stories though.

Pretty good. Not great but sexy and fun. Keep it up and I look forward to your next piece.

This was a quick read, since the outcome was obvious.

Your jumping from first person to third person (1st when it was her POV and 3rd when you wanted to describe Mike's agnst) was poor. It may have been better to have split the story up into two chapters - one from her pov and one from his...

Any hotel with an elevator will probably have their rooms numbered "odd" on one side and "even" on the other side. Hence, 142 could not be "next to" 143. It would have been across the hall.

Just some suggestions on how to improve your writing for the next story.

John.

Dee: Your stories are fun and arousing. Please continue flirting with us and getting us excited with your imagination. Thanks

Good story with a non-violent end. Ther are some husbands that would go off the deep end, others just leave and then - you have presented the third type reacation.

Caught the room number typo right away and of course the rest was as expected but still a lot of fun one hopes they thrive and have a good marriage after she learns that side of herself.

A second technical point along the lines of 142 and 143 most likely being on opposite sides of the hall - unless is it a really skinny tall hotel the rooms probably have number like 1402 and 1403 to accommodate more than 9 rooms to a floor - but that is a bit tedious of me - my apology.

I agree about rushing the sex scene you do them well stretch the scene out like do her body parts.

I actually was OK with the 1st - 3rd person POV shift - it fit the story was hers he was the "what ever happened to what's his name" part.

As always thanks

Mike should have spread her asscheeks and licked her bunghole out before he forced his cock in her butthole.

once you make a plan, that you cant control, make sure you have an out, TK U MLJ LV NV

Sweetie misremembered the room number from the outset! Therefore, side of hall is fairly irrelevant, except for 'pounding on wall' which was unheard or igored anyway! The 'party noise' would have been clear enough from across the hall!

There is little (except her thoughts) to substantiate the 'shy young wife' claim, not sure if it was a critical component...'gangbang virgin' would have sufficed IMHO!

One lucky man. To see your wife being enjoyed by several and then at the end you get to send in the final load is quite liberating. I would love to be in his shoes. I would most likely have to sample some cum at some point. Maybe even share it with her after I clean up her cream pie.

I like original, even if preposterous. 5*

wow, loved that story.....I can only imagine how hot both Mike and Helen were if that was real......loved it

This cheap whore is anything but shy.

Too full of inconsistencies and improbabilities to be erotic. For example, the "Ritz" permitting a loud party to continue. Also, simply not original enough

Well, way too short and no detailed description of what his happening to his wife in the other room. There were seven guys and seems that maybe two fucked her? What was she thinking all this time? The husband should have been shocked and quickly came to her rescue but he did not. WHat happened after Mike came in her ass? The story was that he added another load to bowels? What happened to her beforehand. Way too short on details.