It would be so hot for her to fuck her mom and dad. Her little pussy licked by her mom and then stretched by her dad's big cock would make a very good second chapter.Thanks.......Rich
by
Anonymous10/01/09
edit, edit and then edit.
I liked the story but "a women" and other errors are jarring and cause an interruption in the readers train of thought, instead of a smooth flow of words. "Threw" means "tossed", not "through". More practice and I think you will put out a good story with no errors.
by
Anonymous05/20/10
i liked the story but i was distracted by the bad misspellings throughout.
Great job overall though
by
Anonymous02/27/11
bad spelling, simplistic dialogue
not great, but shows promise
by
Anonymous08/22/11
Spelling?
You need to work on there, their, they're, threw, through, etc.
English
Very Nice!
Except for some typo's and wrong words used, this is a very good story.
I certanly hope that you continue this story.
It would be so hot for her to fuck her mom and dad. Her little pussy licked by her mom and then stretched by her dad's big cock would make a very good second chapter.Thanks.......Rich
edit, edit and then edit.
I liked the story but "a women" and other errors are jarring and cause an interruption in the readers train of thought, instead of a smooth flow of words. "Threw" means "tossed", not "through". More practice and I think you will put out a good story with no errors.
i liked the story but i was distracted by the bad misspellings throughout.
Great job overall though
bad spelling, simplistic dialogue
not great, but shows promise
Spelling?
You need to work on there, their, they're, threw, through, etc.
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