by torchthebitch
Definately a different take on revenge!!!!!!!!
For the next chapter, we need a sequel that gives hubby's background -- his mother was a witch and taught him her craft, and I guess he's good at it. Good satire. Thanks for writing.
You know this sounds like the way to go! The only problem was that with bullets coming through the window I can not see Janet lieing down and going to sleep without discovering what had happened. But, I loved the story and the ending caught me by surprise!
Of all the stories I think I dislike Halloween stories the most but when I saw who the author was I decided to read it. I like your warped sense of humor/justice. You didn't let me down. I loved it but like others that commented I WANT MORE! Great idea for a story. What better way to empower the wronged spouse. Just like a famous orphaned English child that uses magic to defend himself against sinister adults, only darker. Who was it that said, "Leave them wanting more"? Thank you
and then I tried this. Creative and amusing and I liked it a lot. Normally I'd give it a 3 star and a 75, but this short and sweet should be a winner...Mancelt.
Oh, so slick !
Crafted like the perfect joke, the end strikes like a sudden storm.
Would love to see a short ending with the figurine in the pale blue dress all burned up also [self-inflicted of course].
Yes Yes love the way the hubby slammed the bitchs lover you know he set it all up wonderful . .
Damn i want to see more like this but she lived the cheating slut
Of course, then you'd have to believe in Voodoo. Funny little flash story.
But the wife must be the dumbest woman on literotica and Tony the dumbest man.
Apart from the voodoo at the end (which was funny btw) that is exactly the reaction I have had in real life. Only a hubris turd would chance darkening my doorstep to pull a stunt like that. And like in real life I tossed my wife out too with no chance to explain away her shit.
But why was she still in the house the next morning? He threw her out right? That oversight ruined the story.
She was still there with him in the house in the last paragraph. WTF, She was going to cheat on him with a criminal. The criminal attacked their house. He tried to kill them, and you end the story with her still there? You need part 2 to correct this horrible situation.
....... with your literary voo-do.
A twisted response to a twisted spouse. A 'flash' that was dark.
I liked it, a lot.
5 stars is your treat for this Halloween trick.
re:
Oh a Ju-Ju man, eh?
Then why didn't it work on her?
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He hasn't used that one yet.
Probably just made it.
Vote 1* for 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐌𝐁 𝑩𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑫 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄™ (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka NEEDYOU200 aka 5+ANNONY!
Great tale. I'm glad the intended lover was destroyed. I'm also glad the cunt lived. She now knows what to look forward for her. Skank.
Five Stars
I liked this story. I generally don’t care for stories of supernatural types of stuff because I’m just not a believer in that kind of thing. But this story was short and sweet and the “Ju Ju” made the point very effectively. Then the wife saw the figurine clad in a blue robe and the paranoia began. Good story.
Glad you stopped writing, you really couldnt write even a remotely realistic woman if your life depended on it. Yes the mouth breathers love this type of idiocy, and clearly their taste in stories is highly suspect. Generally because the more testosterone driven it is ie Cro-magnon man, the wetter their panties get.
Good premise but fell way short due to lack of details and proper ending..
This is a fragment, nothing more. Write a real story, with characters, a plot, some attention to motivation, a little background and a real climax and denouement, then I will have something to comment on.
Sometimes short and sweet is best. Great story. I'm sure some of the trolls wills say its not a full story. You didn't introduce or describe characters well enough. Who cares
Nice. He made it clear he was going to divorce her. He bad guy got killed. Everything wrapped up, nice.
Your story gets holes to drive a bus throuh. How long they are married? He treated her with dead? You are adding race to justive the actions. He shows his colors in the line "you are this short from going to the door without opening" and his name calling is as worse. So yes all of the caracters are not likeably but to clapp to violence show me what kind of people read those stories and why you americans are standing "this short to war against each other"
Details don't really matter. Our MC obviously was not a man to be disrespected. This was not just a 'one done' but a 'you even talk about it' and your done. I love it! 5 stars