All Comments on 'Halloween Tourist'

Not so good for the hero, although there are worse ways to go :)

This is quite well written but I do have a few criticisms. First it would be more effective I think if you tried to avoid repeatedly describing something in the same paragraph. For instance saying she had large breasts and then saying the breasts were ample in the next sentence of the same paragraph. It just felt kind of redundant to me. The vampire character herself could use a bit of work as her vampiric aspect seemed almost an afterthought to a character who otherwise seemed perfectly kind and normal, albeit beautiful. Perhaps an explanation in a later story as to why she is okay with killing men she seems to like, what makes someone an "undesirable" (most likely meaning someone who others will miss) and such. The manner of Adam's death also seemed a bit odd. She apparently didn't drain much of his blood so what caused him to die? Humans can survive losing about 30% of their blood before they need transfusions after all, and it seems like a body found drained of blood would be considered suspicious. Even if not, how could his death be ruled "misadventure" if the only injury was a bite mark on his neck?

Although a typical story it was well written with a lot of description. Good job.