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English
Confusing.
Has lots of potential, but I found the writing style very hectic and confusing, since there is almost NO transition between "scenes", and possibly too much direct speech. I.e. two sentences directly following each other can refer to totally different circumstances, when one might expect the second one to be a reply to the first. In a way, this reminds me of a comic, where each sentence corresponds to a seperate image...
ummm intresting...
I thinl this story has a great deal of pontential to be great, but i must admit i was confused. so you mentioned that they all have some special gifts: what is kylies's gift??
and the double dialogue by the same speaker, that was confusing. i look forward to reading more as this story develops.
Kylie's power
Kylie's gift is that she can project her thought's into someone else's head ... and, if you've seen "Charmed" then she can sort of do one of Piper's tricks ... she can't freeze or blow anything up, but she can sometimes force things to move and keep them from injuring her. Hope that clarifies things a little.
From now on, if anyone wants to leave a comment with a question in it, please an email address so that I can send you a direct answer.
Ashira
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