All Comments on 'What a Treat'

I got my cock out. Do you want to stoke it?

The basic idea is quite good. There are so many places you could have gone with this but didn't bother. And your inability to construct realistic dialog is an impediment.

Also try using a spell check before you upload. Know the difference between "their", "there", "they're", "lose", "loose", "its", "it's", etc. Makes it very annoying to read if you make those basic mistakes.

Look out for capitalization and punctuation. Try writing slightly more complex sentences. I realize that I'm using simple declarative sentences here, but that's to get my point across, not to embellish or ornament. You could also check out a thesaurus to expand your vocabulary of synonyms.

good story both but lacks more sex and to short, but very good story none the less.keep going it going to be fine

Great job again! Your doing wonderful work! Thank you!

I did like this story although a longer story with more descriptive sex would be better.

enjoyed your story! Neat build up and nice climax,Thank you!